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Post by Vyn on Sept 7, 2008 20:12:55 GMT -5
The canine smiled very weakly when Acheron spoke up, his eyes looking positively heartbroken at the sight of his lover's distress. One day he would hunt that bastard of a deer down and finish what he'd started on the night he'd caught that sick Lowlander mauling his lover.
"Go rest, love. I won't be too long and then I'll be up with you again." He rubbed the antelope's ears lightly and assisted him off the couch before watching him ease himself away.
Only once Acheron had hobbled his way upstairs to their bedroom again, did Anatolius return his attention to the demure rat/mix. A smile touched his muzzle and he returned to flop down beside him this time. His tail gave an encouraging thump.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me, Tavor?"
When he finally took the time to truly study Tavor's expression, Anatolius felt his stomach clench in a knot and thought once again of what could be so bad that Acheron was not supposed to hear.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 7, 2008 20:28:48 GMT -5
He was so fixed on his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed when the canine came to sit near him, but he did notice when he spoke and he nearly jumped out of his seat with an alarmed squeak before he laughed at his own twitchyness before attempting to give the wolf a reassuring look ... which seemed to fail miserably. He looked from the canine to the stairs, rounded ears perked forward fully and twitching ever so slightly to make sure the antelope truly was gone to rest, and then he flicked them backward and peered up at the wolf.
Suits this was even worse with the man so close to him and he felt his pulse quicken with nerves ... really, this shouldn't be so hard ...
T-there's not really ... any other way to do this ... b-but outright ...
He took a deep breath and fanned his tail feathers before averting his gaze for a moment, managing to get everything out in a rush with no stutters even though it made his fur bristle to do so.
you have children Anatolius... with me.
Shyly he peered up at the wolf to see his expression and to try and gage the man's reaction to the news. He hoped the wolf would be happy, to some level, but he didn't know .... it was a terribly... complicated thing after all ... but definitely nothing bad like his trip to the Lowlands. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 7, 2008 21:28:28 GMT -5
Acheron excepted the help the wolf gave him without so much as a sound. He might have thanked the wolf, except for the nausious feeling that currently was dominating his stomach and senses. He even seemed to move slower then usual, as the sickening feeling took over. He knew the moment he got up there he was going to vomit in the toliet, the sensation was far to strong not to have it eventually happen. It was just a matter of time. He began climbing the stairs, his hooves clanking heavily against the stairs, the chain dragging behind him. It was a noisy moment before Acheron finally reached the top of the stairs, and he rested for a moment.
He couldn't help but be curious about what it was that the rat was going to say to An. It seemed...important, and nerve wrecking. Normally the antelope was not one to eavesdrop on things that were not his business, but well...he was a bit worried. After the rat mentioned the stag...well...not only had he felt like vomiting right then and there...but maybe what the rat had to say had something to do with the lowlander. Why else would he be sent out of the room? His ears perked forward quietly, scared about what he might hear, but beyond his nerves curiousity drove him on...
No...
Acheron stood where he was. He had no thoughts...no images flying through his head. Just darkness and silence.
The silence was finally broken by the sound of him wretching, and the feeling of his insides being absolutely and compeltely torn apart. He vomitted were he stood, the noise simply deafening. His eyes watered, his body shook, and he could smell and taste bile. Below him...he could see the mess on the floor. But he didn't know what to do. His mind was still divode of thought. He just stood there...looking at his own sick.
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Post by Vyn on Sept 7, 2008 21:57:34 GMT -5
The canine didn't expect that.
Not at all.
His body went absolutely rigid, eyes widening with curiosity. He had...kids?! No, no... That wasn't right. He wasn't ready to be a dad and... his thoughts were pulled to a sudden halt by the abrupt sound of Acheron wretching upstairs. Oh suits, oh fuck.
This wasn't right. He should've been happy, he loved kids, but Acher... His Acher... The only person he'd ever wanted to have his children was Acher. "Oh Suits..." He repeated alloud, eyes wide. "Acher... I have to go take care of Acher, on moment T-Tavor."
Anatolius was thankful for his thick fur, thankful that it hid just how very pale he really was beneath that brilliant red fur. The sound of puking was too close... Acher wasn't in the bedroom, he was at the top of the stairs. Toli knew that even before he rounded the corner to rush up them and he found his lover exactly where he expected him to be. Oh suits.
Oh suits there was no fixing this.
"Acher... C-Come on, love. Let's get you cleaned up." A thin whine escaped his tightly pressed maw. "Are you alright?"
Acher first, then he'd deal with Tavor... With... With the prospect of kids.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 7, 2008 22:11:10 GMT -5
Acheron stood like a statue where he was. His legs seemed locked where he was, the world around him slowly disappearing, his vision growing blurry. It was as if he had been smacked so hard...he had no idea what was going on. When the sunset wolf came to his side he stared blankly at the creature, as if he couldn't recognize him for half a moment. He couldn't hear, couldn't smell, couldn't feel, but that might have been the side effects of throwing up. He looked back down at his sick and realized what just happened, "Oh..." he stated, his words eerily detatched.
He looked up at the wolf, his eyes were watering, small tears falling slowly. He didn't even seem to realize that he was crying. It was easy to see...that Acheron had been rocked to his core by the news. He didn't know what to do...what to think. "I don't know." he said honestly, because he really truely didn't. His words were distant yet again, even in his head, he only managed to process that he had said anything, minutes after saying it. He allowed himself to be ushered into the bathroom, his movements painfully mechanical.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 7, 2008 22:19:41 GMT -5
His ears pulled even further back against his skull at the canine's reaction, not really good, not as bad as he'd expected but definitely not relieving in the slight bit. And then there was that awful sound, one that made him feel sick himself for a myriad of reasons. Suits the Antelope ... had been listening hadn't he? He looked back up at Toli for confirmation and the canine's reaction spoke volumes before he even got up and went up stairs... or spoke even. Suits again ... he'd tried so hard to avoid this and yet ... it still happened.
He was .... a horrible, horrible person wasn't he?
The thought honestly made him want to cry right then and there but he resisted the urge to do so in favor of shifting down to his animal form, ducking under his cloak and curling up into a tight little ball of terribly depressed rat/eagle. But he couldn't leave .... no ... Anatolius said he'd be back and ... leaving would be rude and, at this point, it wouldn't help the situation at all. Damn. |
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Post by Vyn on Sept 7, 2008 22:54:28 GMT -5
Anatolius felt like he was weighed down by a ton of lead. By Acheron's silver bindings. By the weight of the world.
He moved his lover from the mess at the top of the stairs to the bathroom without a word, his whole frame trembling something awful. All the while his thoughts churned and darkened and redoubled upon themselves in a mantra of self-loathing.
It wasn't the thought of the buck which made Acheron sick, it was what Tavor had said.
Anatolius wasn't sure if he was crying or sweating bullets, or perhaps both, but he managed to start a shower and pull his lover into the water before tears really started flowing. At least there wouldn't be any evidence of his despair with the water pouring down over his face.
"I..." What did he say? Did he presume Acheron heard? Did he risk telling him if that wasn't the case. "Did you hear what Tavor said down there?" The words fell trembling from his muzzle, and only then did Toli realize the shower was just as much for him as it was to clean his lover. "I'm sorry, so sorry..." Acheron was his true love, the one he would always come home too... An knew this, An had always known this, but he also knew that Acheron did not. Could not.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 8, 2008 11:14:32 GMT -5
Acheron waited outside the shower while Anatolius prepared the water. Somehow he managed to look absolutely dead. He didn't even seem to be breathing...and the likelihood of him holding his breath was high. He seemed more gaunt, more fragile all of a sudden. Even his eyes, which usually sparkled with mischieve had their light completely snuffed out. His mind could hardly comprehend what he had heard. He kept cycling it in his head. Anatolius had children...with...Tavor. He wanted to feel something...anything...other then the deadness that was eatting him alive.
He hardly noticed when he was pulled into the shower with the wolf, his legs moving before his brain really had time to register that was what was happening. The water was warm against the cold of his body, and finally...he began to feel less dead. Water always seemed to help. He didn't answer the wolfs question, he simply nodded. What was there to be said? So much...really...so much there was to be said...but Acheron really couldn't find the place to begin. He was beginning to wish he felt dead, as the water woke him up and into a world of pain that held his heart in a vice like grip. It was more painful then when he had his chain ripped out of his mouth...so much more painful...that he wondered if the silver chains dangling from him were even his real bindings. He had binded himself to Anatolius...and well...this was the real curse it seemed.
Acheron's eyes began watering, hidden nicely by the water as he ran down his face. "Why...this is a happy time." he said, his voice unwavering, and still distant if not completely. It was the only thing he could think to say...and even it seemed wrong in his mouth. "Go down to him...I'll be fine...tell him I didn't make it to the bathroom..." he didn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. They sounded like another language...like jibberish. He needed to get his head straight...
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Post by Vyn on Sept 8, 2008 11:28:03 GMT -5
The canine's long arms were wrapped around his lover's body, forehead pressed to Acheron's own. The thought of kids should have been a happy occasion, in a way they were, but Toli simply couldn't feel any joy when Acheron looked so...gone. How royally had he screwed up this time? Had he lost his lover?
Why was it that the only words that wanted to come to his lips were please forgive me? Don't hate me. He would've said anything then, if he thought it meant that he would not lose everything he'd worked to stabilize between himself and his lover.
"Oh Acher..." He let out a small, miserable little moan. No words managed to find his lips for a long time and when they did they still felt wrong. "Do you forgive me?" He honestly doubted he could say anything at all to make the moment better, but he simply couldn't sit there in silence.
He had to clean up the mess on the floor but he couldn't seem to release Acher.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 8, 2008 12:58:44 GMT -5
Such intimate touching felt wrong for the first time. For the first time...he felt panicy under the wolf's touch. For the first time, he really didn't want it. It stung like the fire he so skillfully used. Burned him like acid. He flinched slightly, but felt it cruel to rip himself entirely from Anatolius' grip. More then ever he had wished the shock had not gone away. He wanted to be dead again. He didn't want to think about this right now, he didn't want to hurt Anatolius. After all...hadn't he expected this? His loved a whore...and there was risk involved with that which he had been willing to go along with. This was bound to happen eventualy. Why was he so suprised...?
The truth of the matter was, and what he quickly realized...was that he had never actually been ok with Anatolius' lifestyle. The few occations when he had walked in on Anatolius, or the time Viviane came over, he had never been ok with that. He had always just put up a front...because...he loved Anatolius enough that he would suffer through it...in hopes that...maybe...just maybe...Anatolius would love him as completely as he did for the wolf. Having children, he realized....he was also not ok with...but...it would never stop. There would always be shocking things with Anatolius. Always another new thing to be hurt by and stomach.
He realized that Anatolius couldn't actually love him. Not the way that he wanted. Tears streamed down his face as they mixed with the water from the shower. He remembered back to their first shower, and his chest seezed up. What a fool he had been. Anatolius was kind hearted...he had only really taken him in because he was homeless. Acheron was more of a project then anything.
He couldn't say a word to the wolf....he couldn't answer his question. Not aloud. No...he couldn't forgive him...but it was no ones fault but his own for lying to himself. He said nothing, simply allowing to be held in the water, his whole body tense. He wanted to vomit again...
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