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Post by Satra on Mar 11, 2009 0:47:36 GMT -5
It had been over a month now. Over a month after the second disappearance of her daughter. Heilyn's nerves were beginning to get the better of her. Not even Seth could calm her on some nights. He was so patient... she had to do something to make it up to him. There were times she couldn't think straight. Apparently because of the drama with Pravus, she'd skipped a dosage of her medication... Now she was out following what's-his-face with the gloomy aura, no weapon, and no medication. She took the tie out of her hair and set it on the table next to her pile of uncompleted paperwork so she could nervously play with her hair. She was also horrendously worried about Pale and made an effort to touch base with him as much as possible. However, with the increase of work she received from losing both Rhi and Lior, it was harder, even with the addition of Mephitisia. She'd implied to Pale she could use some company for her break from paperwork, but would he take her up on it? There had to be something more she could do. She couldn't bear to lose any member of her family. Her father's death had been expected, but it still hurt. And just as she was getting over him, she was losing Rhi... |
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Mar 11, 2009 1:02:01 GMT -5
He'd been asking for it, really. All the same, Apocalypse hadn't been entirely sure whether or not Allaster would have the balls to try and shut him up. He had certainly been surprised when the man had punched him in the face, hard enough to send him toppling off of the bench he'd been straddling. Maybe the mewling noises had been too much. Maybe. Probably. The thrusting was almost certainly too much. So were the comments he'd made afterward. The second punch might have been overkill, though. All the same, it seemed like a good idea to leave the reptile hybrid alone for a while, and... Heilyn seemed as good a person as any to spend time with. With any luck, he would manage to keep his transgression with Xiven quiet from her. When he reached the door, head in his hand to cover the bruise that was already forming over his eyesocket. When he pulled his hand away, he grinned slightly. The scratches from Xiven were still healing, and now his eye was swollen to the point he could barely see out of it. Good. Now maybe random people would leave him alone, he finally looked the way he felt. He gave Heilyn's door a precursory knock, then opened it, peeking in. His hair covered the shiner, but he wouldn't be able to hide it for long. " Your Highness?" he cleared his throat, suddenly feeling his high spirits evaporate. She did look so like her daughter, after all. He swallowed the emotions. " Is that lunch offer still up?" |
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Post by Satra on Mar 11, 2009 1:21:50 GMT -5
It killed her to see Pale's vitality so drained, but what else could she expect? He was even closer to Rhi than Heilyn was. Heilyn was her Mother, but Pale was a little piece of her soul. She smiled softly.
"Pale, you know you don't have to call me by my title. And of course. I have some light snacks on the table until food comes up. I have a servant who'll be here to take my order at any moment now," it had become a habit over the past month. She feared if she took a meal with other people present, she'd end up murdering someone. She even had Seth removed the children from her presence for reasons other than her meeting with the weapon.
"Anything you're partial to right now?" Heilyn didn't bother with the normal people pleasantry of "How are you doing?" she knew exactly what his condition was and saw no need to waste breath on it. That 'shadow' under his eye looked entirely too dark to be just a shadow. She sighed.
"Would you like the servant to bring up an ice pack for you as well?"
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Mar 11, 2009 1:30:52 GMT -5
The man glanced up at Heilyn, feeling a momentary pang of guilt. He was unable to deal with his own emotions, so he forced others to try and take care of them, and Heilyn was one of the people who was having to deal with a great deal of it. He shouldn't be acting this way...
But he didn't know how else to act. He was constantly torn between two extremes: Reading into as much of his summoner's mind as he possibly could and trying to ignore her. Both were painful, both twisted him horribly. All he could do was check in from time to time and try to ignore the emotions that both were and weren't his own. The hardest was trying to ignore the feelings of love that weren't directed towards him.
"I know. I just... you know. If I'm gonna be Rhi's steward or whatever I figure I should probably be respectful," he looked up at her, the impressive shiner fully exposed, along with the healing scratches on his cheek. Food.. he hadn't actually eaten anything since before his fling with Xiven, but no one needed to know about that. It made people uneasy that he only ate because he liked to do it. "I could go for steak, actually. But no ice. I like the sting."
Apocalypse sat in the chair that he knew was there for him, resting his arms on his legs and leaning onto them. He couldn't tell her why he liked the sting, it was some half-formed desire to try and force the woman's daughter to deal with his suffering.
It probably would have worked, had Rhiannon been on her meds and not half-crazy already with heartbreak.
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Post by Satra on Mar 11, 2009 1:57:37 GMT -5
Heilyn gave a light smirk and shook her head and sighed as Pale's newest coloration became fully exposed.
"It doesn't look much like you've been following that rule consistently, unless you slipped up sparring with your friend fro the guard," she teased him lightly. She'd been keeping tabs on him outside of what he told her in these sparse meetings and was aware of his behavior. Ohh, steak, that did sound excellent. And a knock on the door, what perfect timing. She went to answer it.
"Hmm, perfect. We'll be having two... no. One steak, please. Pale, rare?" she assume rare, but she didn't want to order in case he wasn't in the mood for the blood (which seemed a long shot, but might as well make him as comfortable as possible, right?). She gave the servant Pale's specification, "And I'll have a leg of lamb. Rare as is safe to eat it. No, no sides, just the meat. Much appreciated, now bring that as quickly as you can, we're cranky and hungry and might see fit to get our meat elsewhere," she winked and flashed some fang at the poor servant as she took away all restraint on her aura causing the lower-ranked woman to skitter as quickly as possible away.
"Pale, maybe I should take you hunting sometime. I feel sometimes it's too crowded in this place," she stated, shutting the door and placing herself in her seat.
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Mar 11, 2009 2:18:14 GMT -5
The man gave Heilyn an embarassed half-grin and shrugged, squaring his shoulders and leaning forward a little more, almost rocking forward and then back again. "You could say that." he replied simply, not quite wanting to elaborate yet. When the servant entered, he simply nodded his reply, keeping his gaze level on the man. Well. As much as that was possible. Allaster had quite a punch, didn't he? His eye was swollen completely shut now, so it was a one-eyed stare.
It was probably more intimidating. That was okay with him. It just ensured that the skittish-looking man wouldn't ask any stupid questions, or at least wouldn't when Apocalypse was close enough to hear them.
"That would be nice. I miss the Bog," he replied rather distantly, looking down at his hands, fingers moving across the lines. They'd hunted there, just Rhiannon, her sister, Heilyn, and himself. No irritating servants, no stares in the hallways. No whisperings about his mental state.
Slowly, he looked up at Heilyn again, a fine tremor going through him. "I don't know what to fucking do with myself anymore," he said, not fully in control of his words. They just came out all of a sudden, deep cracks forming from a weak point in a dam that had been sturdy for... well. For a month. The night with Xiven had started the break. This would just be the end of it. "I feel.. I feel like I'm not in control of anything."
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Post by Satra on Mar 11, 2009 2:44:48 GMT -5
Heilyn nodded.
"As do I," she said in a fairly solemn voice. She'd been unable to attend her own father's funeral due to the drama involving Se. Fearing for her family, she couldn't leave... she should probably visit his grave sometime soon. She didn't let herself get caught up in her thoughts, though. She couldn't. Pale was not one to fidget. It unnerved her. Was he finally snapping?
Then he looked up at her and spoke in that breaking voice. Her brow furrowed with concern. She got up from her own seat and walked toward him. She sat on the arm of the chair he was in and gently ran her fingers through his hair.
"You never were in full control, Apocalypse. You're a weapon," she stated softly. She bent down to kiss the top of his head, her hand lingering at the back of his neck. "You're also a guardian of sorts. Rhiannon still needs you, she just doesn't know it yet." Heilyn bit the inside of her bottom lip. The stupid girl. One of her hands reached out to squeeze one of his.
Helplessness and Worthlessness are the worst feelings anyone of the Bog mindset can feel. She knew full well.
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Mar 11, 2009 2:54:59 GMT -5
When Heilyn approached, Apocalypse stared up at her, blinking in surprise as she sat beside him. Then she was running her fingers through his hair. He sat perfectly still for a long minute, running the scenario over in his head again and again. Should he be worried? Was she going somewhere with this? No... that wouldn't make sense. He was her daughter's weapon, after all. This wasn't a sexual advance. This was comforting, something to settle his raging emotions, give him some kind of lifeline to another person. Someone who was suffering, like he was. This... this was what she would do for one of her own children.
Slowly, he turned towards her, curling in his seat and laying his head in her lap as best he could, folding his body into an almost fetal position. The eye that wasn't swollen shut stared straight ahead and he tried to focus on the feeling of his hair being stroked.
He'd always liked that. He also liked hearing her call him by his real name. It somehow gave more weight to her words.
"I know that," he replied, shaking his head slowly. He opened his hand, letting her take it, folding his fingers around her much smaller digits. "I've always known that. And I know she still needs me. I can feel it sometimes. But I'm out of control even for me."
He slowly raised his head to look up at her, swollen eye cracking open slightly and searching for something before he looked down.
"I... I fucked Xiven." The words were harsh, but it was the only way he could describe what they'd done. The anger, the pain, the breakdown that followed... there'd been nothing romantic about it, nothing gentle. The admittance was bitter on his tongue, a secret he'd wanted to keep. Rhiannon would know. She was too crazy to care, though, so she wouldn't be upset with him. He swallowed hard, mentally bracing himself for another slap. "When I remembered it wasn't her, I... I lost myself. I was just.. so mad at her, always saying that Rhi never loved her."
His tone was bitter, and he almost spat the words out. If it was true, he'd have been a much happier man.
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Post by Satra on Mar 11, 2009 16:13:28 GMT -5
It would be a lie if Heilyn were to say she never had a sexual thought about Pale. He was just too gorgeous to ignore. It was almost hard to believe his sandy hair belonged to a Bog Dweller, though it could be a variation on the Bog yellow. And that skin. Personally, Heilyn found all skin types attractive, but there was something about that near-glowing effect that just delighted her. Such a pretty thing. She continued running her black gloved fingers through his hair. It seemed to be calming him.
He had her full attention as he spoke. When he opened his hand, she slipped hers in, slowly and gently rubbing the back of his hand. She knew exactly how he felt. She was about to say something, but promptly closed her mouth. It looked like he had something else to say. She would let him have his piece.
She blinked twice in almost disbelief. He did... what now? Then more words came out with seemingly little intention. That tone of voice he used when he spoke of Xiven's doubts of Rhiannon's love. Hmm.
"Apocalypse," she said in almost a whisper. The hand in his hair came down to gently rub the back of its fingers on his cheek. "Don't be ashamed. People do things that are sometimes not the wisest when they're in grief. You're going through a lot right now. So long as she was willing, too, amends can be made for it."
She decided to approach the topic slowly. The last thing he needed was to be overwhelmed for the sake of her own curiosity.
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Mar 12, 2009 1:33:57 GMT -5
The man stared straight ahead. Whatever was going through his mind as Heilyn comforted was entirely contained by his stoic face, at least for the time being. His hand tightened around Heilyn's for a brief moment, squeezing a little harder than he might have done normally. He was waiting for the other foot to fall, to be kicked out of her room in disgrace for acting the part of a fool. He almost wanted her to, if her presence wasn't so comforting. After all, he knew what to do if he was embarassed.
This horrible empty feeling was something he couldn't deal with, didn't know how to face.
Honestly, he wasn't sure if he could face it.
He shifted slightly as her hand went to his cheek, leaning his face in it and staring rather pointedly at the floor. "She was," he replied shortly, voice clipped. "I'm not a rapist..." after all, he'd been born of the Bog mindset, and that was a cardinal sin. He would never dream of raping someone. Even if he had been a bit... forceful. He raised his head, running a finger along the scratches on his cheek and grinning at her. "And you should look at my back..."
His normal giddiness bubbled away again, as quickly as it had shown itself, and his face screwed up into a rather severe frown. "I just don't fucking know what to do with myself anymore."
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