[Fin]Don't Bother Me [Open]

[carcinoGeneticist]

[Let's rock and roll! Pale needs to meet people who aren't Hearts or nobles. Also, Slugger needs an introduction. <3]

A day off was a wonderful thing. At least, it was when a person could actually have some time to themselves.

For Apocalypse, he'd long since adjusted to the fact that he was never really alone, at least not in the way he sometimes wished to be. Rhiannon was always in her mind in some way or another, even before their rather bizarre swap had occurred. She was still there now, more a quiet observer than anything else. No, she wasn't what was getting on his nerves today.

That would be the little thing that was following him around.

It had appeared one day by his side, curled up under his covers as if it had a right to be there. It hadn't spoken, had just given him a wide, fangy, and gap-toothed smile from a face that looked unnervingly like a youthful version of his own. Then it had refused to leave his side. He'd tried to lock it in his room to keep it out of his way for an afternoon, but the noise it had started making let him know that wasn't a possibility. As soon as he'd found that it had another shape it could take, he'd worked out a way around that. It was sweet, in a strange way, and the man thought it was almost cute.

Today, however, he'd had just about enough of it. This was supposed to be his time off. He didn't get very much of it, after all, it only came on the tail-end of meetings that had occurred elsewhere in the Realms. He'd just wanted to sit down and have a nice dinner, and the damn thing had taken a huge bite of his food and then hauled ass out of the restaurant, making the face he recognized to indicate laughter all the way. Now it was trying to get his attention again as he stalked down the street, doing his damnedest to ignore it completely. Every once in a while he caught a glimpse of blond out of the corner of his eye, a clear indication that it was still tailing him eagerly. People were stepping out of its way, something he could hardly blame them for doing.

Was it too much to ask for company that was normal?

---

For curious parties...
Amorphous Childing
This sad, sordid creature resembles a ten-year-old version of the previous owner of the uterus. (Apocalypse's uterus, in this case)
It cannot speak, and is quiet, frail, and shy as a startled deer.
It appeared out of the woodwork one morning next to its master (Pale), and will not leave him. If he tries to shut it out, it will have a complete and utter break down, crying desperately and flinging itself at the barrier between itself and its master until it is allowed in his presence once more.
This creature gives off a frightful aura and only Queens will not feel the distinct pang of wrong in the air when they look at it.
It is rather affectionate, and is able, upon request, to change into something more portable...
A 10 inch, blue slug.
Once a week, this creature is able to cause any Card ranked 10 and under to lose a sense of themselves and forget who they are, what their powers are, and where they were going, for an entire 10 minutes.
This strange thing seems to have bonded rather well to Rhiannon, though neither can explain the oddity as they have never before met.

[Lucca]

((I decided not to be mean enough to throw my Club at him. ;P))



It was a good day to take a relaxing stroll through the Capital. Oddly enough, since walking around was not really one of the things the lazy Porcupine generally felt to be relaxing. Maybe it was the fact that the sun was high, the breeze was lovely, and he was avoiding work by coming here. Or maybe it was just what he'd smoked that morning. Either way, he was in a very good mood (not that this was unusual for the laid-back Selkie). So when he first saw a half-naked, rather intimidating man with sharp teeth, who most in the crowd seemed hastily trying to avoid, his first impulse was to smile and approach the stranger in a friendly manner.

"Hey, man, why the anger?" he said in his usual mellow voice. "It's a wonderful day, and you really look like you need to relax and just--" But that was when he caught sight of the odd little thing tailing -behind- the man, and the words died on his tongue. An uncomfortable shiver ran down his back, as a horrible sense of -wrong- flooded him, something he'd never felt before. His stomach lurched a bit at the sensation, his golden eyes widening. He could never remember being this afraid of...well, anything. Not even the Tulgey he'd met once had been this unnerving. But he dug his claws into the ground to stop himself activating his Spade ability and running, determined not to make a bad impression, despite the fact that his head was spinning. Quickly, he looked away from the creature and back at the man it seemed to be following, noticing how it almost looked like a smaller version of him. Was it possible that it was his -child-? Sweet Suits! "S-sorry about that," he apologized with a shaking breath. "I..." It was odd for Felix to find himself at a loss for words, but then again he'd never been in this situation before.

[carcinoGeneticist]

It was a sad side effect of Apocalypse's bad mood that resulted in his ignoring almost everyone that he saw, only the lucky fact that the Thing's presence resulted in them cutting him a rather wide berth. That wasn't so bad, if he sat back and looked at it rationally. He didn't really want to deal with people even with the weird little creeper out of the picture, so in a way it was doing him a favor to keep the people away from him. It was amazing how many people wanted something from a titled noble..

In this case, however, Apocalypse was actually surprised to hear someone talking to him and he turned his orange gaze downward. The corner of his lip twitched into a sneer that he forced into a friendly smile, one that might have just had one too many teeth.

Why the anger? Lucky for him, he didn't need to say a word. He just needed to wait for the Childling to catch up and then the irritating spike-rat would understand. When he heard the footsteps behind him, he didn't even flinch, just quirked an eyebrow.

The Childling itself was much less calm than its master, and stared at the porcupine with wide eyes, slowly sliding behind Apocalypse, clinging to his legs and staring at the Lakelander with wide and horrified eyes. Spines everywhere. That was worrysome. It tugged lightly on its master's leg, seeming to indicate that it wanted him to move on.

Apocalypse did not move on. He just stared at the man, a genuine smile creeping onto his face. "You...? Come on, sir, spit it out." There was a laugh in his voice, barely constrained. "You had so much to say to me a moment before, what's got you so stopped up now?"

[Lucca]

Most people would have taken offense at the taunting Apocalypse was dishing out, when he knew full well the cause of their being tongue-tied. Felix however...merely blinked up at the man, confusion written all over his face, but fear flickering behind that. "I...I don't...know." He blinked again, golden eyes looking almost pleadingly up at the man. "I think it's...that weird thing following you, man." A shudder went through him as he carefully avoided looking at it, despite the fact it was now clinging to the man's leg. Belatedly, he realized he might be insulting the guy.

"Oh, uh, sorry if it's like...your kid or whatever, but it gives me the creeps." His ears went back and he frowned, the expression looking somehow unnatural on his honest face. Shaking his head, he attempted to recover his bearings, but every time he caught a glance of that thing out of the corner of his eyes, he felt a new rush of fear.

[carcinoGeneticist]

This was actually entertaining, much to the King's shock. He had never guessed that anything related to the damn eerie little creature would provide him with a smile, but here he was, a grin firmly affixed to his face as he watched the Lakelander trip over his words. It almost looked like the man just wanted to bolt and was trying his hardest to stay in place, so Apocalypse took a step closer. He knew the boy-thing would follow close behind - it never wanted to be far from its master, after all.

It did, but it remained close behind the older man, still just peeking out every once in a while before hiding behind his legs, frail arms wrapping around one limb from behind.

"Weird thing?" Apocalypse repeated, a hint of anger creeping into his tone. Entirely mocked, of course, he was finding that he was slipping into a rather excellent mood as this little encounter continued on. He let his lip curl into a sneer as he stared down at the pricky stranger. "He is my son, and he can't help a damn thing about the way that he looks."

He glanced down at the child, suppressing a shudder as he made eye contact with the mini version of himself. The thing smiled brightly in return, enjoying the attention it was getting from its master. "Go on, son, say hello to the nice man. He's a mute. You should really try to be more understanding of the misfortune of others," Apocalypse commented in an off-handed manner, almost scolding the porcupine as he pushed the weird mockery of a child forward. It resisted at first, giving the man a reproachful look before focusing on the Lakelander.

Then it opened its mouth, no sound escaping it, and waved.

[Lucca]

Felix's ears drooped even further, and sadness seemed to emanate from his bearing, his wide, sorry eyes, until he looked a bit like a kicked puppy. Well, except for all the spikes. "I...I'm really really sorry about that, Sir," the porcupine said, uncommonly polite. "I didn't mean to uh...insult him, or anything. I'm really sorry." He seemed to shrink down a bit, quills flattening in submission. He'd never...he'd never been in this sort of a situation before. The nice day suddenly had turned very threatening, and it was only now that Felix, who never payed much attention to Rank, noticed the King of Hearts markings on the man's chest. Gulp. He pleaded silently with whatever deity was listening that he wasn't about to meet his untimely end.

And then...the child came forward...and Felix, fighting against everything his brain was telling him to do, because this child felt so -wrong- and who had the King mated with to produce something with this terrible aura? looked at the creature and actually managed a strained smile. He also managed not to wet himself, which was a blessing, as that would have been rather humiliating. "Hello. Uh, sorry for uh...the insult. You seem like a nice kid and I'm sure your Dad is proud of ya." He noticed, then, how afraid the child seemed of him. Well that was...odd. Was it because of his quills? "I...I'm not gonna hurt ya, promise." Another shaky smile.

[carcinoGeneticist]

Oh, this was almost too much! Part of Apocalypse almost felt bad for the porcupine as he cowered in the street, cringing away from King and boy-creature. He could hardly imagine what the man's face would look like if he started to laugh and then assure him that the childling wasn't, in fact, his child, and that it was a good thing that the Lakelander was afraid of him. If he hadn't been, Apocalypse might have worried about his well-being.

But this was too much fun. He needed some entertainment, and he wondered how long he could milk this out. He should have felt bad, he was sure, but... No one was getting hurt by his fun, this time! That was rare.

"Just think about what you say before it leaves your mouth." He answered rather easily, giving a small shake of his head as if he didn't believe what had just happened and resting his hands on his hips as he raised an eyebrow. "He's mute, but hardly deaf."

Nope, the boy-thing mouthed, leaning in to stare closely at one of the quills. It turned to glance at its master, then reached out, lightly poking one of the spines before skittering back behind Apocalypse, peering out again with wide-eyed terror. The man rested his hand on its head, stroking its light-blond hair gently. "What's your name?" he finally asked, tilting his head to the side and staring at the porcupine. He kept his hand on the childling's head, something he didn't want to do but it seemed to be rather fond of.

[Lucca]

"Of course, I will from now on um..." Was this man a titled noble of the Court? His panicked brain tried to remember the formalities, but he couldn't quite grasp any of them, except for Your Majesty, which he knew wasn't right. That was only for Queens. "I will." His wide golden eyes got impossibly wider as the childing's hand came close to him, frozen to the spot, afraid to even so much as twitch a whisker.

A small shudder ran through him at the touch of so -wrong- an entity, but he gave a bright smile, hoping that would appease them in case they noticed. But the smile fell as his name was demanded in what felt like a harsher tone than it probably was intended. All this being terrified stuff was wearing on his nerves. A more intelligent Card might have been suspicious and seen through Apocalypse's bull crap, but Felix was not known for his stunning brain capacity.

"Felix, Your...High...ness." HAH! He actually remembered it! A rush of relief actually ran through him at this, and he smiled tentatively, but it looked a little more sincere than his other ones. "Nice to meet you both." Even though they hadn't given him their names, but he was too flustered to realize that at the moment.

[carcinoGeneticist]

((I'm so sorry Pale is such a jerk to your characters. @_@ I genuinely think we need to try a thread sometime when he's in a good mood or something. I promise he can be charming.))

It was always interesting to see how people would deal with their emotions when they experienced one they were uncomfortable with. Some, like Apocalypse himself, would try to hide it with other emotions or with utter blankness. Whenever the King felt something beyond happiness or anger, he tended to mask it with... Well, with happiness or anger. They worked just fine for the most part, and for the times that they didn't... Well. That wasn't the issue. Other people, like Felix, seemed to wear their emotions on their sleeve, for the world to see and tweak around.

Now wasn't the time for the man to get too interested in the psychology of emotions, however. Now was his opportunity to continue to have fun with his new friend. It was perfect, because the childling didn't like being forced to interact with people and was feeling fairly uncomfortable about the whole situation, the porcupine didn't seem to like the childling very much either.

It was delightful for Apocalypse, who could just bask in the delectable feeling of control over a situation.

Besides, he was quickly finding he liked the porcupine. Felix. He was respectful, and hearing himself called by his title still sent an exited little thrill through Apocalypse. It was a reminder of exactly what he'd achieved with his freedom. His grin reappeared, and then widened.

"There's no need to be so nervous, my good man, Jaime's not going to hurt you." Jaimie? The childling stared at Apocalypse for a long while, confusion bright in its wide eyes. It had never been called Jamie before, but Apocalypse wasn't about to introduce what he was claiming was his son as "Slugger". "My name is Apocalypse, and this is my son, Jaimie. Perhaps you'd like to get lunch with us?"

[Lucca]

"Right," Felix responded, smile turning awkward again as his gaze unwillingly turned back to the child. "Jaime seems like a good...kid." His ears were so far down it was hampering his hearing slightly. Especially since now he was starting to feel guilty. Why -was- he so afraid of the child? Was there something -wrong- with him? Children had never affected him this way before, none of them had made him terrified for no reason. In fact, he'd never been this scared of anything in his life. Maybe it was a sign he should never be a parent...er, not that he'd want to be anyway. Kids were a lot of work, and then he'd have to actually meet someone he wanted to settle down with, and he'd never fallen in love again after...well. That wasn't something he liked to think about, usually.

Have lunch with them? The thought of spending any more time in the presence of that child terrified him, but it would be downright rude of him to refuse. He could...he could suck it up. "Oh, s-sure, thank you, Your Highness Apocalypse, that's v-very nice of you!" He smiled a bit. "J-just lead on, I guess. I'll eat just about anything edible so..." A shaky, too-loud laugh.

((XD It's totally fine. I've read other topics where he is actually charming. Apparently you just have to be a pretty woman. ;P))