No Rest for the Wicked [Nathalia]

[Kari Muffin]

Emeraude had thought she was far enough behind them not to be noticed. That was until she felt like something had smacked her head against brick wall and cracked it clean open. All the pride in the world couldn't prevent her from hitting the ground and crying.

And maybe when she swallowed her pride she would be unsummoned. Maybe.

Conway didn't particularly like this method of magic. He didn't like the uncomfortable feeling, he didn't like the uncertainty, and he didn't like the fact that this was actually kind of frightening. So after three minutes of him doing his best not to have a flat out panic attack he was thankful when he hit the ground.

A very unladylike curse escaped him. That hurt. He could feel his eyes watering as he sat up, hair still smacking him in the face. Maybe he should shift to someone with shorter hair. As it was he was still the "more healthy" female version of himself. Of course he didn't have time to think about it as George pulled him up right.

"All right! Don't pull so hard! I'm not that heavy," he said in response to his friend's urgent tugging. He moved as fast as he possibly could.

Huh. This place looked terribly familiar. Where they in the Woods? Already? That was... well interesting. This was the place he had come to before to visit George. Conway relaxed only slightly when he made it through the door. There was the whole matter of the fact that he was now in the place where George lived which meant quite a few things. One of which was meeting that "mythological" figure.

"Uh... wait... George? Should I stay like this or... what?" He shifted his weight on his feet uncomfortably. "I'm not very presentable period and uh..." Conway didn't know how to actually finish that statement.

[Nathalia]

George felt that he would never be truly used to Master's quick-travel spell...it always left him feeling ill and shaky.
George barely noticed his companion's curse in his desperation to get them inside before some of the...less friendly neighbors took notice of their arrival.

"I'm s-sorry. B-but we really need to get inside before anyone notices...the neighbors aren't that...wonderful, really."

After getting him inside and slamming the door, snapping all of the locks shut and turning a few clocks to run backwards at the entrance before turning to head down the hallway.
He glanced back at Conway's question, blushed a bit, and shook his head.
"You should change to look as close to how you used to before we get in... Master would appreciate being able to b-better recognize you off the bat."

A door creaked open at the end of the hallway and a small, off-white form began creeping toward them.
A hunched Leveret, wearing a well-trimmed mustache, a pair of dented glasses, and a few decorative rings; scooted up to them and gave George a wry grin.
"Found a friend, did yeh George? Where'd you pick it up, eh?"
"No, Vincent, it's Conway, remember?" The Card answered tentatively."The ah, Joker?"
"Is 'e now?" The Rabbit asked, giving the Wolf a dubious once-over and backing off a little, one eye twitching as he skirted them and continued down the hall. "I'll drop Ellen a hint, then."

George motioned Conway a little further forward, down two turns and around to a large set of double-doors.
"Master will be pleased to see you again...I can p-promise you that."
He pulled the doors open, and moved inside.

[Kari Muffin]

Neighbors being awful. That was nothing particularly new. He had never heard of neighbors were helpful with the exception of a few back when he was growing up. Of course that was a long time ago, and things had changed. And he was in Tulgey, which was always creepy. Something even Conway had to admit to.

He nodded at George's comment. Well... to look like he had before? He could get pretty close with the exception of his hand. The one bad thing about it was whenever he wanted to himself he had to put up with it. "All right."

He was about to shift when he saw the off white form appear. He tilted his head at the comment. Pick it up? When exactly had women become an it? He shifted awkwardly as he eyed the leveret. He gave a small wave of greeting. As far as they knew he still had the wonderful curse put on him, and he might as well let them think that for a little while.

As the man left Conway shifted to look like... he used to look. It was strange looking younger and still having the hand. If it wasn't so useful he probably would have actively sought a way to fix it. But being able to talk to more than one person made his life easier... sometimes.

He followed George with no protest. Glancing around as they went. Everything really looked the same from what he could remember. He blinked at George's comment and paused outside the doors. "Pleased to see me? I didn't think I made that much of an impression on him."

He felt a pang of anxiety and mild terror. What didn't he know that he should have known? Swallowing the lump in his throat he flowed George inside. If anything he trusted his friend, no matter how terrifying his thoughts were.

[Nathalia]

George shifted in mild discomfort as Conway changed, looking at the wall behind his friend's head to spare himself some stomach churning.
A glance at Conway's "Ok", made him smile slightly. "That's much more like I rem-member."
He shook his head slightly to the next comment.
"No, Master remembers you quite well, and without the displeasure he felt toward Mr. Hatter. He-" The Torque paused, searching for words. "He likes Jokers, usually. Master does."
Pushing at the large door, George let them in.

The room beyond was warm and inviting, many paintings of Does lined the walls and a few of what could have been Cards.
A fire was burning low in the grate, though the room was still quite bright with the lamps set all around.
A desk in the corner, with a high-backed chair faced away from them, the wall-space free of pictures were instead taken up by bookshelves laden with reading material.
"M-Master?" George asked the direction of the chair. "I d-didn't find Mr. Whip, b-but I did find Conway, remember? My friend?... He's here with me."

The chair was pushed back and a familiar form pushed itself upward and into view.
"Ah, Conway." The Jack moved slowly and deliberately, taking care with his robe and chair as he turned the latter to face them. "Do sit down, won't you?" He asked, gesturing behind them to the seats by the fire as he resettled himself in the chair, red eyes focused unblinkingly on the Joker.
"George, go and find Ellen. I would appreciate the tea served for guests of stature. Go and inform her, please."
George snapped back upright with a nod and hurried from the room.
"Good. Mr. Conway, how do you do?" He politely awaited a response, pulling out a small pair of reading glasses and reviewing a page before him as he listened to the response and then folding it away.
The glasses were removed and placed back into his breast pocket.
"I see, please. Tell me what has transpired since you were last with us, I have a great desire to know."
Pulling a pad of paper and a quill toward himself, he waited. Face expressionless, he had been expecting this visit earlier than it had come.

[Kari Muffin]

Conway noticed George's discomfort at his changing. He felt a little bad about it, but at least he would be nicer to look at right? That was a mildly depressing thought.

At George's remark about his Master liking Jokers Conway couldn't help but feel his chest tighten. The warning bells rang rather loudly as he continued to follow the Torquehelm in front of him. Had this been a bad idea? Was he going to get into more of a mess than the one he had been in before?


Was that even possible?


The room did manage to make him feel a bit more comfortable. He glanced at the various pictures with a curious expression. At least his surroundings were interesting and more tastifully done than the palace.

Conway shifted awkwardly when George spoke. A very large part of him just wanted to run and hide under something like the scared and kicked puppy he felt like.

He tried his best not to look utterly terrified. He did a fairly convincing job, he thought, anyway. When the rabbit's eyes locked on him he felt a chill go up his spine. He took a seat when he was directed and tried not to hyperventilate at the prospect of being sociable.

Tea? For a moment Conway's face flashed terror. No, he didn't want to have to deal with drinking or eating or anything like that in front of someone. He had trouble enough with tea before he had fallen apparent, he didn't want it now. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from protesting and looking like he was terrified of everything. He watched as George hurried from the room, leaving him alone with the White Rabbit.

He jumped slightly when he was addressed, his eyes widening slightly at the question.

"Rather awful actually, though I admit that I'm doing better at this moment than I was about several hours ago." Did the rabbit actually care? He didn't seem to.


But he asked what happened. And he seemed to be serious. The Paper and the quill made Conway shifted uncomfortably. Did he really want to know everything that happened? Was he going to write things down?

It couldn't hurt to talk. He imagined the White Rabbit would politely tell him to shut the hell up if he was talking to much.

"That's... a lot of information to cover but I'll try my best to summarize it." He wasn't particularly sure how to go about it. He had been a servant in the Highlands shortly after leaving, and then he had met Javaid--the one tiny bright point in his life. Then he had lost his hand... a long list of misfortunes followed by several bright points before he was captured by the King and Queen of Hearts. And then his life simply became a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from.

[Nathalia]

The White Rabbit observed the Joker with very little open expression, listening intently with his ears perked forward as the man agreed to speak.

"Rather awful? I'm terribly sorry to hear it." His voice did not express undue concern, merely the burgeoning interest in the clipped precise tone. "Please do not mind the notes, know only that they are necessary, please, do go on."

The Jack listened to most of the narrative without comment, giving the poor Card small glances to indicate he should continue if he faltered, he wanted the Wolf to get everything out while he was in a telling mood.
He jotted down notes; The Wolf's contacts, many names, places, happenings, descriptions, spells, psychological horror.
Hmmm.
When the Card finally ceased speaking, the White Rabbit lay his quill down as the door opened.
"Very interesting, Mr. Conway. Ah, thank you, Ellen."
The door to the room swung open slowly and the elderly Doe hopped in with the tea trolley.
Balancing carefully, she got a plate of scones over to the coffee table where Conway was sitting, and another over to her Jack at his desk.
The tea was a mild vanilla and the scones had blueberries stuffed in them, topped with a sugar glaze and smothered in butter. The White Rabbit selected one carefully with a napkin over his hand, raised it to his mouth, and nibbled delicately.
"Of course, my Dear." Ellen murmured with a smile. "Tell me when I can bring poor George back in, he's going mad with worry."
"In due time."

Ellen packed the cart back up with the serving things and left the room with the food and drink.

The White Rabbit eyed his guest.
"If I have understood you correctly, Mr. Conway. Then I am to hazard a guess that nothing I could offer you would be of interest, is that correct?"
He watched for the assent.
"I see. I'll come back to that particular obstacle in a moment, perhaps I can rectify the indignity for some further knowledge." He paused to sip his tea, watching the way the Card moved. "Tell me, does it cause you pain to change as it does George? I am curious to what may cause this, if it is bred or simply magical in nature. I have a control form, but I would be grateful to know if yours is of the same quality and fashion."

He readjusted himself lightly.
"In the meantime, I would like you to tell me more about the current King and Queen of Hearts. Their motives and personalities; what drives them in short, are of the most use to me. Thank you."
He set down his tea and finished nibbling at his danish, then picked his quill back up and waited expectantly.

[Kari Muffin]

This was probably the most Conway had spoken in years, and it felt strange to say the least. He was still mildly anxious about the whole situation. It still seemed odd that the White Rabbit was taking notes to begin with or even taking an interest in him.

Very interesting, huh? It was really hard to tell if that was an honest comment or not. He really couldn't tell anything--and it was unnerving. Where was George anyway? Wasn't he going to come back?

The food made Conway shifted uncomfortably. He took to taking each digit of his paw lightly on the chair. It was enough to prevent him from having an anxiety attack in front of someone and it didn't make that much sound. The food certainly smelled good even if the sight made him cringe inwardly. As much as he disliked tea he was thirsty and thanks to all that talking his throat was unbelievably dry. And his stomach was reminding him that he was hungry, but that was nothing new. He picked up the cup of tea with his good and and took a hesitant sip.

Still tasted like boiled grass. At least there was a hint of vanilla. Conway managed to choke back the whimper that wanted to bubble up when he watched the White Rabbit take a bite out of a scone. As long as he didn't focus on the food he would be fine.

The question caught him slightly off guard. He set the cup down, his paw still tapping his leg lightly. "Yes that's correct," Conway confirmed. Unless there was a magic wand that could be waved that would fix all the horrible things that happened.

The wolf looked legitimately surprised at the next statement. He could help? "When I try to change into my animal form--any animal form--I'm too tired to stay coherent. Half the time I pass out, the other half of the time I'm too weak to actually stand up. the exhaustion is overwhelming so if I am in pain I can't really tell."

He would take pain over passing out any day.

The mention of the Queen and King of Hearts made Conway's nose wrinkle. He couldn't really give an honest unbiased opinion of the pair. "I don't think I can give you a proper assessment of the pair without being bias," he might as well state the disclaimer outright. "The Queen of Hearts is determined to bring stability to her suit, and with the amount of magic she's learned when taking a break from her paperwork I think she's on her way. Despite being the Queen she's actually rather nice behind closed doors. She plays with her pet Ace and children. And then it's like she has a split personality when her King shows up and she becomes a complete monster fixated one one goal." Conway couldn't prevent himself from growling, "And the King of Hearts is a monster. I haven't seen a good side of him as hard as he tries. All he does is eat, have sex, and do his workload. And he's considerably powerful considering he... broke me."

Conway picked up his tea and started drinking it, hoping it would quell his building rage. It was replaced by his repulsion, which was quickly replaced by him forcing the tea down. He would try to summarize the King of Hearts if the White Rabbit wanted more, but the Joker would have to take frequent breaks.

[Nathalia]

Thin fingers moving delicately over the paper, quill scratching quietly, the Jack listened to the Wolf's tale of woe, his face set to an even expression which did not change.

He watched the Joker fidget as he spoke, nerves giving away his incredible discomfort with the situation, and mild tics of the face expressing his issue with the food and drink laid out before him.
"Good to know." His tone held the same flat, even keel as his face. "George is incapable of changing forms without experiencing incredible pain. Highly distressing to him, and an aggravation to anything I may have needed him to use the form for. It's inexplicable and I had wondered if there was any connection.
Perhaps there is, I should like to look into that, should you be able to spare me the time."
He made a short note in the margin and lightly crossed his ankles.

His ears twitched lightly and the barest hint of a smile flickered across his features at the boy's reaction to being questioned on the Hearts Court.
Excellent, biased opinion could do wonders for your own.

"Bias is of little matter, I am used to dealing with opinionated creatures." He murmured, urging the Wolf on and listening intently to his responses.
He nodded when the curt statements finished.
"If the current Queen is attempting to bring stability to her Suit, she's doing as desperately poor a job of it as her predecessors. I am of the school of though that believes it cannot truly be done. Not for the Hearts. Now,"
He dipped his quill back into the ink and tapped the nib lightly on the inside of the well.
"The King of Hearts I have observed; he gets out more often and makes himself a pitiably simple target. His bloated ego and insidious stance on life make him easier to read than he could be, considering what he is. Difficult to see what you would refer to as a good side of him? I can see that, he, or should I say "it" is a very single minded creature, and not truly a Card at that.
Hm, The current King of Hearts is quite a good basis for my current research, however problematic he may be."
He looked up, meeting the Joker's eyes for the first time since he'd stepped in.
"Are you aware of the origin of the King of Hearts? It explains a good deal of his foolish and corrupt nature.
He doesn't understand how Cards are truly to function any better than a Jack who's never seen one.
Regardless, if you could please stand, I would like to try something."

He watched for hesitation.
"It will not cause pain, nor will it wreak havoc on your memory or state of mind. I am going to alter your time field to see if it might relive you enough to eat and sleep comfortably. Then, you can tell me more."
Moving over, he gave the Wolf an expectant look, waiting for him to rise so that he could lead him to the center of the room.
"Now, if you please. No talking, and move as little as possible."

[Kari Muffin]

Conway frowned. He hadn't been aware that his best friend had trouble with taking his other forms. That was a distressing. He refrained from actually whimpering and continued to fidget. The longer he was here the more he wanted to leave. Though he imagined people from the Court of Hearts would be looking for him. Why couldn't he actually catch a break that didn't leave a sour taste in the back of his mouth?

He wanted biased opinion? Well that was new. Then again he normally wasn't interviewed about things of this nature. He liked to sit in a corner and be ignored. The slight hint of a smile on the rabbit's face was.... strange. He had been fairly blank this entire time. Conway continued to sip his tea as he listened to the White Rabbit.

Wait so.... Apocalypse wasn't....? Conway found himself staring in disbelief, he was still clutching his empty tea cup when the White rabbit looked at him. Unnerving. He swallowed as he set the cup down. "N-no I don't know the official origin of the King of Hearts... but I head snippets. And I imagine it has something to do with that scythe of his considering... his son was born with a set attached to his back." And it would have explained everything, though the idea was hard to believe..


When he was asked to stand Conway did hesitate. So he wanted to try something? Conway bit his lower lip until the Rabbit explained what was going to happen. It wasn't reassuring at all. But it would have been better than anything that had happened in the palace and if it would help him function how could it be bad?

Conway stood up and was lead to the center of the room. He stayed as still as he could possibly manage.

[Nathalia]

"Hmmm, yes. The King of Hearts is far closer to his weapon than many would guess; and I mean this in the most literal way possible. Please, stand still."

The White Rabbit made his way past the Joker to the study door, pulled it tightly to.
And locked it.
Measured footsteps found their way back over to the Wolf as he pulled a small array of pocket watches from his coat.
"No. No. Here, hold this one." He deposited a tiny, brass watch with a dull chain to Conway's good hand and then stepped a pace back from him, reaching out to stiffly push and mold the man into better posture.
"Standing straight is highly advisable for this. Now, hold it out in your hand.
Go on.
See the knob at the top?
Very good, when I tell you to, you will twist it; three times, to the left. Are we clear?"

He waited for the Joker to acknowledge the instructions before tucking the rest away, save one. A silver backed, highly polished thing, with the initials W.R. inscribed on the back.
This, he held out in front of himself, clicked it open, and stared down into it.
Ten seconds passed, in which the Rabbit regarded the time piece.
"Now. Mr. Conway." Came the clipped, even voice.

After he had turned the knob, Conway's body would freeze completely in place, a sensation of cold, clammy nothingness crawled up his spine...
And then, there was blackness.

The White Rabbit slowly closed his own watch and tucked it away in a breast pocket, his eyes slowly roving over the Joker; frozen in place as though made from stone and walking around him in a slow circle.
This should do as the man requested.
Side effects would, of course, represent themselves elsewhere, but that was neither here nor there, was it?

Seating himself back behind his desk, he began to take down notes.

Half an hour later, Conway would feel his consciousness bubbling back as though through molasses. There was no pain.
His body slowly relaxed and the small watch in his hand wound down, clicked to a stop, and broke with a small ping.
The White Rabbit would make no move to take it back, he simply glanced up from his desk.
"Ah. Good. Please sit down. I'll tell Ellen to bring George and some drinks."