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Post by Vyn on Sept 5, 2007 2:34:20 GMT -5
Ophelia simply watched Silvanus for a long time once he sat down beside her, but the unusual doe didn't hesitate to take his hand once he reached out for hers. Lightly she slid closer, allowing herself to lean against him ever so slightly. The touch was casual, just a simple need to be close to him...or perhaps it was the need to comfort him. He seemed so distraught, so torn up over the news that he was in fact a father.
Or, perhaps. Perhaps it was something more. "What's running through that head of yours, Silvanus?" Ophelia's words were quietly thoughtful, the yellow-green orbs that lifted onto him full of studious curiousity. She wanted to know what it was she was seeing in his big blue eyes, but she did not know the workings of his soul well enough to read so deeply. "You seem troubled by more than just my announcement."
Lightly she had tangled her fingers within his own, holding his hand as she leaned her lithe body in more fully and brought her free hand up to touch his arm. Now she was definitely aiming to offer him comfort. For as she broached on his inner sanctum, she felt it was the least she could do.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 5, 2007 2:55:43 GMT -5
The touch was friendly enough, and Silvanus didn't feel the need to repel himself from her. Ophelia had been the rare acception to most Corvistowne-ians, and he was able to feel comfort in her touch now, and even wanted it from time to time. A gentle lean did not trouble him, and he found himself leaning slightly against her aswell. He grasped her hand with more conviction now, interlacing his fingers with hers, another friendly gesture.
The silence between them seemed to calm him strangely enough. It allowed his thoughts to wander off, as if in search of something else that was new. But the silence wouldn't be forever, as was shown when Ophelia asked him some rather hard questions. "I'm thinking about alot of different things," he admitted to her.
"I've always wanted children, and yet...I can't help but feel like...I've failed them before they are even born. My mother..." he had to stop for a moment, and it was evident that his mother was heavy on his mind, "My mother would be so ashamed of me...You are my friend Ophelia, and I have grown to like you greatly despite my feelings about your people. But this....this would never have been acceptible to my mother. I know shes gone...and it shouldn't matter..." he couldn't finish his sentence.
"I have no doubts that you know about Avingtonians. We all carry our own secrets...things we would keep quite to the grave. There are memories that have been triggered by this event, that shouldn't be. I feel horrible for remembering them...for thinking of them...in a time...where I should feel happy that I'm having children...with anyone. But not just with anyone, but with a talented and good friend such as yourself. Oh, Ophelia...this is all just...so wrong. What it should be and what it is seem to be so different. I don't know what to do...or think..."
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Post by Vyn on Sept 7, 2007 15:11:29 GMT -5
Ophelia liked this, liked the way that they could sit side by side with fingers laced as they leaned upon one another for support and it would remain friendly; casual. Unlike so many others, he didn't want anything more from her than what they already had and Ophelia simply couldn't ask for anything more from him. A true relationship would have only complicated this charming friendship of theirs.
"But it does." Ophelia finished the sentence for him, but her yellow-green orbs were nothing but understanding. This was a side that only Silvanus would be allowed to see; the softer side of Ophelia's proud self. "My father was just as...vehement...about purity." The doe laughed softly, but the sound was unusual; lacking in something. "He was all pride, no logic: I was to marry to someone of my region, to a powerful Spade. To follow in his footsteps and join in the Courts... He's never forgiven me, I don't think -- even after all this time -- but I've grown accustomed to his disdain."
Ophelia paused, listening in silence to his words and woes. She had known it was something like that. Memories... They had a way of pulling you right out of the moment and flinging you miles into the past.
"And are these memories... are they your secret Silvanus?" Gently her grip upon his hand tightened, it was a thoughtful squeeze and one of consolation as well. It was obvious that he needed the inner support. "You cannot rely upon the beliefs and wants of others. If you want to be happy, than be happy...but if its those memories that hold you back, then you need to learn to move beyond them. They're only hurting you, Silvanus..."
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 8, 2007 3:18:31 GMT -5
Silvanus felt a deep pain within himself. No one should have to live with their parents disdain. It made him want to start to cry again, the memories plagueing him so intencely that he almost wished he could forget everything. With a blank slate he could start a new life, and not be so weight down by the occurences of the past. He managed to keep his emotions in check enough so that he didn't get teary eyed again. After all, it was a tragic occurance, but it was not exactly like his memories. Ophelia had chosen the path she wanted to walk along, the one that influtrated his mind had no such choices. "I am very sorry to hear about your father. No one should have to suffer the dislike of their parents. Somehow it seems to be more common then I could have ever imagined." he thought about Igal then as well. His parents having such instant dislike of him that they completely abandoned him. More memories...
How many good people were ruined by memories? Silvanus wanted to sigh. 'But, I'm not a good person' he admited, 'I'm racist, getting people pregnant, and well...there is that little thing to contend with.' "I am afraid that, for all my attempts at being a good person, I find more often then not that I have done something wrong...or worthy of disdain." he said aloud, without even really realizing it. He immidiately regretted saying anything. He didn't want Ophelia to know the truth. She wouldn't look at him the same, he knew this to be absolutely true. Even if she did find it in her heart to forgive...she would still never look at him the same. No one would.
It was then that she asked the question he had seen coming. Any time he brought up the secrets of Avingtons people always asked. He supposed that it was just peoples natural curiosity, but he wished more then ever before that people would understand that secrets are ment to be kept. There is a reason why they are called secrets. "Yes, they are my secrets." he said plainly, looking down at her hand within his.
There was something about Ophelia, and his friendship with her, that made him feel strangely comfortible, despite how uncomforible it really was. He felt he could act so differently in front of Ophelia, in ways that he could not with other people. She was not corrupted by the knowledge of his secrets, and while she asked about them, she did not pry like the others. He feared people more then he was willing to admit. Somehow he always expected others to somehow find out, or trick him into telling them. But she was his only Corvistowne friend, and they as a rule it seemed, tended to be more interested in the natural world or the sciences then to get to the bottom of a bit of fishy behavior from a random fellow. He knew he could trust her if he ever wanted to tell his secret.
But she would never forgive him...
"You don't understand," he said simply, because it was not a matter of what was going to make him happy...and it was not something that he could so easily forget. It had been a test of his moral fiber, and he had lost. "When I was very young...my mother was raped. She became pregnant...and...I had a brother...he was...a monster." His eyes were focused in horror at the wall in front of them, as if he could see his brother right before his very eyes. His mouth slightly agape, and his eyes watery with a mix of fear and sadness. It would be unwise to pluck him from his reverie, however frightening it was. He let go of her hand, placing his head in both his hands. He wanted to forget. "I'm sorry....I....I....I can't talk about this anymore." his sholders shook with the beginnings of what looked to be sobs.
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Post by Spiderfly on Sept 9, 2007 21:22:45 GMT -5
Vyn and FlyingPanther both receive 1 token each, to be redeemed in Ashwin's Shoppe.
This will automatically be added to your recorded totals in the shoppe.
Congratulations, and keep up the good RP!
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Post by Vyn on Sept 27, 2007 15:53:29 GMT -5
For a long time, Ophelia just listened and absorbed his heavy words. Her expression was troubled but she remained calm and merely thoughtful. These were things he needed to say and, while she didn't want to pry, she also realized the necessity of letting these things off his chest.
"It's all right, Silvanus. I'm not going to force you to say anything if you're not ready nor willing to." As he doubled over into his tears, Ophelia shifted closer and put a consoling hand to his forearm. If only she knew the words which might console him for she would speak them in a heartbeat if she thought they were going to be of any help. "If you ever need to let these things out though, I'm willing to listen."
Ophelia was silently frustrated with her inability to help. She wanted to pry, to encourage him to loose his tongue and his secrets and unburden himself of whatever awful memory held him, but she had questioned whether or not these memories were his secrets for the express reason of not prying!
Shifting slightly, she remained openly sympathetic as she bit at her lip. If only she could express how badly she wanted to help and how willing she was to take the burden of whatever words he had for her ears. Silvanus was a good friend, he deserved a shoulder and Ophelia would never hesitate to give him one.
"I don't want to pry into your secrets, Silvanus... I can only imagine how many have tried, but I do want to help. In any way I can."
What more could she really say?
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