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Post by Kari Muffin on Nov 28, 2007 21:10:30 GMT -5
New clothing? That was something he hadn't thought of. He had been quite attached to the clothing Cassiel had made him, even if it was so tattered. As for the rest of it... well he always wore this clothing since as long as he could remember. However, new things wouldn't be all that bad. He was going to be a new person after all. Still...
"All right then," He smiled as he curled up besides her. He know full well that she was wet, and probably not as soft as she should have been. He didn't care. He liked being next to her. It was almost as if he could feel her again.
Kazifel hugged her closely. He wished he was warm for her sake more than his. "Thank you, Femi, for everything." He said, keeping his eyes away from looking into hers. He wasn't sure why, but he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing. It somehow just felt like he failed her.
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Post by The Jenn on Nov 28, 2007 21:41:44 GMT -5
Sighing happily, Femi settled on the soft covers and half-curled until he joined her, at which point she wrapped around him instead. At least he wouldn't feel her damp fur soaking through bits and pieces of his shirt and pants, so that was something she didn't have to feel at all guilty about. A warm body would have been nice, but a loved body was better by far. When he hugged her, she knew he meant it, and that warmed her to her fuzzy little bones. If her bones were fuzzy. Which she hoped they weren't.
She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again when he spoke and thanked her, turning to smile at him. He wouldn't look at her, though, like he normally would. She frowned a little. How silly. She wondered why.
"Everything I can give you, I'm going to try to," she murmured, frowning harder when he still wouldn't meet her eyes. Now what was that all about? "Why won't you look at me?" she asked, voice clearly laced with confusion.
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Post by Kari Muffin on Nov 28, 2007 21:52:30 GMT -5
Kazifel's eye twitched uncomfortably. How should he answer? How could he answer her properly. He let out a small whimper before shooting her a glance and closing his eyes. Snuggling closer was so very tempting. But he just couldn't at the moment. "I-I-I don't really know," he whimpered again, squeezing his eyes shut.
Why couldn't he just tell her that he felt worthless? He had failed her hadn't he? He couldn't be everything she wanted... but what did she really want? "I failed you, didn't I?" he found himself saying. He didn't want to say it out loud, it just came out that way. He held back another small whimper. He really was a horrible person. He couldn't even be what she wanted him to be, and she was his Queen.
Warm, he thought. Tears would have been warm wouldn't they? It had been so long since he had cried. He missed not being able to do something as simple as that. Hopeless. How very hopeless.
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Post by The Jenn on Nov 28, 2007 22:03:17 GMT -5
Femi's expression slipped from confused to worried when she heard that whimper and saw his eye twitch. He really did do that a lot when he was upset. He seemed to be upset a lot, too, for all that he would smile around her now and hug her and make her feel like she had someone who cared about her. Because she did. Her expression went to flat-out shocked when he asked her that question.
...what?!
"Failed... me?" she asked, so far beyond lost. "How did you possibly fail me? I- you- e-even when I accidentally broke my promise and we realized I'd been hurting you more all along by not treating you more like the person you are, you're still holding true to yours. You're still here. You still care about me. You're holding me, and that's more than anyone's ever done before, or more than I ever wanted anyone to do before."
She wiggled nervously and licked his cheek. Didn't he understand? "I've never been happy like I'm happy now. What makes you think you've failed anything? I mean, even if you think you failed yourself or something silly like that, I still wouldn't believe it. Because you're mine, my King, and I say you haven't. So... there."
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Post by Nathalia on Nov 28, 2007 22:25:27 GMT -5
((Both of you will receive a prize for posting so much X3 Though I will ask, would you prefer your prize now (the little red vial) or wait until December and get a new prize?))
~Nathalia
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Post by The Jenn on Nov 28, 2007 22:27:12 GMT -5
((Ah! December please. <3 Since it will certainly carry over into there. I think this is actually the longest RP thread to date now, since the Lowland one was only 135-ish.))
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Post by Kari Muffin on Nov 28, 2007 22:29:20 GMT -5
(( OOC: *hug for Nat and Jenn* XD you are THE awesome. ))
The man was surprised when she shifted her weight to lick him. He blinked as he watched her pull away a bit. He hadn't done anything wrong then? He hadn't upset her and he hadn't been bad? He blinked a few times more at her words.
"Then I guess I haven't," he said a bit unsure. He pulled himself closer to her for comfort. Something came to his head then, something that he needed to be said. Something that she might be able to answer. "What... what exactly does soft feel like?" He looked at her curiously. "I really can't remember."
Being honest was a start. He was embarrassed though, and probably would have blushed if he was capable. Feeling like a kid again was sometimes bad. It certainly made him feel silly to ask such a question. He remembered asking Cassiel as silly question once when they were kids, it didn't end very well. Femi, though... she was different.
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Post by The Jenn on Nov 30, 2007 18:31:57 GMT -5
Femi lay there against him, fur trying to dry and damp tail twitching, with her face the picture of puzzlement. How could she describe something like 'soft'? How did you describe a feeling without saying what it was? 'Oh, it's... just soft' wouldn't do. It was a real question and it deserved a real answer, especially because he was so unfortunate in being unable to detect the sensation himself.
"We~ell..." she began slowly, thinking about her words. "It's almost like a... safe feeling. For me, anyway. Soft things are like Daddy and Mother because their fur is so soft, and mine is too. It makes me happy, to feel soft things, like when I run my paw through your hair. It's the softest part of you. Almost makes me wish you had fur, even looking as pretty a human as you do." She smiled and put action to her words, her paws handling the strands with the utmost care. She didn't want to get them tangled.
How else to describe soft, though... "Soft usually 'gives' under my paw. It lets me press into it a little more, not hard like wood or porcelain. You can press into soft, and sometimes snuggle into it, a lot easier than you can into hard. I... like soft." She rested against him and looked curiously at his eyes. Did that answer his question?
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Post by Kari Muffin on Nov 30, 2007 18:46:59 GMT -5
If that was what soft was, was that what he was feeling right now? It sounded like it. When he stroked her fur he did feel safe. When he hugged her he felt safe. She must have been soft but he really couldn't tell if it was what he was actually feeling. Damnit. This was far too confusing.
Kazifel blinked a few times at the mention of not having fur. He really wanted his biped form back. Now not only for himself, but for her. To make her happy and feel how soft he actually was. "That... that makes sense." He said looking at her.
"You don't know what I look like besides this, do you? I'm a wolf." He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He just knew that was what he was, and he wouldn't change it for the world.
"But since I was born with a human form I didn't use my other forms unless I was dealing with... Mili." He hesitated to explain further but he had no real reason to hold back, did he? "Every since... I left Cassiel's lab I haven't been able to shift. Not even once."
Really, fate just liked throwing stones at him. If it wasn't one thing it was another. He sighed. Soft. It made him feel safe. Femi was soft and safe.
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Post by The Jenn on Nov 30, 2007 19:14:56 GMT -5
"A wolf?" she asked in surprise. Like Ghi? She really wouldn't have pegged him as very... wolf-like, at least not with her experience of wolves. They tended to be quite vicious in Tulgey. Then again, so did everyone in their own way. "Well then. I guess you're just my big snuggly puppy, even if I can't see your fur." She ducked her head and giggled into his chest, still petting his hair. It was just so perfect.
At his explanation, however, and the mention of That Name - one of the two she needed to keep her ears open for - she stopped and listened. Couldn't shift? That didn't quite make sense to her. "Maybe you can't shift in the same way that you can't feel, though, love. Maybe it's just something blocking you."
She had a sudden thought and raised her head in surprise. "If you used this form most often, around your sister and everyone else who... controlled you, I suppose. Who made you a doll. Maybe this is part of the reason you have trouble thinking 'person'? Humans are very different kinds of 'people' usually. It takes a lot to want a form like that, and a lot to get it, or so Vren told me." She sat up and stuck her nose in his face. "I'll bet that you'll be able to transform once you can feel again," she told him seriously. "I'll bet that once being a person starts to get through your head again, you'll be able to shift. Into a big, cuddly puppy. Um... even though I don't know what region you're from." She rapped on his forehead for emphasis.
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