My Friend of Misery [Lucca] - [FIN!]

[Callypso]

The Corvie watched the Club anxiously pace the floor, the odd echo of his hooves filling the space and adding extra tension to the uncomfortable scene. Here was yet another unexpected display from the man and Iso had to assume that their interaction of months prior had weighed more heavily on him than she thought. Maybe she hadn’t been the only one that awoke from vivid dreams to stare into darkness.

Iso bristled at the furious tone and set her jaw against his point. She only just managed to keep at bay the quip that had jumped to her lips, only because you had to… It was true, he had grudgingly allowed her in his space, and she understood how it felt to have an unwelcome visitor disturbing the one place that was supposed to offer a repose from the daily struggle that was life.

Feeling the full brunt of his aggravation without aid from a pill was wearing on the Spade. Before, his outburst would merely have irritated her and she would have matched his every reply, but now she felt fear and indignation prickling at the base of her neck and down her spine. Even the goat seemed to recognize the strength of his passion and bit back his words.

The confrontation seemed to be taxing the Tulgey’s sensibilities as well, as he finally gave voice to his reservations. There was something else there, too. With a start, Iso realized he was terrified. Guilt was added to the lengthy list of emotions she was already juggling. She had thought she was done with that. Tears sprung to her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth, unable to put words to what she was feeling. This was fast getting beyond her.

Look, I- I don’t mean to be short with you. She looked away, slightly embarrassed. I know we’re both to blame. This isn’t easy to hear, and I’ve had more time than you to think this over and plan ahead. Iso looked back up, tears freely mingling with her fur though she still retained a hint of defiance.

If I’d taken better care of myself, this wouldn’t have happened. But merely regretting our actions doesn’t help either of us. The consequences are real. An edginess crept into her voice, And I’m keeping it… them… whatever. If I carry to full term,[/b] she added. It’s my mess to fix and… and I could never live with myself if I did otherwise. And clearly my options are limited. [/color] She gestured to her protruding belly to emphasize the point.

Her voice took on a note of pleading as she caught his gaze again. I’m scared, Aberforth. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve been cut off from everything from so long… I- I don’t want them to suffer for it.

Iso curled around herself, as much as her stomach would allow, and shivered. If he didn't... if they couldn't make this work... she didn't know what she would do.

[Lucca]

Aberforth wanted to scream at her. He wanted to rage. He wanted to demand why she was making herself so vulnerable in front of him. He was under no delusions about his own abilities. He knew he wasn't a very nice person to be around. A lot of it was purposeful. The rest was from simple apathy. So why was she even choosing him?

Why had what had happened that night even happened?

Why had he formed a connection with her? Why did he keep dreaming about it and wake up with an aching feeling in his chest? Why were his long-dead emotions putting up new shoots? He wanted to blame her, or himself, or anyone, just to stop from actually confronting the issue head on. She was scared? So was he! But he wasn't about to tell her that. He couldn't trust her with that. Couldn't trust her not to break his heart.

Ick, how stupid and cliche and romantic that sounded. But he knew she didn't care for him in the least...she just wanted help raising the children.

"I don't think my parenting is what's best for him. Or her." He couldn't quite bring himself to say 'them', and he rushed on before she could object to that statement. "But, if for some unidentifiable reason you actually want me to help anyway...I'll try." He stared at his hooves like they were the most interesting thing in the world just then, not meeting the doctor's eyes. His heart pounded in fear, because what he'd just said had taken a lot out of him, and if she accepted...

He couldn't even finish the thought, but he knew things would get...hard from here.

[Callypso]

Iso stared at the floor while the silence loomed around them. At first she had wanted to see whether common sense would win out, but then her practicality immediately kicked in and she wasn’t sure she wanted to see what was in those odd pink eyes. She was afraid that what she would find would not coincide with her own desires.

So she rocked herself back and forth and let the tears come to a slow halt. The Corvie wasn’t really sure herself why she was so insistent on being here, why she insisted on demanding something from this strange man. Perhaps it was the simple fact that he was the first Card she’d been close to, in one sense of the word, and somewhere buried in her subconscious she wanted to see where that went. Truth be told, she had no idea how she felt about Aberforth. As it stood, she really didn’t like him, but if he was anything like the person she had become in the course of her addiction… well, no wonder she hadn’t found anyone else.

Which was frankly rather depressing.

Perhaps what she really was searching for was that piece, that something, that single thread that had brought them together, and then maybe everything would all make sense. Because suits knew that nothing did now.

She finally looked up when his voice broke the silence and found him staring fixedly at the floor. Had she heard him correctly? Even it was a tentative agreement, it was honestly more than she had hoped for. And being honest and having hope were challenging enough on their own. Her heart pounded solidly in her chest as she gawked at the goat for a brief moment, then cleared her throat trying to compose herself.

I’d like that, she admitted quietly. I’m not any better suited for this than you are, but, well, you’re the father. I think you should be there. It wasn’t a particularly convincing argument, even to her, but it was supposed to mean something, wasn’t it? We won’t be entirely clueless- my Great-Aunt has agreed to, ah, tutor us in parenting. For the time being.

Iso closed her eyes, sighed, and sank back into the couch. Some of the tension that had been in her shoulders eased away, even though she knew there was much more to come, but for just this instance, it was nice to know that she wouldn’t be doing this on her own.

[Lucca]

Aberforth wasn't looking at Iso right then, but he could feel her eyes on him. He was sure she was about to just...laugh him off, or yell at him. He found himself tensing, gathering all the coldness and detachment he could to prepare himself for rejection, and...and that wasn't what he got. Startled, the Goat's head raised without his permission and wide, scared, intensely vulnerable pink eyes met hers, just for a moment, before his expression changed. It became even more closed off and remote than ever. His self-protection mechanism kicked in, and he refused to show any weakness.

Iso had already seen enough of his weakness, and that was what was eating at him. Because he knew with certainty that if even this Ferret no longer had any sort of faith in him...there was no point to going on. But if she did...if she did...perhaps he had some reason for actually living. It had been a long, long time since he'd have any reason other than convenience and routine to continue his life. Ending it all would be too dramatic and not worth it, because he knew too well to think death would bring him any peace, either.

"Very good," he said automatically, woodenly. And then...then there was nothing else. The silence was deafening and he felt his stomach rebelling again as he was forced to think about the future. A future with him and her and...a child. He swallowed thickly.

"Do you...need anything, doctor?" He looked up, not quite meeting her eyes, but focused on a point near her left ear. "Food. Drink. I don't have much but you did walk all this way." And you're pregnant, he didn't feel the need to add.

[Callypso]

It was a little disconcerting, seeing the goat’s stricken face slowly rise so they were finally looking each other eye-to-eye, just to have the emotion there cut off so abruptly. For a moment, Iso had seen what she presumed to be Aberforth’s true feelings. She didn’t know what was worse, knowing that they were both terrified, inexperienced parents-to-be, or the fact that even now the goat was keeping up his guard. Frankly, she didn’t really see the point. Not anymore. It seemed important before, when they were both in denial and off-kilter from their drug haze. But now they were going to be raising children. What harm was there in showing his apprehension?

She decided to leave it be. For now. There were other things to consider. Like how deflated she felt.

The ferret had been sure that this confrontation was going to end in something breaking, whether it was the few possessions Aberforth had… or someone’s skull. She had expected at least some sort of tantrum, from either side, but it never came. Certainly there were a few harsh words exchanged and a rollercoaster of emotions, but no explosion, no unfiltered rage. Nothing. Once more she was unsure how to process the current events. Maybe it was just the calm before the storm…

Oh. Ah, just water. Please. Habit had almost caused her to forget the pleasantry. She had always deemed such niceties unnecessary before, but now that she was bothering to address Cards as they were, and not mere inconveniences, she found that being polite got her much farther than her prickly demeanor ever had.

She waited for Aberforth to leave the room before allowing the exhaustion to kick in. Her shoulders visibly sagged and all she wanted was a nap. It bothered her that the Club still insisted on referring to her as “doctor”. It seemed a bit much now they was going to be the mother of his children, but it wasn’t important enough for her to address at the moment. Baby steps. Baby… She rubbed her still-damp face with a paw and just sat there, not thinking about anything, until the Tulgey returned.

Iso thanked him and thoughtfully sipped the simple beverage. The liquid felt nice and cool trickling down her throat. It was a small respite in the chaos of everything.

I think, perhaps, we ought to discuss how we’d like to proceed from here.

She left it at that, wanting him to take the lead now, as she felt she had done more than enough talking. If he was as averse to change as she was (probably more), he’d probably want to take things slowly. They had a little time yet to adjust to everything, and she thought he might want to make some decisions himself.

[Lucca]

To say Aberforth was averse to fighting or violence of any type would be an understatement. It was rather ironic, considering his current employment, but his first major case (and what had amounted to his first ever fight) had not gone well. He'd found that he had some emotional scars he'd never even known about, big ones too. He was to the point now where he could fight if he needed to (unless there was a lot of slinging of dangerous magic) but it was still never his preferred method.

Some Cards, he knew, would only respond to violence, and with violence, and knew nothing else. Aberforth held himself above that not because he was wiser than them (he knew he wasn't) but because he knew he wasn't a fighter, and certainly not a magician, and it was more prudent for him to avoid anything like that, if he could possibly help it.

So if Iso was expecting physical violence from the Goat, she had another thing coming. If he did let his anger get away from him, there would be posturing, lowering his horns, rearing up on his hind legs, and such, but that was more instinct than anything else. He nodded at her request, and got up, hoof-beats echoing all the way to the kitchen. He was grateful for the moment to think. Though it made his head ache and his stomach churn, he knew this wasn't going away, now. He'd have to learn to cope with this entirely new direction of his life. Something he'd never anticipated or suspected at all.

He wore the exact same expression coming out of the kitchen as going in, and he carried a tray carefully in his mouth, a glass of water and a mug of something hot on it. He held it out for his guest and waited until she took the water before setting the tray itself down on the coffee table (a surprisingly elaborate iron working instead of wood or glass) and sat in the chair opposite.

He took a sip of the calming tea and closed his eyes...though they opened again quickly enough when Iso spoke. He nodded, pressing his lips tightly, and took a steadying breath before speaking. "Indeed." He knew she wanted more than that...his brow crinkled slightly in thought. It was hard to push past his paranoia and distrust to be open, to share his thoughts and feelings on...this.

"If it's a girl, we should name her Kendra. For a boy....Albus." His expression was cold and remote, giving not the slightest hint of what was going through his mind as he spoke the names of his long-dead parents for the first time in many years.

[Callypso]

The hard part was over, at least, in a sense. She was still in his apartment, it hadn’t come to blows and they both seemed to be at least tolerating each other’s company. Recalling the nature of their last parting it was downright friendly. Well, it was a start, anyway. She wondered if they would ever talk about them, out of context of being future parents, but that was a subject even she didn’t want to broach. There were still stirrings of anger and remorse, and beside, they would now have plenty of time to come to terms with what they were to one another.

Now that she needn’t fear being chased out of his apartment, Iso let herself focus more on her surroundings. It was drab and gloomy by nearly anyone’s standards, but what drew her attention the most were the complicated wrought-iron pieces that looked as though they were worked by the same hand. They were beautiful, really, and seemed to be the only objects in the house that had any personality. Interesting.

Iso went to take another sip of water and found herself blinking in surprise at the turn in conversation. She cringed and a very small, wry smile curled her lips.

Ah, I hadn’t even thought that. Names, I mean. She paused for a moment. Kendra… Albus… she tested out his suggestions, getting a feel for them. She supposed they were as good a name as any, really

The Tulgey didn’t strike her as the type to sit around fantasizing about his future happy family, so it amazed her that his first thought would be their children’s names. Even more bewildering was that the topic at hand was certainly one of the last on her list. She supposed it was her scientific training that was responsible for her viewing the situation from an objective viewpoint, since her mind had organized the situation as set of problems with a various set of solutions to be tested.

Ah, forgive me, but I hadn’t judged you for someone who’d have thought that through. Is there some particular relevance to the names?

[Lucca]

Aberforth had expected such a question, but he still had to give himself an extra minute to make sure his emotions wouldn't show through in his voice before answering. "They were my parents," he said gruffly, unable to fully keep -something- from his voice. Honestly, he hoped Iso would kind of gloss over the past tense. He didn't want pity or sympathy. He didn't really want it acknowledged at all, for fear of bringing up the old pain. His parents' deaths had hit him hard, and were largely the reason he was so withdrawn...at least, the circumstances surrounding the tragedy were.

Now that he'd said his piece on the names, Aberforth wanted nothing more than to move on from that subject. Sipping at his tea and then quickly putting the cup down when he noticed he was trembling slightly, he cleared his throat. "So. Is there going to be any...moving around? I mean...if we are doing this together...will we be...together?" It was the Goat's very awkward way of asking Iso if one of them was going to move in with the other after the birth.

[Callypso]

Iso immediately regretted her question. Though Aberforth, as per usual, kept his face a mask devoid of emotion, she couldn’t mistake the roughness that was in his voice. It was peculiar how she was able to pick up on his subtleties, but perhaps because his behavior was so much like her own. Used to be. Was trying to overcome. Ugh. As she wasn’t quite adept at nonsense comforts, she decided to simply steer the conversation toward herself.

Namesakes. It would be nice if we could incorporate my grandfather’s name as well. Tonka. Sadness crept into her eyes even though her words were fond. He was my mentor.

Not wanting to linger on painful memories, she was thankful that Aberforth was quick to change the subject. Another shock arrived, however, as the Tulgey offered to voluntarily co-habitate with her. Iso hadn't planned that far ahead, considering she wasn't sure she could even convince him to speak with her. The last thing she expected, however, was for them to have a home together. One of her ears twitched as she processed that for a moment. Huh.

That depends. I don’t expect anything to change too quickly. She didn’t think either of them could handle that. This apartment is probably too small for a family. The house I inherited – you’ve been there – [/b]her voiced trailed off before quickly picking up again – There’s room enough, but it’s in dire need of repair.[/color] A sour expression crossed her face. I have yet to find someone adequate for the task. We could sell – again, her voiced trailed away.

The house was her last connection to her brother. And her lab. Whatever had changed in her behavior lately had no impact on her love for her work. Despite the many problems with her current workspace, she had grown quite attached. Iso wasn't sure she wanted to give up too many things at once, but then again, she was asking a lot from Aberforth. More sacrifices would have to be made.

Well, whatever's best the child.

[Lucca]

Aberforth nodded quickly. Tonka. That could do as a middle name, and they could probably find a female variation if they had a daughter. He wasn't surprised that Iso had lost someone too...after all, he was sure she had that whole 'loner' vibe for a reason. Most Cards didn't start off that way. Not even he had. It was just one of the responses to losing someone...or losing everyone, really, in his case.

The Goat looked at her for a moment, eyes distant, but thoughtful. "The child will most likely be of Corvistowne, like you. A lab would be a good asset." He wouldn't mind giving up his apartment, if he had to...he had no great attachment to the place other than as somewhere he could get his solitude and the place there he had rested and worked at his blacksmithing for the past year.

He shrugged. "I could attempt to help with the repairs," he offered dully, though inwardly he was a bit...relieved might have been too strong, or perhaps too weak of a word. It was some sort of feeling he wasn't used to...the feeling of actually being accepted. "Outside of iron work I'm not as practiced, but I used to repair the odd house or window back when blacksmithing was my trade." It was more information about himself than Iso had really gotten before (save for -that night-, of course) but it wasn't something Aberforth felt the real need to hide. It had been his past profession, after all, and he'd kept those skills sharp over the past year by making little things.