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Post by Kari Muffin on Jul 31, 2009 23:00:20 GMT -5
Her tears didn't stop. No matter how much Xiven wanted them to. The soft tone and the kiss almost made them stop. It was a comfort and a reminder of something she had lost. Something she had truly missed and couldn't be replaced.
And there she went. Taking the rug from under her feet. Xiven swallowed hard as she listened to Rhi's words. She made not sound of protest. It wouldn't help. Though she had been the one to take Rhi for granted. She had constantly doubted the woman's love... and then she left only to "prove" the doubt "correct."
Xiven's hand twitched involuntarily when it was placed on Rhi's chest. The lack of the heart beat. The lack of the symbol and rank. It was all wrong. Rhi wasn't really alive, but she was really here. She wasn't lost yet.
The tears stopped even when the burning persisted.
"Shut up, Rhi," she said flatly. "Don't talk to me about not deserving to be my lover. I was always the one who doubted your love for me. I was always the one who had self doubt. I was the idiot. So please don't say you don't deserve to love me because some stupid shit happened. I loved you. I love you. And I will always love you. It doesn't matter what you do or how horrible it is. In the end I'll still love you."
She leaned forward, and kissed the other woman lightly on the forehead. "I was so very selfish--I still am. I was never able to tell you the truth. How much I hated myself for not being good enough for anyone. You. My father. But I realized when it was too late that I should have had more faith in myself. If I had I wouldn't have lost you. And damn it Rhi, I don't want to lose you again. Not when you're right here in front of me. You may not be my King anymore, but you are Rhiannon. And there is no replacement. Pale maybe my King but he's not... you. I love him, but not the same way I love you. You're different people and I love you both. So Please, Rhi, please understand it's not a matter of deserving. But if you don't want to have me anymore, that's fine. I understand. I just don't want you to think like that. I don't want you to become as broken as I am."
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Aug 1, 2009 0:05:55 GMT -5
The twitch as Xiven felt exactly what Rhiannon knew she would feel was telling enough. There was a reason that at nighttime she preferred to stay on the other plane, surrounded only in her comforting blanket of darkness, with Apocalypse's mind a secure tether that told her she was still there, still alive. The one night she'd attempted to curl at the foot of his bed and rest, she'd been kept active buy the lack of noise - where was the soothing heartbeat in her head, the sound of blood rushing through her veins? She didn't even need to breathe anymore. The whole situation just felt unnatural.
Why would Xiven feel differently? It was just different with Apocalypse. He'd always been that way, whereas Rhiannon had always been alive. They were both adjusting slowly to their new roles in life, but in some ways... They were both happy with it.
Then Xiven was speaking, and there was nothing Rhiannon could do but look up at the feline, her lips parted slightly as the words washed over her. The scythe's head spun as she did her best to keep up, but she was having difficulty comprehending. Here was someone who not only didn't care that she had no heartbeat, but wanted her in her life regardless of the stunts she'd pulled in the past. When Xiven kissed her forehead, Rhiannon let out a quiet gasp, and wrapped her arms around the woman.
"I... Xiven, I just... don't want to hurt you again.[/b]" she whispered, her face buried in the feline's long hair. Her hold on the Queen tightened as she made herself take another deep breath. "I'll... It's my job to be there when Pale needs me. That's what I am now. But... It'd be my joy to be there when you need me. As often as I can manage.[/b]"
Which wouldn't be nearly often enough, but Rhiannon couldn't see it any other way. As much as Xiven wanted to keep her from breaking, the woman had already shattered.
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Post by Kari Muffin on Aug 1, 2009 0:44:41 GMT -5
She should have known better. Why did she want such a toxic relationship when she knew it would just burn her in the end? Why did she have the need to love someone that truly hurt her? When had she become so forgiving all things considered?
It didn't really matter when Rhi hugged her close. It was nice to hear that she didn't want to hurt her again, but it wasn't all that nice to hear the truth. Thing would never be the same though. She knew that. She always knew that. And yet... "It's doesn't matter if you'll hurt me again. I'll get hurt anyway looking for love in other places. But I'll always get up again. So don't worry about me. Just... don't leave me in the dark anymore. I know you're his and he's yours but please don't forget that.... I want to be here for you. Both of you are very dear to me no matter how much you hurt me. You're family."
She hugged the woman tightly. "I'm sorry if that was too forward of me."
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Aug 1, 2009 1:31:05 GMT -5
That... stung. Rhiannon felt the prickling in the back of her neck, felt the sting of tears, as she looked over Xiven's shoulder and at Apocalypse's prone form. He looked so peaceful now, even covered in bandages and mostly-dried blood, that she found it hard to believe exactly how much he was capable of hurting. Her grip on Xiven tightened subconsciously.
"Actually, I... I mean, he... He broke up with me. So I'm his, but... not in the way I used to be.[/b]" she laughed. She had to laugh, the whole situation was so incredibly messed up. Apocalypse was, in some ways, her ideal man - Bog, albino, and utterly gorgeous. She'd imagined him as she needed him to be, and there he was. But he'd told her that enough was enough. "F-for the right reasons, actually. I... was too afraid to talk to you, and I just assumed that he'd still have me. I always took his affection for granted and now I don't really have it anymore.[/b]"
But then, she'd never actually loved the man. Not like he loved her, not in the slightest. Even now, she felt guilt. But how could she love him, when she was split in two by her other loves?
"So now you're all I have, at least in that regard.[/b]" a small, dry smile twisted at Rhiannon's cheek as she said it. It seemed... odd. She managed to laugh, however. "Though... if you still wanted a Rhi-Pale sandwich, I can't imagine he'd say no... Once he's allowed to move again, that is.[/b]"
((Haaaaaah icon love XD))
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Post by Kari Muffin on Aug 1, 2009 2:04:30 GMT -5
She wasn't just slightly surprised. Shocked would be the proper term. Pale wouldn't... had she hurt him that badly? And why the hell didn't she notice? Or had she just ignored it? Xiven gave a small sigh, she wasn't quite sure if it was out of relief or something else entirely. She homed for the latter.
Why was love so damned difficult? The embrace, though, made things easier. Explaining things just worked better. Even if Rhi didn't have a heart beat she still had a heart. A broken one, but it was still there. "He's just hurt. I'd consider it natural."
She gave a brief squeeze. What Rhi said next did make her chuckle. "It might be a good idea to bribe him with it. That way he'd be a bit more bearable with the recovery. The doctor said it was going to take a while for his rib to heal anyway."
That reminded her. She hadn't asked. She had been too worried, but now things were a bit more clear she could at least think about it. "By... the way. What the hell happened? Who on in the name of the Highland Hills did this to him?"
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Aug 1, 2009 20:55:27 GMT -5
In all likelyhood, Xiven was entirely correct. He was just hurt. But it was more than just hurt, it was emotional and awkward and Apocalypse had never been good with things other than "horny", "cheerful", or "angry". Heartbroken didn't fit in with his everyday behavior, so he'd removed the thing that caused him the upset. She knew - how could she not, she knew almost everything about him - that he still hurt when he looked at her, hurt because he knew she didn't love him, not like he loved her. She didn't even love him like Xiven loved him.
She couldn't help but feel guilty. After all, she did like him, and she liked to see him happy.
Xiven's laughter helped to brighten her mood, however, and she scratched the back of her head before glancing back at the man. "We've just got to be careful with that,[/b]" she said after a moment's consideration. Then she looked back at the Queen. "We promise that too early on and we'll have him using... his pain-ignore ability just to get us in bed with him.[/b]" It pained her oddly to say that. After all, it had once been her ability.
The question was an expected one, but Rhiannon cringed anyway. "He... Don't think he's crazy, I saw it too... He saw something he shouldn't have seen.[/b]" that seemed to her to be the best lead-in, giving away just enough for the time being. After all, it was completely true. "He saw a Joker change shapes.[/b]" And she wouldn't tell Xiven, but the pair knew what Jokers looked like, and knew what they could do.
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Post by Kari Muffin on Aug 1, 2009 21:23:15 GMT -5
She grinned at the thought of a beat up Pale having sex with his pain ability. It just didn't seem like a fitting image.
What Rhi said next made Xiven blink. She tilted her head as she struggled to process the information. A Joker? How many times had she been told that bed time story? How many times had her mother told her it was just a dream made up by storytellers? Countless. And she had mostly believed... people who weren't her mother. That woman made her doubt quite a few things.
But this was pretty unbelievable.
But it wasn't like Rhi would lie to her.
And someone had done a number on Pale.
"Are you... pulling my leg?" She had to ask. Just to make sure. Her face was one of pure confusion. "I mean... it's impossible for something like that to exist... right?"
She flashed back to one of her mother's rants about not believing everything you hear. She had plainly that various things in life were simply limitations set by society. Nothing was impossible. Her mother had kindly pointed out that the gold mark on her back was something "impossible." So Jokers could be real? That didn't seem likely. But... if anything was possible than it was possible and why the hell would Rhi lie? She wouldn't.
"I mean... I believe you but.... how can something like that exist? How did you happen to run into it? What did it look like?"
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Aug 2, 2009 12:51:48 GMT -5
There were a lot of expressions of disbelief going across Xiven's face. As she watched the play of emotions, Rhiannon bit her lip anxiously. There were a lot of things that could come out in this conversation, things that the weapon would really prefer continued to go unsaid. A weak smile went across her face when Xiven spoke again and she slowly shook her head.
"Not pulling your leg in the slightest. I mean, what else could have thrashed a man like that so thoroughly?[/b]" Rhiannon didn't feel like mentioning the fact that he hadn't fought nearly as well as he should have. That would stick between them, and she knew that Apocalypse would be working hard to adjust to the way things had changed. "I'd always thought so too, but..." Then I gave birth to one and another beat the shit out of Pale in an alley.
She shook herself slightly. This whole event was bringing back an array of unpleasant memories. From Apocalypse using the pain-ignore to fight for longer and getting hurt even worse for it, to the sight of one body melding into another... It was a good thing that breathing wasn't an issue for her anymore, or else she might have hyperventalated.
"It looked... Like anyone. When we first saw it it was a human, looked like a Hisstor, then it was a Highland wolf... Throughout the fight it just kept changing shape, eagle, ferret...[/b]" She shook her head. That was where the danger came in. How could the man fight an enemy who kept changing like that? "He just was unlucky, like I said. He walked by when the Joker was changing shape and saw it happen.[/b]"
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Post by Kari Muffin on Aug 3, 2009 13:45:01 GMT -5
Xiven's eyes widened a bit. A Hisstor? What was a rare region like that doing in the Highlands? She could feel a bitter taste in her mouth. The Joker could have been anyone or there for any reason. It could have killed Pale... but why didn't it? Did it think no one would believe him?
"A Hisstor. That seems like an odd realm to be in the Highlands. Maybe it was hiding it's identity to begin with? Either way... I'm happy the both of you are safe now." And yet she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if they could have captured it. Or even convinced it that they weren't going to harm it. Something like a Joker would have been useful....
She mentally slapped herself. What the hell was she thinking?
"Dear suits. Something like that... exists and it could have..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She gave the woman another tight embrace. Thank the Suits and all the stars in the sky that they were safe.
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Post by carcinoGeneticist on Aug 3, 2009 21:26:12 GMT -5
All she could say in response to that was to shrug, shaking her head slowly and thoughtfully. She hadn't known what he was doing in the Highlands, but... She supposed that when you could be anything or anyone you wanted, the boundaries of region mattered much less than they otherwise might. The look that crossed Xiven's face was a curious one, and she blinked at her, but before she could ask the Queen seemed to shake herself out of it.
Whatever the woman was thinking, Rhiannon was fairly certain she didn't want to know. Jokers were a delicate subject for the coyote-bat.
Then, Xiven's face fell and Rhiannon moved forward quickly, wrapping her arms around the woman. "It could have killed him.[/b]" she said softly, sighing deeply as she did. It was true. Apocalypse... Fighting against something like that? How could anyone fight a Joker? "He's a lucky fuck, I'll give him that much.[/b]"
Then she pulled away from Xiven, a small smile on her lips.
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