Post by Greenie on Feb 28, 2008 21:22:37 GMT -5
I was told to do something fun, and this is what Spidey prompted me to write. Therefore any noncoherency or general silliness is all on her shoulders.
----
Pascha was utterly and completely bored. This was a state he found himself in quite often, much to his chagrin, especially on weekends when Aderlass was off relaxing and the Courts were, at least to some degree, calm. On these days the owl often found himself going out to the gardens and relaxing--sometimes in trees, sometimes just in the grass--because you never knew what you would find out there.
Today he had found a rabbit. Not a Rabbit, mind you--if he'd found one of those, he would have been sure to either a) find it someone more important to.. bother.. or b) run away and hope he made it. Pascha wasn't entirely sold on the existance of Rabbits; but he'd lived in Tulgey, and once you've lived in Tulgey you'll have a hard time doubting less than reputable things.
Regardless, this was a rabbit. (Not a card-rabbit, either, it was a rabbit, and about the size of his foot.) It was a very, very ugly rabbit. It was a grey color, covered in mud, and it looked like it hadn't eaten lately either. Pascha had been leaning up against a tree when he'd spotted it; the thing was so weakened that it wasn't even bothering to be skittish and run away from him. It just sat a few feet away and tried to nibble on some grass.
At first, Pascha was very annoyed with this rabbit.
Why did it not eat, when it was so obviously hungry? And why didn't it go jump in a river and clean itself off, for cripes' sake? IT hadn't been locked in it's crazy uncle's lab for years and not been allowed to bathe, now had it? The thing was perfectly free to go find some water and shake itself off, and then go find itself a perfectly lovely feast of whatever greenery it wanted. It could frolick happily and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER, DAMNIT.
But no. This stupid rabbit was sitting there, emaciated and filthy, and it was barely even trying to survive. Why, he could just pick the thing up and eat it and it probably wouldn't even notice until it was dead, and who noticed things after they died?
... Well, okay--PASCHA wouldn't pick it up and eat it, but SOMEONE ELSE might! (He generally avoided eating filthy things out of the gardens--who know who peed where around here?) For that matter, any non-sentient animal could be stupid and come in and eat it! (For that matter, the rabbit itself might have peed on itself because it was too silly to go pee elsewhere, and who wanted to eat a rabbit that had peed on itself?) It wasn't even trying to hide under a bush! Good thing it was daytime or a dumb owl might try to swoop in and ea--wait. Waiiiit.
Okay, it was time for a new train of thought.
Pascha stared at the rabbit for a few more minutes, then flopped over onto his stomach in order to have his face level with the creature. The rabbit stared balefully at him as it sluggishly chewed a weed it had found, but otherwise gave no indication that Pascha was bothering it in the least.
"WHY AREN'T YOU FLUFFY?!" He suddenly yelled at the creature, overwhelmed with an intense desire to... go give it a bath, of all the pathetic things. "Rabbits are supposed to be FLUFFY! You are a scrawny, pathetic, disgusting excuse for a bunny, and you don't even care, do you? You're just going to wait around here and chew on your leaves until some dumbass beast comes alongs and eats you, just so you can die." Pascha stated this quietly but just as forcefully--a voice in the back of his head told him that perhaps he should be quieter lest he be labelled as more insane than he previously was, but who listened to the voices of reason anyways? Fuck sanity!
The owl let his head fall to the ground with a thump, but once his forehead began throbbing, he decided that hadn't been a good idea. He let his face lay in the grass for a few minutes until he looked up once more--the rabbit was still seemingly glaring at him, if bunny rabbits really felt emotions such as sarcastic annoyance.
Perhaps they did.
Finally, Pascha sat up and grabbed the rabbit. It didn't bother squeaking or even wiggling--was this really a wild rabbit? Perhaps someone's pet had gotten loose?--but continued staring at him, it's limbs totally limp. "Pathetic! Excuse! For! A! Rabbit!" He growled,then got up and held it close to his chest and went off to give it a bath and nurse it back to health.
----
Pascha was utterly and completely bored. This was a state he found himself in quite often, much to his chagrin, especially on weekends when Aderlass was off relaxing and the Courts were, at least to some degree, calm. On these days the owl often found himself going out to the gardens and relaxing--sometimes in trees, sometimes just in the grass--because you never knew what you would find out there.
Today he had found a rabbit. Not a Rabbit, mind you--if he'd found one of those, he would have been sure to either a) find it someone more important to.. bother.. or b) run away and hope he made it. Pascha wasn't entirely sold on the existance of Rabbits; but he'd lived in Tulgey, and once you've lived in Tulgey you'll have a hard time doubting less than reputable things.
Regardless, this was a rabbit. (Not a card-rabbit, either, it was a rabbit, and about the size of his foot.) It was a very, very ugly rabbit. It was a grey color, covered in mud, and it looked like it hadn't eaten lately either. Pascha had been leaning up against a tree when he'd spotted it; the thing was so weakened that it wasn't even bothering to be skittish and run away from him. It just sat a few feet away and tried to nibble on some grass.
At first, Pascha was very annoyed with this rabbit.
Why did it not eat, when it was so obviously hungry? And why didn't it go jump in a river and clean itself off, for cripes' sake? IT hadn't been locked in it's crazy uncle's lab for years and not been allowed to bathe, now had it? The thing was perfectly free to go find some water and shake itself off, and then go find itself a perfectly lovely feast of whatever greenery it wanted. It could frolick happily and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER, DAMNIT.
But no. This stupid rabbit was sitting there, emaciated and filthy, and it was barely even trying to survive. Why, he could just pick the thing up and eat it and it probably wouldn't even notice until it was dead, and who noticed things after they died?
... Well, okay--PASCHA wouldn't pick it up and eat it, but SOMEONE ELSE might! (He generally avoided eating filthy things out of the gardens--who know who peed where around here?) For that matter, any non-sentient animal could be stupid and come in and eat it! (For that matter, the rabbit itself might have peed on itself because it was too silly to go pee elsewhere, and who wanted to eat a rabbit that had peed on itself?) It wasn't even trying to hide under a bush! Good thing it was daytime or a dumb owl might try to swoop in and ea--wait. Waiiiit.
Okay, it was time for a new train of thought.
Pascha stared at the rabbit for a few more minutes, then flopped over onto his stomach in order to have his face level with the creature. The rabbit stared balefully at him as it sluggishly chewed a weed it had found, but otherwise gave no indication that Pascha was bothering it in the least.
"WHY AREN'T YOU FLUFFY?!" He suddenly yelled at the creature, overwhelmed with an intense desire to... go give it a bath, of all the pathetic things. "Rabbits are supposed to be FLUFFY! You are a scrawny, pathetic, disgusting excuse for a bunny, and you don't even care, do you? You're just going to wait around here and chew on your leaves until some dumbass beast comes alongs and eats you, just so you can die." Pascha stated this quietly but just as forcefully--a voice in the back of his head told him that perhaps he should be quieter lest he be labelled as more insane than he previously was, but who listened to the voices of reason anyways? Fuck sanity!
The owl let his head fall to the ground with a thump, but once his forehead began throbbing, he decided that hadn't been a good idea. He let his face lay in the grass for a few minutes until he looked up once more--the rabbit was still seemingly glaring at him, if bunny rabbits really felt emotions such as sarcastic annoyance.
Perhaps they did.
Finally, Pascha sat up and grabbed the rabbit. It didn't bother squeaking or even wiggling--was this really a wild rabbit? Perhaps someone's pet had gotten loose?--but continued staring at him, it's limbs totally limp. "Pathetic! Excuse! For! A! Rabbit!" He growled,then got up and held it close to his chest and went off to give it a bath and nurse it back to health.
I enjoyed reading this. XD "Fuck sanity!"