Truths Exposed [For FP-luff! Ended]

[FlyingPanther]

Silvanus listened to her words sadly. No, no one had the right to feel like their lives were governed by other people, but the world was not that simple. The truth was, that everyone was governed by their friends and parents to some degree. The actions of others close off roads and open new ones as time progresses, weather we choose to like it or not. We can take our own roads, go off course even, but in the end it is always met with a consequence. The choice the two of them had made, had been completely off course...at least for Silvanus, and in the end, they were met with what was inevitable. If anything, Igal had every right to change their paths now that they had so obviously changed his, undesirable as it may be.

He had no time to say anything however, before Igal came and stormed out. Silvanus turned to Astyana...who seemed to already have an answer to Igal's proposal before even really considering what the male had offered. Silvanus listened to her...taking in her words, his eyes still tired and sad. He sighed rather loudly, though not upset, when she asked about feigning romance. He scratched the back of his neck, before finally saying something. "If only such a thing worked. Ophelia and I tried it a bit, but our children saw right through it. I've even had a few who hate my guts for it. Children are alot smarter then we give them credit for, and for that...I am so deeply sorry. I can be around...and try to father them the best I can...but it isn't right to lie to our children in such a way. They would know...and would hate us for it. They would notice before we did that their family was not like every other normal married couple family. I think...it would be best to be honest to them...even if it hurts us or them, or the collection of us. I can't lie anymore Astyana....I dont want something like this to happen again." he said turning away for a moment, and it was obvious that he was talking about the event with Igal.

"As I said before...I'll be there for you and the children. Maybe you should talk to Igal...tell him what you think. I will always be here...and my opinion on the matter wont change...but Igal's mind is fluctuating rather quickly, and I think we are on the verge of loosing him." Silvanus rubed his temples....a headache now forming within him as well. "I think he wants to know that he has you in some way....that your trust in him isn't completely gone....that he might still mean something to you in some way. I would take his offer to help raise the children...You might need more help then I can give...thanks to....everything thats going on."

-------

Igal sat in bipedal form on the couch. His mind almost blank...staring into the fireplace, though there was no fire burning. No, he was looking at the black ashes on the bottom...clumped up in lumps were logs might have once been, and the brick fireplace itself stained with black burns from the fire licking at it. He couldnt really think if he tried, he mostly just sat there...staring and holding his breath. Awaiting some sort of answer.

What was he going to do now?

[Spiderfly]

FP and Tig both receive 1 token each, to be redeemed in Ashwin's Shoppe. This will automatically be added to your recorded totals in the shoppe. Congratulations, and keep up the good RP!

[Tigeress]

She considered his words a moment, reflecting on her childhood. Yes, she had been wise beyond her years, but terrible events had been happening ever since she was old enough to store any sort of memory base. Perhaps children brought up in a more innocent environment would be different? But no, he had experience on the matter, he'd tried and failed and it had only torn him farther from his offspring. She didn't want this to be a repeat experience for him, she didn't know how much more ill will the gentle stag could stand. His eyes spoke the wearyness of his heart, and she found herself grabbing his hands comfortingly.

"Don't blame yourself so harshly for everything that goes wrong in your life. We can do this the right way, we can be honest to our children, to ourselves, to Igal... you're right, no more hiding. We can make this better, I believe it." She gave the hands a light squeeze before staring out the door, trying to listen in on what noises Igal was or was not making. She couldn't make out any noise which was slightly concerning, and so she decided to wrap their recovery time up and start trying to make things better as she had promised Silvanus.

"Of course, not to offend you, but there's no way you could be a proper father to two entirely different sets of offspring, developing so far apart from each other. I was only hoping that it would be your face they continue to recognise as father, and Igal's as a friend... a... nanny, I suppose?" She might have smiled, but it took too much effort for one so emotionally drained. Instead, she dropped her eyes to the ground as she tried to think of a response to Igal's proposal. Standing, she moved quickly out of the bathroom with purpose, not wanting to seem afraid of the bipedal form of her childhood friend.

"Congratulations, by the way." She started, quietly so as not to alarm him. He had wanted this so bad, and she had too, she hated seeing him lick up food and drink from the floor like a dog. But, this was not the time to dote on that, happy things might come later if she was careful. "I would like to accept your offer, if it still stands. It is... obviously impossible for Silvanus to be a proper father to both Ophelia's children and mine, and they will need a male figure in the timespan between to look after and to influence them. I really would appreciate the help." She sat near him on the couch, and couldn't help but admit to herself that as time and age progressed, Igal did gain more and more handsome qualities about him. Though now they were hidden behind a fine mask of a tired irritation... at her? At life? Possibly both.

[FlyingPanther]

Silvanus shook his head..."In that, you and Igal are right, though I myself hate to admit it. I can't be in two places at once...and not to mention...I'm not married to either of you, and it would not feel right staying at either one of yours houses, though that is no fault of you or hers. I would not suggest lying and saying Igal is their biological father, though...I can't deny that they might feel like he is more of a father to them then I. Not that this will make me visit you two and the children less....if Igal will allow me..." He squeezed her hand back before letting his drop. Astyana truely was a nice woman, it was almost a shame he didn't have any real feelings for her except those bordering on friendship. His mother might have even liked her...well...at least better then Ophelia. He knew his mother was wriggling in her grave from that encounter. He gave a small smile as Astyana left the bathroom and headed into the room with Igal. He followed soon after, attempting to be quite...and hiding behind the wall...just so he could make sure everything would go alright.

Igal swiveled around with a bit of a start when Astyana spoke...not but a few feet from him. He had been consentrating on the fireplace so intencely that he had lost track of time...and exactly what was going on. He mentally shook his head and spoke to her. "Thanks...I suppose....I don't really know how it happened." he looked back at the fireplace...his eyes just as tired as Silvanus' had been. Everyone was tired...and now HE wasn't being honest. He turned back to her. "I suppose I'm more of a Kahmdenian then even you. For so long now I wanted to have a bipedal form. Wanted...but I never had the passion behind it...that I had for other things. I've never really had very much passion for anything. But suddenly...I found the passion that I needed to take the form and keep it." he didn't tell her that she had been the inspiration. It wasn't the place or time for it, certainly not now. He had wanted to run away...never see either of them again, and in a way...he still wanted that. But his undying love for Astyana wouldn't allow that. He thought...maybe she would like him better if he was bipedal...less...rat and doglike. More dignified...like Silvanus. That was the final thought before he finally reached his new form. But it was all for nothing. He knew Astyana would never love him...even if he deluded himself into believing there was still some chance.

He blinked his eyes a bit, suprised that Astyana was ready to take his offer so quickly. He had wanted to tell her that he would not allow his offer to stand if Silvanus was still in the picture. A part of him wanted Silvanus out of both of their lives. But she looked into her eyes...and knew that while he might be able to say No to Silvanus...she wouldn't. A part of him knew she wouldn't let him go, and his eyes grew more tired...irration leaving only to be replaced by a sence of defeat. "Of course it still stands." he said, turning away from her and looking into the fire before speaking once again after some time have gone by. "I don't want to stay here anymore." he said simply...but didn't motion to leave just yet.

[Tigeress]

She felt Silvanus' presence at her back and let herself relax if only for a little while. Their small talk had gone over well, and while ideal, she wasn't the sort to try and push matters. She would get what she could take. Silvanus had promised to be there for her and the children, and that was all she needed to know. On the way out, she quietly said, "I hope you understand that you are more than welcome at my house, their house, our house..." she tentatively touched the bulge once before continuing, "With no strings attached. Just for company's sake, and if the weather proves to be unpleasant, I will physically keep you there." She tried to make light of the situation, a small joke, no implications or obligations, that was the last thing either of them needed in that moment.

She couldn't help but smile at his comment, though it was a little bitter with the knowledge that she probably caused it, though she thought it was passionate hatred for her that might have done it. "I faintly remember thinking the same about when I aquired mine, though I had been trying hard, I never thought to succeed as quickly as I did. I didn't expect it." She commented absent-mindedly, following his eyes into the fire. A familiar fire... pleasant memories, memories she would keep with her when this all was over.

She almost laughed outright at his comment about her realm, it was true, she couldn't deny it. "Funny that, neither of us grew up in my realm, and yet I'm strapped with the title and coat, while you have the attitude." It sounded ruder than she meant it, and she coughed to try and wave off how stiff the comment had come off. "Either way, I am very happy for you. My offer from before still stands, if you feel awkward, I'm getting better with my form and I can help you." She didn't want to say anything about Silvanus, didn't want to direct any attention to him just yet. She was confident he'd let his presence be known when he was good and ready. Right now he probably wouldn't intrude with how well things were going between Igal and Astyana... in the fact that he hadn't tried to hurt her or yell at her or cuss her into the ground.

She merely nodded as he confirmed that his offer still stood, noting shifts of emotion dancing through his eyes, he seemed undecided about something. However, it was obvious he was content to keep it to himself, the silence growing thick between them. His voice admittedly made her jump a little, hands moving delicately to smooth and disturbed fur. They'd had a similar encounter before by the fountain, it almost made her smile. She wanted things to go back to the way they had been. "You're welcome at my place Igal, just as you have always been. In fact, it might be good for someone to be with me, I've no idea how far along I am exactly, I think I'm carrying it extremely well which may not be a good thing if I am alone and a... ah... surprise happens." She didn't know how her invitation would be received, by Igal or Silvanus, but it was an honest decision that made sense to her. If Silvanus came with her, Igal would probably leave for good, this was the best way to give everyone what they wanted.

[FlyingPanther]

Igal's eyes remained on the empty fireplace, and if there had been rudeness in Astyana's words, Igal would have been oblivious to them. The sounds in the world were just that...sounds that made some intellectual sence if he only cared to listen a bit more. "Paws seem to be a bit more supportive then hooves...which appear to have low surface area...and so I would assume would be harder to walk in. Though I can't say I wouldn't dislike the help." his words were like those between them back before this had happened. Friendly and monotone. Igal's emotions were still rampent...and that was evident by the fact that he seemed to switch so quickly between being ok, angry, sad, cold, and ok. He was trying to regain control of himself more likely. His rat-like tail came around, and he grabbed it with his arms, holding it to him a bit...still in thought. He really wished he had gained a canine tail, his current rat one was so unappealing. He would gladly give away his paws for a nice fluffy dog tail rather then just keeping his 'fluffy' rat one. It was probably his least attractive feature, at least in his mind. He was glad for the fact that his face was such a mix of canine and rat that it wasn't just purely rat...and so at least feigned handsomeness. So much of himself he wished he could change. She would like him better if he wasn't such an ugly hybrid.

"Suprises of that sort could turn horrifying fast. Are you certain I could live with you? I know you probably feel pretty uncomfortible around me now." he said cursing to himself. He had screwed his relationship with her over, he knew that for certain. But was this just her natural kindness? Could they really be friends again? Could she really learn to trust him again?

Silvanus smiled to himself. He hated to know that Igal didn't want to live with him anymore. He had grown quite accustomed to his presence...and he did care for him a great deal. But maybe now...at least he wouldn't be alone? He wouldn't go off and do something stupid now.....or maybe he would? Who knew...but he hoped that maybe, at least, Igal and Astyana could patch things up...even if he and Igal never would.

[Tigeress]

She listened to him speak with a passive attentiveness, more focussing on his expression and actions as opposed to the words, though those did register, if just a little slower than might be normal. He grabbed his tail like a security blanket, but a grungy one that he wasn't quite sure he liked anymore. She didn't like that he was so repulsed by himself, but she didn't know how to make him see the good in himself either. Any chance she had, she'd probably blown by overlooking him to run off and play slap and tickle with his adoptive father. For that, she felt guilty, though she still felt that Igal's feeling for her would forever restrain her from having the freedom to choose... certain people to have romances with. Maybe that wasn't a terrible thing?

"Exactly, I'm glad you made that connection on your own." She visibly whitened a bit, intimidated by giving birth almost as much as motherhood. So many things could go wrong, with her, the kids, the 'family'... this wasn't the time for her worries, this was the time to ease Igal's. His words brought about a stern look to her pixie like features, one hand reaching to touch his comfortingly as she'd done with Silvanus. "Igal... do I look uncomfortable? I would not invite you into my home if I thought I'd be walking on eggshells around you. You've shown me from just talking to me, things... well... maybe this can all work out okay..." Her voice was soft, not trying to make assumptions and make it seem as if his feelings would be so easily mended, but the look in his eyes there that she'd seen for just a moment, it was the Igal she remembered. Somehow she felt he'd be willing to try.

She didn't glance towards Silvanus yet, though she was concerned if he would step in or not. She wanted so very badly for Silvanus and Igal to have a conversation that went something like this, gentle, familiar, almost like nothing ever happened though there was still rampant emotion on both sides. But his decision to leave had told her it would probably be a goodbye of few words. Which may have been for the best, Silvanus needed time alone, and Igal needed to be with someone who he still trusted, if only a little.

[FlyingPanther]

Igal couldn't help but have his hand jump a little as she touched it. He hadn't imagined she would venture to be physically intimate so soon after an event like the one that had just occured. But there she was, touching his hand in reassurance. He let it linger there...for as long as she would let it...deciding that he was ok with it. "Maybe." he repeated without much passion...thought it could have been just his general monotone way of speaking. "Can all work out okay" was something he was hoping for, but he knew in his heart nothing would be the same. Even if they managed to forget for a while...old haunts always managed to come back. He had forgotten completely about his father...then in his teenage years he met up with the stupid male again. As long as there were triggers...the memory would not completely fade...and there would be doubt to accompany them. He sighed. He had royally screwed things up, and no matter how much Astyana fed him pretty lies of everything being ok...the truth was...that in a way it never would be.

Igal looked at Astyana. Well, maybe it would never go away, but he wanted to believe her innocent lies. He would delude himself for her sake...and for his own sanity. Deluding one's self was never much of a good idea, but Igal felt he had little choice. Every other option told him to leave her and Silvanus and find a different road to start going down. But he clung to the distroyed path that lead him to Astyana's heart like a flotation device, and he wanted to think that once this settled down...it might stay in the subconcious long enough to show Astyana finally how he felt about her. Today was a day of honesty...and he had been far from it with Astyana, not letting her know anything of his feelings for her.

He looked at her belly and realized as he did before, though under more horrifying circumstances, that he already felt a closeness to them. He wanted to be there fore them as no body had really been there for him other then Silvanus.

Silvanus finally turned the corner watching the two on the couch and smiling slightly, though more because he wanted to make the situation light then anything else. Igal looked up to see him, then looked away. If there were any words of goodbye between the two, it would most likely be from Silvanus. Igal didn't have the look in his eyes that held Silvanus in them, or any words for him. A door had been shut, and he himself wasn't sure if it would ever open again. Silvanus ignored it. "So...I suppose this is goodbye..." he said awkwardly, scratching his neck and realizing he coudlnt really do that now with the bandageing...unless he wanted to inadvertently undo them.

Igal stood suddenly, as if he had enough of Silvanus' presence. He looked down to Astyana, warmth returning to his eyes for a fraction of a second before going cold again. "I can help you home if you would like. I need some time alone...but...I will take your offer to live with you...and help raise the children. I will be back midnight latest. However, if you need help home...I will not say no." he looked at her belly and her wounds as if in explination of his offer to help her home. Silvanus watched the interaction.

[OOC: I think this rp is pretty much done...you can rap it up in the next post if you would like? Or we could continue for a couple more posts...but I just dont see it going anywhere more at this point XD;;;;]

[Tigeress]

[Okies, this looks like a good spot to wrap it up ]

She strived to place more warmth in his voice, in his expression, her hands lingering for longer than normally they would have. He didn't push her away, so that had to mean he appreciated the small gesture. It made the weight on her chest lighter to know that for one- he was still talking to her, and for another- he was more concerned about her feelings than his own. It might have sounded selfish, but.. that was just Igal, the Igal she had known. It had always been her before himself or anyone else, though she'd been too blind to see it. It was comforting to see shreds of that familiar personality, enough so that she knew she'd made the right decision inviting him to stay with her.

"Of course, I think we could all use some time alone..." She took this moment to smile at Silvanus, seeing his expression had also made it all worth it. For once in her life she felt like she was pulling all the right cards, saying all the right things. She'd never been good at mending bad situations before, so for her, having something go right for all parties involved was just positively thrilling. It would have been even more so if she wasn't so physically and mentally exhausted that her thoughts were becomming jumbled in her head.

As if on cue, she touched her head when Igal spoke, a small tired chuckle escaping from her lips. "Yes... I will need the help home, it's been a long day. Feel free to take as long as you want out tonight, if you're staying with me my house will be as much yours as it is mine, and I'm not your mother... If you aren't in by midnight though, a call would be nice just so I don't worry." With that she stood, and placed a hand on Igal's shoulder to right herself as she did so. The world swam for about ten seconds as her body rocked back and forth, steadying at last.

Taking a deep breath in she began to move towards the door, putting her hands on her hips as she walked past Silvanus. "For now, Silvanus... just for now." She playfully corrected, trying not to appear too rushed to get to the door, though a breath of fresh night air was just what she needed at that moment. And when she got home, a bath, yes... dried blood always made her skin crawl.