Post by Harpsdesire on Feb 25, 2011 21:10:19 GMT -5
Words: 1,131
Characters: Dania and Joel
Notes: Warnings for wierd style, comma abuse and rambling.
Don’t Really Wanna be the Queen
Dania handed Joel the thick hardcover book, smiling at him in her tentative, hopeful way. Her eyes mixed sparkle and evasion, as if she would like to believe that he was happy with her, but not quite able to believe it could be so. That, at least, hadn’t changed at all.
The young man’s eyes widened in pleased surprise as he read the title embossed into the volume’s slightly worn maroon canvas cover: Physiology of the Insect Breed. It was the book that had first brought them together, Dania and Joel, the desired piece of rare literature that had enticed him to work as her assistant for a day. It was supposed to be a simple job, rewarding, and taking place in the Court of Spades, a place he was familiar and comfortable with. Who would have thought that a simple barter deal, his labor for Dania’s expertise in hunting down hard-to-locate books, would lead to all of this.
‘All of this’, in this case, meant not only the rampant magic and horror of the days at Spades, but the friendship between himself and the Torquehelm bookseller—something warm and genuine, awkward at times, precious in its strangeness. It was one of a kind, even rarer than the crispy-yellowed book in his paws.
She was surprised to see that he had grown even more since that dreadful time, both taller and broader now, losing his baby fat but not his bulk. It was odd to think he was still growing, although he already outmatched her in height. He still had an easy, goofy way about him that was reassuring. He treated her as if they were equals, a familiarity she appreciated.
She had never wanted to be a queen. It was a cruel trick of her nature that she had always desired to rank up a little, unsatisfied to remain a respectable seven, but fell into a near-despair of unworthiness when magic changed her rank for the better. Or… maybe not for the better. She should have known that self-improvement was only rewarding when done for one’s self, and empty when done for the sake of others.
Her father had, in fact, been impressed. Deeply impressed and joyfully shocked to see that his gloomy daughter possessed a drive and value he had never seen in her. That had lasted about a week, then the questions had started. ‘So, when are you going to apply for the courts?’, he asked, and ‘Don’t you feel that as a queen, you have a responsibility to your realm?’
Of course she did. Otherwise, she could not have been nearly so miserable. It was now her duty, through no fault of her own, to represent her realm by making something of herself. No longer could she hide in the comfortable stuffiness of Esterberry academia, spending long delightful hours poring over books of Torquehelm history and legends. Now, if she had any sense of responsibility at all, she would strive to leverage her rank for the good of the people. She would become, and she cringed, a Public Figure. Ugh.
Her father’s pride both warmed and frightened her. If only she had considered, all the long years of despairing that he expected so little of her, how much worse it could be when he expected everything. Before, there was no need to fear that she might let him down. Now she stood to let everyone down. She hadn’t worked for her queenship, hadn’t deserved it, and didn’t know what to do with it or even want it. Dania felt pathetic and deceptive in turns—she wore the rank, she wielded the spells, but her heart was not the heart of nobility. She still had the heart of a little girl, one who was scared and not yet quite sure where she fit into a world that suddenly felt too big and terribly claustrophobic all at once. All she really wanted was to learn things that would be no use in the courts, perfect her skills in repairing old books, and maybe now and then join Graeme for a little adventure.
Glancing down at Joel, who had unselfconsciously flopped full length on the bookstore floor to open his precious text, Dania smiled. The world was inexplicable and scary, but at least it held one person who seemed anything but disappointed in her. As if he heard her thoughts, the corvie breathed, “This is even better than I hoped!” He flipped a few more pages, his face wreathed by his signature wide, cheery grin. “It’s brilliant!”
This—this was going to lead to breakthroughs in his research, Joel could just feel it. He was sure that Dania had gone through quite a bit to find it, too. At any rate, it had taken several months of searching, and trips to the Capital and Esterberry, maybe Corvistowne, as well. She kept her word about helping him get the book even though the library of Spades never did get properly organized. That counted for something.
At least, the rat thought, her new noble rank probably helped when it came to getting information and favors from booksellers and wealthy cards who had private libraries of scientific works. That was one thing she could be grateful for. She tried, and at first failed, to think of any others. Her high-ranked spells, while helpful on the dreadful day when she had first learned them, had really been useless since, as she had no desire or occasion to fight. And if she never used that suits-cursed memory stealing spell again, well, it’d be too soon.
All she really needed to know was between the comforting covers of books. Organized, classified, neatly ordered and contained. Not at all like the real world, which was untidy and a bit mad. Just now Joel was experiencing the beauty of it, facts and dreams and wishes in a compact paper package. Sensing her eyes on him, Joel looked up, smiling stretching even wider.
“Thanks, Dania.”
“Well, you earned it.” She smiled back without realizing it, the expression warming her pointed rodent face.
Joel had earned it, many times over. He deserved that book, and it felt right to repay him, in a way, for his bravery. Felt good to see that inimitable smile directed at her, his eyes glowing with excitement. He had probably saved her life more than once that night in the palace of Spades. Joel, Dania thought, was the one with the noble heart. If the world was fair he’d be a queen and she would still be a seven. But life wasn’t fair, she had learned that lesson well.
Like it or not, she was a queen. She sighed. Might as well at least try to act like it.
Characters: Dania and Joel
Notes: Warnings for wierd style, comma abuse and rambling.
Don’t Really Wanna be the Queen
Dania handed Joel the thick hardcover book, smiling at him in her tentative, hopeful way. Her eyes mixed sparkle and evasion, as if she would like to believe that he was happy with her, but not quite able to believe it could be so. That, at least, hadn’t changed at all.
The young man’s eyes widened in pleased surprise as he read the title embossed into the volume’s slightly worn maroon canvas cover: Physiology of the Insect Breed. It was the book that had first brought them together, Dania and Joel, the desired piece of rare literature that had enticed him to work as her assistant for a day. It was supposed to be a simple job, rewarding, and taking place in the Court of Spades, a place he was familiar and comfortable with. Who would have thought that a simple barter deal, his labor for Dania’s expertise in hunting down hard-to-locate books, would lead to all of this.
‘All of this’, in this case, meant not only the rampant magic and horror of the days at Spades, but the friendship between himself and the Torquehelm bookseller—something warm and genuine, awkward at times, precious in its strangeness. It was one of a kind, even rarer than the crispy-yellowed book in his paws.
She was surprised to see that he had grown even more since that dreadful time, both taller and broader now, losing his baby fat but not his bulk. It was odd to think he was still growing, although he already outmatched her in height. He still had an easy, goofy way about him that was reassuring. He treated her as if they were equals, a familiarity she appreciated.
She had never wanted to be a queen. It was a cruel trick of her nature that she had always desired to rank up a little, unsatisfied to remain a respectable seven, but fell into a near-despair of unworthiness when magic changed her rank for the better. Or… maybe not for the better. She should have known that self-improvement was only rewarding when done for one’s self, and empty when done for the sake of others.
Her father had, in fact, been impressed. Deeply impressed and joyfully shocked to see that his gloomy daughter possessed a drive and value he had never seen in her. That had lasted about a week, then the questions had started. ‘So, when are you going to apply for the courts?’, he asked, and ‘Don’t you feel that as a queen, you have a responsibility to your realm?’
Of course she did. Otherwise, she could not have been nearly so miserable. It was now her duty, through no fault of her own, to represent her realm by making something of herself. No longer could she hide in the comfortable stuffiness of Esterberry academia, spending long delightful hours poring over books of Torquehelm history and legends. Now, if she had any sense of responsibility at all, she would strive to leverage her rank for the good of the people. She would become, and she cringed, a Public Figure. Ugh.
Her father’s pride both warmed and frightened her. If only she had considered, all the long years of despairing that he expected so little of her, how much worse it could be when he expected everything. Before, there was no need to fear that she might let him down. Now she stood to let everyone down. She hadn’t worked for her queenship, hadn’t deserved it, and didn’t know what to do with it or even want it. Dania felt pathetic and deceptive in turns—she wore the rank, she wielded the spells, but her heart was not the heart of nobility. She still had the heart of a little girl, one who was scared and not yet quite sure where she fit into a world that suddenly felt too big and terribly claustrophobic all at once. All she really wanted was to learn things that would be no use in the courts, perfect her skills in repairing old books, and maybe now and then join Graeme for a little adventure.
Glancing down at Joel, who had unselfconsciously flopped full length on the bookstore floor to open his precious text, Dania smiled. The world was inexplicable and scary, but at least it held one person who seemed anything but disappointed in her. As if he heard her thoughts, the corvie breathed, “This is even better than I hoped!” He flipped a few more pages, his face wreathed by his signature wide, cheery grin. “It’s brilliant!”
This—this was going to lead to breakthroughs in his research, Joel could just feel it. He was sure that Dania had gone through quite a bit to find it, too. At any rate, it had taken several months of searching, and trips to the Capital and Esterberry, maybe Corvistowne, as well. She kept her word about helping him get the book even though the library of Spades never did get properly organized. That counted for something.
At least, the rat thought, her new noble rank probably helped when it came to getting information and favors from booksellers and wealthy cards who had private libraries of scientific works. That was one thing she could be grateful for. She tried, and at first failed, to think of any others. Her high-ranked spells, while helpful on the dreadful day when she had first learned them, had really been useless since, as she had no desire or occasion to fight. And if she never used that suits-cursed memory stealing spell again, well, it’d be too soon.
All she really needed to know was between the comforting covers of books. Organized, classified, neatly ordered and contained. Not at all like the real world, which was untidy and a bit mad. Just now Joel was experiencing the beauty of it, facts and dreams and wishes in a compact paper package. Sensing her eyes on him, Joel looked up, smiling stretching even wider.
“Thanks, Dania.”
“Well, you earned it.” She smiled back without realizing it, the expression warming her pointed rodent face.
Joel had earned it, many times over. He deserved that book, and it felt right to repay him, in a way, for his bravery. Felt good to see that inimitable smile directed at her, his eyes glowing with excitement. He had probably saved her life more than once that night in the palace of Spades. Joel, Dania thought, was the one with the noble heart. If the world was fair he’d be a queen and she would still be a seven. But life wasn’t fair, she had learned that lesson well.
Like it or not, she was a queen. She sighed. Might as well at least try to act like it.
