Post by Kari Muffin on Jul 4, 2009 20:41:38 GMT -5
Characters: The Kami Family
Word Count: 1006
Broken
It was breaking. The cracks were clearly visible and there was no way he could fix them.
Kazifel went back to sanding the face of the doll. Someone had requested a custom order of a Tulgey-Torquehelm and he had fallen behind. It was harder and harder to fill the pantry properly. Harder and harder to keep going and acting normal. However there was no going back.
Home.
No this was home. This was where Femi was. This was where his life had been saved and he had become human once again.
But he was still a broken doll.
The thought lingered as he put the sandpaper down. What was he supposed to do next? The primer. He had to put the primer on. He looked over to his supplies, pulling the can off the shelf. He cursed. He had run out of primer two days ago, that's why he had put off the order.
This was like that time so many years ago where he had forgotten to get supper for Cassiel. She hadn't eaten for three days and ended up passing out.
Cassiel had been his everything once. And then... he lost her. He lost her just like he lost everything precious in his life. And it was his fault that his son was dead, wasn't it? He hadn't been able to protect him. To help him. He couldn't save him. What had his son gone up against to do that to him? And worse yet what they had buried was gone now. He had nothing left of his beloved son... just like he had nothing left of his Cassiel. His beautiful sister that he had failed so miserably.
And now he was failing his beautiful wife.
Why did he always fail?
"Cassiel..." he muttered. He had loved her so much. He had become a monster for her. Something that no one could love. She died. He was lost. Broken. And then he met Femi. Everything had turned out right. They had children. They loved each other. And then it all came crashing down.
Bitterness welled up inside of him. What had he become? What sort of monster was he to be able to pretend things were fine between the family. He couldn't talk to Rosemary. He couldn't talk to any of his children. They were too busy having lives while he was stuck here with his broken wife.
Snap!
He jumped at the sound. Looking down at his hand he noticed what he had been clutching. One of the dolls that he had been working so hard on for Sage. He winced when he realized the splinters of ceramic had dug itself into his hand. "Damn it," he growled as the blood flowed freely.
He hurried out of his workshop to get bandages, the rage still bubbled up inside of him as he stormed through the house. At least Femi was busy playing with her dolls. That way she wouldn't bother him. He could deal with one thing at a time. It took a moment of shuffling through medicine closet to find the bandages and the manicure kit that Rosemary had brought with her from one of her trips. It was the only pair of tweezers in the house that weren't industrial, and it would take a while for him to take out the tiny pieces of porcelain out of his hand.
He ended up sitting in the living room, picking out the tiny pieces that had buried themselves snugly in his trembling hand. Each piece pulled made the bleeding worse. He winced uncomfortably. Breaking. Everything was breaking and he couldn't do a damn thing to piece it back together. He was a doll maker and he couldn't even make a proper doll for his daughter. When had he become such a pitiful man? He had been strong enough to kill his own father and now he was nothing but an outcast in his own home. His wife probably wouldn't have noticed if he disappeared.
He stared at the last shard in his hand. It was larger than the rest as it dug into his pawn. In one quick motion he tore it out, a yelp followed. Pitiful. He grabbed the bandages and slowly wrapped them around. He was supposed to was them out but... he'd deal with it later. For now it had to wait. He was supposed to start dinner soon. Femi hadn't been eating properly in the first place so he had to keep everything on a schedule. Otherwise things just got more complicated.
With a heavy sigh he went to the kitchen. He paused, however, when he passed the front door. One day Rosemary was going to walk through that door and he wouldn't be able to explain what had happened. She was the only one who still cared. None of his children ever came to visit besides her. She shared stories, she kept them updated, and now she hadn't walked through that door since the day of her brother's death. What... what he going to say to her? What could he say? How could he tell her that he had been a failure?
Femi would never be back to normal. Alphonse would never come home. Rosemary would never come to visit with a smile on her face.
The cracks just grew bigger.
He could never go back to Corvistowne. He could never see his sister again. He could never...
"Kazifel?"
His head snapped around to look at the source of the voice, eyes hopeful.
But... Femi. He had to remind himself it was one of her bad days. She wasn't going to ask about how Rosemary was, or if Parsley was going to come home. She would never ask about them again. She normally didn't remember.
"I was just going to fix dinner. Your favorite kind of pancakes."
He could feel the tears in his eyes as he turned away.He couldn't break again. Not yet. Femi still needed him. He still had to take care of her... after all she was his princess. She had saved him. She was his everything. She was his Queen. His everything.
And yet everything still felt so empty.
Word Count: 1006
Broken
It was breaking. The cracks were clearly visible and there was no way he could fix them.
Kazifel went back to sanding the face of the doll. Someone had requested a custom order of a Tulgey-Torquehelm and he had fallen behind. It was harder and harder to fill the pantry properly. Harder and harder to keep going and acting normal. However there was no going back.
Home.
No this was home. This was where Femi was. This was where his life had been saved and he had become human once again.
But he was still a broken doll.
The thought lingered as he put the sandpaper down. What was he supposed to do next? The primer. He had to put the primer on. He looked over to his supplies, pulling the can off the shelf. He cursed. He had run out of primer two days ago, that's why he had put off the order.
This was like that time so many years ago where he had forgotten to get supper for Cassiel. She hadn't eaten for three days and ended up passing out.
Cassiel had been his everything once. And then... he lost her. He lost her just like he lost everything precious in his life. And it was his fault that his son was dead, wasn't it? He hadn't been able to protect him. To help him. He couldn't save him. What had his son gone up against to do that to him? And worse yet what they had buried was gone now. He had nothing left of his beloved son... just like he had nothing left of his Cassiel. His beautiful sister that he had failed so miserably.
And now he was failing his beautiful wife.
Why did he always fail?
"Cassiel..." he muttered. He had loved her so much. He had become a monster for her. Something that no one could love. She died. He was lost. Broken. And then he met Femi. Everything had turned out right. They had children. They loved each other. And then it all came crashing down.
Bitterness welled up inside of him. What had he become? What sort of monster was he to be able to pretend things were fine between the family. He couldn't talk to Rosemary. He couldn't talk to any of his children. They were too busy having lives while he was stuck here with his broken wife.
Snap!
He jumped at the sound. Looking down at his hand he noticed what he had been clutching. One of the dolls that he had been working so hard on for Sage. He winced when he realized the splinters of ceramic had dug itself into his hand. "Damn it," he growled as the blood flowed freely.
He hurried out of his workshop to get bandages, the rage still bubbled up inside of him as he stormed through the house. At least Femi was busy playing with her dolls. That way she wouldn't bother him. He could deal with one thing at a time. It took a moment of shuffling through medicine closet to find the bandages and the manicure kit that Rosemary had brought with her from one of her trips. It was the only pair of tweezers in the house that weren't industrial, and it would take a while for him to take out the tiny pieces of porcelain out of his hand.
He ended up sitting in the living room, picking out the tiny pieces that had buried themselves snugly in his trembling hand. Each piece pulled made the bleeding worse. He winced uncomfortably. Breaking. Everything was breaking and he couldn't do a damn thing to piece it back together. He was a doll maker and he couldn't even make a proper doll for his daughter. When had he become such a pitiful man? He had been strong enough to kill his own father and now he was nothing but an outcast in his own home. His wife probably wouldn't have noticed if he disappeared.
He stared at the last shard in his hand. It was larger than the rest as it dug into his pawn. In one quick motion he tore it out, a yelp followed. Pitiful. He grabbed the bandages and slowly wrapped them around. He was supposed to was them out but... he'd deal with it later. For now it had to wait. He was supposed to start dinner soon. Femi hadn't been eating properly in the first place so he had to keep everything on a schedule. Otherwise things just got more complicated.
With a heavy sigh he went to the kitchen. He paused, however, when he passed the front door. One day Rosemary was going to walk through that door and he wouldn't be able to explain what had happened. She was the only one who still cared. None of his children ever came to visit besides her. She shared stories, she kept them updated, and now she hadn't walked through that door since the day of her brother's death. What... what he going to say to her? What could he say? How could he tell her that he had been a failure?
Femi would never be back to normal. Alphonse would never come home. Rosemary would never come to visit with a smile on her face.
The cracks just grew bigger.
He could never go back to Corvistowne. He could never see his sister again. He could never...
"Kazifel?"
His head snapped around to look at the source of the voice, eyes hopeful.
But... Femi. He had to remind himself it was one of her bad days. She wasn't going to ask about how Rosemary was, or if Parsley was going to come home. She would never ask about them again. She normally didn't remember.
"I was just going to fix dinner. Your favorite kind of pancakes."
He could feel the tears in his eyes as he turned away.He couldn't break again. Not yet. Femi still needed him. He still had to take care of her... after all she was his princess. She had saved him. She was his everything. She was his Queen. His everything.
And yet everything still felt so empty.
