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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 1, 2008 15:37:06 GMT -5
She was a bit half asleep as well, starting to feel the warmth spread between them, and settled comfortibly in his lap, her tired body started drifting. But there was that issue to settle once and for all, and she couldn't sleep just yet. She looked up at him, and despite him looking at the wall, she stared into his eyes a bit, "I thought we weren't going to talk down about ourselves anymore..." she said, not so much chastizing as to say that what he said wasn't true.
"Honestly...I think...if it wasn't such an awkward situation...I'd say you were the best I could possibly ever hope to find..." her words were matter of fact, despite the deep blush on her face. "You really don't realize how much of a find you are? Am I imagining how similar we are?" she lifted her head now so that she could be eye level with his face...even if he wasn't going to look at her. She blushed a deep crimson, "I'm sorry....I don't mean to be so forward...I don't know what's coming over me...I feel paniced...like some great thing is slipping away from me...and I'm letting my anxiety get in the way of grabbing at it and holding on to it. I've not met many people in my life....but I've never met someone who...I've instantly felt so comfortible and connected to...I feel like I'm going crazy. This shouldn't be happening to me...you know?" she tried to explain her feelings...but it didn't come out quite the way she hoped it had.
"I understand if you think I'm crazy...and...if you don't feel the same way. I just...I don't know" she said softly...looking away from him finally. She felt like an idiot.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 1, 2008 19:47:19 GMT -5
He listened to her speak, snow hued ears twitching every now and again as her tone changed as she spoke, his feathered tail tip twitching idly. Slowly, over the course of her speech, his eye drifted back to her, but he remained silent and played the perfect listener. Surely she was kidding, playing some kind of joke on him ... right? No one did this to him, ever .... Xylia and Maxwell had been ... different, but this was just .... well, almost absurd in it's strangeness. And he couldn't quite let go of what he was ...
But I'm ... a half Lowland Club.
Being any part Lowlander had seemed like a crime when he was younger, and still did depending on who he met. suits, until he'd gotten his bipedal form no one had even really noticed that he was a Club ... but the fact that he was seemed to make people look down on him more, at least most. He'd always felt like an inferior member of society and a little lingering voice liked to tell him that no matter what he did ... he always would be. And oh how it was making it's voice heard now.
Maybe she just ... hadn't noticed those two facts? The very thought brought sadness to his dark eyes. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 2, 2008 0:49:33 GMT -5
She watched his expressions as she spoke. She could see some sort of inner turmoil behind his eyes, his ear movements and body language also betraying him. She waited, waited for what he would say in responce. Surely he would tell her she was crazy, and drop her off at the next town without so much as a goodbye. She didn't know why she felt like she was grasping at straws, but that would be the best way to describe the situation. When he finally said what was on his mind, she blinked a little bit, "Does that mean something?" she said simply. Part of her knew what he meant...but a deeper part of her was confused.
She understood a bit about the lowland aspect of his statement. She couldn't say she had heard great things about the region, but from her understanding, Tavor didn't seem to be the discribtion of anything remotely close to what she had heard. The club comment, though she would never admit it, was kind of insulting. What was so wrong with clubs? Her brother was a club, and he was a fantastic individual. Ilana was just the kind of person that didn't get caught up in the 'I'm this and that' phenomena that seemed to spread throughout the lands. Maybe it was because of her sheltered lifestyle...but all the same....she didn't see the issue behind this fact.
The sadness in his eyes was unbareible. It clenched her chest, and she made a small pained noise, as she found herself unable to breath, "Don't be sad...please..." she asked...her voice almost breaking.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 2, 2008 1:09:18 GMT -5
When she spoke his tail stilled, dark blue feathers fanning a bit at the utterly unexpected response he got and his whiskers crept forward again as well. Now he was even more unaware of what to do and ended up toying with her fur nervously, he couldn't reach his cape all tat well at the moment and .. .her fur was green after all ... suits she must have been sheltered if not even the lowland aspect of him bothered her, it was just ..... odd, but he couldn't bring himself to speak quite yet, and his ears remained at a somewhat dropped position.
That strange noise pulled his ears forward again though, and he felt bad once again, especially after she spoke again. He didn't want her to be sad because he was, that just wasn't right. He ceased the nervous twitching of his fingers to switch up the motion and run his claws comfortingly through her short fur, giving her a soft smile even if a bit of his former sadness still lingered there n his eyes.
I .... guess it doesn't .... if it .... doesn't to you. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 2, 2008 1:26:15 GMT -5
Ilana enjoyed the feeling of his hands in her fur, allowing her eyes to close a bit from enjoyment. She might have purred if she was a feline. It was more then just comforting, it was like she had been craving such a touch this entire time. She laid her head back on his chest and sighed a bit, "You don't believe me....do you? What reason would I have to lie to you? What do I have to gain from telling you such a thing and not having it be true?" she said, nuzzling her head into his wet fur. He smelled like forest, and she enjoyed it.
The rain drowned out the thoughts in her head for a moment, and she looked at the ground. It was turning muddy from all the rain. She wondered how long the rain would last. Would they drown in their little hiding place? "I'm sorry...I know...you probably don't feel the same way...and...I'm just being forward and awkward. You don't have to be nice...you can just tell me...and...I won't bring up this again..." She just continued to watch the rain outside after that. She was sad. Inside her body said to keep trying...trying for what? Did she really like this man that much? Did she really feel like this was the man for her? Her fast beating heart said yes, but in her mind it seemed strange that she could fall for anyone so quickly. Oh well, it didn't seem like he really liked her....so...she supposed she should try to get rid of her feelings now...before rejection got to her.
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Post by Kiki on Sept 2, 2008 9:59:12 GMT -5
FP and Kitty receive 1 token each, to be redeemed in Ashwin's Shoppe.
This will automatically be added to your recorded totals in the shoppe.
Congratulations, and keep up the good RP!
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Post by Kitty on Sept 3, 2008 0:02:04 GMT -5
Ilana ... it's not that I think you're lying to me ...
He shifted his ears and continued to run his claws gently through her fur as he tried to think of what he could say while not making her feel crazy, and not bring up anything to make him feel uncomfortable. There was a rather fine line between the two and it didn't exactly seem as if the situation was working in his favor either.
People just ... don't say things like that to me without it being a joke. But .... I don't think you're like that.
He sighed softly and dipped his head down a bit, placing his muzzle next to hers. His gaze didn't wander away from her face though, he was being serious and .... he really wasn't trying to make her feel awful, or crazy or anything like that ... it was just terribly hard for him to fully believe her. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 3, 2008 11:44:40 GMT -5
The feeling of his claws through her fur was confusing. On one hand, it was wonderful...she loved being petted...something that didn't happen often. It was reassuring, and showed some form of affection which she enjoyed. She loved the intimacy of touching, but on another hand it was making her upset. The part of her that loved the gesture so much, had a feeling that it would most certainly never happen again. Not if she allowed him to escape from her. What was inside her that was telling her to go for it? She wasn't a forward person at all, and it felt so against character to be almost pleading with the man to make him see it her way. She sighed at his words.
She found herself finally answering her questions with another. Would other men be like him? If she let him go...would she find another so seemingly perfect as him? Someone so similar to herself and so caring? No....she knew...people like this only came once in a lifetime. Not if she searched for the rest of her life...all over the world...would she find someone like Tavor. "No...I wouldn't joke about something like this..." she said softly, already feeling a bit defeated.
He was being nice, he was letting her down without telling her. She resigned to this thought and sighed once again. Fine, she wouldn't persue it further. She had made her plea, and while her entire self told her to keep going, keep trying, she didn't want to bother Tavor. Tavor was a nice man...and he didn't need this aggrivation. Her heart ached in a way that she had never felt before, and she couldn't help but allow her eyes to tear up, but she wouldn't cry. She didn't want to upset him.
As he placed his head against hers, she allowed herself a shaky sigh, one which expressed her inner turmoil a little to much. She closed her eyes, upset it had come out in such a fashion, and simply nuzzled his maw with hers. She craved that kind of touch, and she figured if she was going to say goodbye to the start of something, she might as well satisfy the little urges that might not upset Tavor so much.
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Post by Kitty on Sept 3, 2008 13:17:54 GMT -5
I don't .... think you are ... I just, well, I don't know what to do or say really ....
The shaky sigh puled his ears forward a bit more, suits he felt awful but he didn't even really know what he was trying to say really. What was he really trying to say anyhow? He felt like there should be something obvious, something he was missing and really shouldn't be, but he couldn't figure it out. He started to twitch his tail tip a bit again as a little nervous feeling started to bubble up in his stomach for no apparent reason. He really was missing something obvious, wasn't he?
The nuzzle made him feel a little worse... it seemed a little half hearted, a little sad .... and he knew she was sad because of him and he really didn't want that, not at all. He picked up his head and brought up a hand to stroke her cheek gently before letting out a little sigh of his own, a mildly frustrated one ... but it certainly wasn't because of her. Carefully he went to lift her gaze back to his and to lift her head a bit, he wanted her to be looking at him before he spoke.
What I'm really trying to say is .... I don't know what to do, or say really Ilana, I've always had ... so many other things to worry about that I ..... never really paid attention to ... h-how to talk to ... p-pretty girls.
He swallowed hard after that, nervous still and now ... well ... he felt like a total idiot to. That sounded .... so .... cheesy, didn't it? The feeling brought another flush to his cheeks.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Sept 3, 2008 13:36:01 GMT -5
"Well...what does your heart say?" she asked in responce to his confusion. It sounded like he was thinking to much, that maybe he just needed to be honest. Ilana wasn't getting her hopes up, she knew that if she did the pain would be worse when he let her down. He was letting her down, this she was sure of. Sometimes people just needed a change in perspective. This was not really a situation that could be settled solely by the brain. There was way to much heart in it. But if it wasn't there, as Ilana suspected, then it wasn't there.
She felt like her eyelids were holding back waves of tears, that at any moment, her chest would burst. Why was this so painful? It felt like part of her was being ripped out by the knowledge of their differing feelings. She had never felt this way before...and almost immidiately she made it worse for herself. She thought of her brother. Was this how he felt every day of his life? Seeing people...and caring about them to a confusing degree...and not having them return the feelings? God what a horrible exsistance her brother had. It was like she finally understood more about him...and she didn't like it. That made her finally cry. Tears poured down her face freely, as if the rain was coming down through her eyes now. Poor Aurelius. She almost wanted to forget the trip and go straight home to him...continue to take care of him.
She allowed her head to be manouvered to look at the rat mix, her eyes a bit red from the effort to not cry. She listened to him carefully, but blushed towards the end, "You think I'm...snf snf...pretty, Tavor?" she said sniffling inbetween words.
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