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Post by Kitty on Sept 12, 2008 16:33:06 GMT -5
Her words made something somewhere in his chest actually hurt ... almost as if he'd been struck there. This all was his fault, even if he hadn't meant for her to get hurt. He didn't want her to leave ... and, even more so, he didn't want to leave her ... things were just complicated but it seems that these complications were just inside his own mind. But .. .at the same time hearing her say such things made him rather happy and he wasn't sure why. Suits he'd only known this girl for well ... not even two days.
Ilana ... I really ... don't want you to leave, or leave myself ... I would have ... told you already. I just ... don't really know ... what's going on.
He looked away from her and swallowed hard ... it was an awkward conversation but at least they'd be able to talk about it and get everything cleared up ... right? He certainly hoped so, last night was wonderful but it just ... made everything so much more confusing. He moved his gaze back to her and smiled the best he could.
I really don't mind picking them myself ... we can eat by the stream, yeah? |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 12, 2008 18:00:48 GMT -5
She blushed a deep red. While a part of her still felt a bit of doubt, she snuffed it. Tavor would not hurt her, she didn't know why she had ever let the thought sweep into her mind. And even now he admitted that he didn't want to leave her side either. For better or for worse, they were stuck with eachother, though at the moment Ilana couldn't see how being near the rat mix was bad. "I don't know either. It's all so strange...All I know is...that...I just...don't want to leave you..." she said blushing. She couldn't help herself, she touched her head to his arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. She didn't linger though, she recognized this as an uncomfortible situation.
She was happy for the same reasons he was though. At least now they had kind of started to clear up the misunderstandings, and maybe now they could start to leave the embarrassing conversations and worries behind. She wanted to be able to have fun with Tavor, rather then just constantly worrying if she was going to be alone and without him. When he smiled at her, she responded with a warm and sweet smile as well. "The stream should probably be a bit warmer now to. I imagine it will be ready to bathe in when we finish eating. Thank you...Tavor." she said, continuing her labored walk to the 'camp site' well...it seemed like they weren't going to be getting to any city today...not with the lame foot she had...
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Post by Kitty on Sept 12, 2008 18:17:47 GMT -5
B-but why ... do you want to stay? W-want me ... to stay?
He felt like his brain was running in circle but ... he really wanted to know and now seemed like the perfect time to get out any awkward questions he might have. He tightened the grip he had on her just a bit with his tail, but the nudge she gave him to his arm was comforting. He reached down and lightly touched her head and paused for a moment before scratching lightly behind one of her ears.
Yeah, we can finally get ourselves all cleaned up. Plus ... we could ... soak your leg while we eat.
He paused for a moment, debating whether or not he should say what was on his mind but ... he figured she wouldn't mind a simple idea.
do you ... think we should stay here again tonight? I m-mean we've got... sh-shelter, food and .... water.
Well suits he was getting himself all worked up and nervous again ... |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 12, 2008 18:38:47 GMT -5
She thought for a long moment before continuing, and closed her eyes slightly as she walked with him, feeling the tension coming down through his tail. "I don't know...last night...It meant a lot to me. You are so kind, and gentle, and just...a fun person to be around. Everything I've ever wanted. I felt like...well...I don't know if you feel the same way...but...I felt...a strange and sudden connection to you....like we were always meant for eachother." she blushed horribly red, waiting a moment to say anything, "Like we were created to one day find each other...and become whole. I feel....whole when I'm with you. Secure. I don't want that to go away....even if what happened last night could never happen again. I don't care....I just...want to know you'll be there..."
She said nothing for a while after that. She had laid her heart on the table and now she was waiting to see what the rat mix said. It was scary and relieving all at once. What if he called her crazy? What if he didn't feel the same way? Well...it was probably better to get it out of the way now then to get even more attached and then find out the harsh truth. But it was also exciting...because...what if...maybe...just maybe...he felt similarly? What if she had found the knight she had been looking for all her life? She never imagined he'd come in the form of Tavor...but well...she supposed no one ever really expected to be with the person they were with.
She let the convo drop for a moment, to talk about the plans for later. "It might be best to stay tonight. My leg looks and feels like it needs time to rest." she nodded mostly to herself. "And like you said, we have everything we need for now." including...each other.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 12, 2008 18:53:28 GMT -5
As he listened he just couldn't believe what he was hearing. In a way it was wonderful and he wanted to be overjoyed but there was just a little lingering feeling of wrong in the back of his mind. How could she be so certain after only knowing him for roughly a day? He'd heard that when you met the right person you'd know but ... he wasn't sure what he thought. He'd been fully convinced that he would never find anyone and ... here was this girl claiming that she felt as i they were meant for each other. She was more then he deserved and ... he still didn't know what to say, what to think ... or, really, what he felt. He was torn between the logical side of his mind and the part that was normally buried... the part that was a hopeless romantic and found this all so fairy tail-esque and perfect.
Ilana ... I ...
He paused, knowing he had to choose his words carefully, he didn't want to break her heart he just ... didn't know how he truly felt yet. This was far to much for him to digest all at once and .... suits was he ever conflicted.
I'm just not certain how I feel I've ... always thought I'd never find someone and ... this is all so .... s-sudden and I just .... I ...
He stopped rambling and took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly before stopping and bending down to scoop her head up into his hands so he could speak to her eye to eye.
I just ... want to ... explore this a bit more before I ... before ...
He didn't know how to finish that but ... he also didn't like leaving the sentence hanging either. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 12, 2008 19:14:41 GMT -5
His tone...she already knew something was wrong. She breathed deep, ready to face whatever he was going to tell her. Again...she felt like he was letting her down gentley. Oh well...a part of her had known it was to good to be true. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she really hadn't found the one to make her whole. He was right...it was sudden and strange. Even she agreed on some level that a day was hardly enough time to believe she had found the one. She smiled, encouraging him to say what he felt, but inside her she felt something die. It was painful, and she hardly felt like smiling, but that would not be good of her to ask him to tell her the truth and then act like a brat about the answer. No, she said she would be supportive of him in so many words...and thats what she would do.
He took up her face in his hands, and her heart fluttered slightly as she stared into his blue eyes, her own emerald ones begging despite her attempt to make herslf look accepting. She smiled, "It's ok Tavor...I understand..." she said simply. She didn't want him to try to find the words to tell her that he wasn't feeling it. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear them even if he did. She let her head fall out of his hands, and smiled warmly, before limping forward again.
"I'm not horribly good at directions...but...we are approaching the site soon...am I not right? If you wouldn't mind...I might soak in the water while you are off getting the berries. Maybe if I swim in the water I can strengthen my leg without putting to much immidiate pressure one it" she said, changing the subject. She just...didn't want to think about it anymore.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 12, 2008 19:36:59 GMT -5
He couldn't help but sigh when she took her head from his hands ... it made his heart sink to know that she was ... angry, or ... disappointed or ... something. He knew there was something negative there he just wasn't sure what it was and it ... almost made him want to cry. But ... he hadn't cried in a long while and he didn't want to start again now. His ears dropped and he stood back up, but he still walked next to her and used his tail as a support. He had to make this up to her .. .he really did.
I think ... that's a good idea. Just please ... be careful of the rocks. They can be rather slippery and I ... wouldn't want you to get hurt again.
Sorry most definitely wouldn't make her feel any better, but he was sorry ... sorry that he couldn't just tell her all the things she wanted to hear. But ... he just couldn't jump into something so deep so ... fast. He needed to know that she was .... exactly who he thought she was and that they could continue to enjoy each other's company for a long time. In a way ... he was selfishly protecting his own feelings but ... he had after everything he'd been through in his life. His feelings were the only thing he could effectively protect, after all.
They arrived at the site quicker then he thought they would and he peered down at her once more his expression .... unreadable with how mixed his own emotions were. He just ... didn't know what to do anymore ... |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 14, 2008 19:51:25 GMT -5
"Don't worry about me." she said with a meek smile as they moved closer and closer into the camp site. She really didn't want him to worry. Usually she wasn't this clumbsy, she had just been panicing and not paying attention to her surroundings like she should have. Otherwise she might have been fine. "I'll be careful..." she added, hoping to assure him. After all, they needed berries if they were going to get to the next town. She had almost forgotten why they were out and about in the first place, and then she remember that he was looking for those roses. With this wounded foot, it's unlikely that they would be finding that rose fast. She sighed. She was going to slow him down now, that made her feel a bit bad.
She couldn't read his expression as they entered into the camp, but she wasn't quite sure she wanted to. She didn't want to think to heavily on it. She was already horribly disappointed that it seemed as if it would be going nowhere after being so horribly honest with him. Oh well, she supposed she couldn't blame him. Just because she had a hunch that she was meant for him...doesn't nessesarily mean that it goes the other way. She should be happy they united at all, and cherish whatever friendship they would have. She gave him a small smile, her eyes cloudy behind it, but did her best to sound cheerful. "I could probably make it to the stream on my own...if you wanted to get started..."
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Post by Kitty on Sept 14, 2008 20:30:05 GMT -5
I can't help but worry ... It's what I do best.
He smiled reassuring to her, his tone holding a bit of humor to it. He really was a worry wart but right now he was trying to make her feel better. He didn't mind postponing breakfast for this either ... if it meant he knew she was alright. He twitched his tail tip, running the feathers over her side.
No ... I want to make sure you get there safely, I couldn't go without knowing you were safe ...
He walked with her the rest of the way before he slowly uncurled his tail from around her somewhat reluctantly. His ears perked forward and he watched her for a moment before he stepped over to the tree where his cloak was hanging and the pack was resting on the ground. He dipped down and picked it up before returning to where he'd left her.
You're sure you'll be alright? |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 16, 2008 0:44:49 GMT -5
"I know...but...try not to." she said as he smiled at her, a smile crossing her own features. She knew he was joking, but she really just didn't want him to worry. She just...wanted some time alone really, to let herself calm down from the disappointment before continuing to be her happy little self later. It would be a bit of a task, but she knew she was being rediculous. She felt a bit of a pain in her heart at his words, and she didn't protest. Well, at least he still seemed to like her. Friendship was more then she could ask for at this rate, and she was happy to have it.
She allowed him to take her to the water, and she daintily stepped in. Her body shivered and hissed, the water was still a bit cold, but she was impaitent to get in the water at this point. Her tail flicked quickly from side to side and she laid down in the cool waters, sighing a bit when she could feel Tavor's tail leave her. There was something definate about the lack of touch. Like that was somehow the end. Her face fell, though she looked the other way so that the rat couldn't see her expression. When he came back, she looked at him, masking her sadness with a gleeful smile. "Yup! I'll be fine...don't worry."
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