When In Rome... [Finished]

[The Jenn]

Note: He's about fourteen at the time.

Lior looked down at his plate, the smooth ceramic surface almost licked clean in his hunger for a nice, warm meal. That food was currently weighing heavily on his stomach, however, the taste lingering in his mouth somehow less appetizing than it was in going down. It was a smaller portion regardless, his uncle having impressed upon him the importance of staying on a strict diet if he wanted to be able to fly someday. He really, truly did want to be able to fly... and he took the hint that was implied, that his uncle was probably just far too nice to say.

You aren't skinny like your sister. Or even your papa or your uncle. And you don't have muscles like your father. You're completely and utterly mediocre. Do something about it.

He swallowed hard, suddenly feeling absolutely disgusted with himself for eating so much and so quickly. "Please excuse me," he murmured, smiling, before slipping off of his stool and out the door. From there, it was only a short walk to an exit and into the gardens, finding a secluded little corner by two flowering bushes where he could try to bring it all back up. He needed it out, quickly, before it started to 'sink in' and digest. It was just like dealing with an especially threatening hairball...

His weight remained stubbornly consistent no matter what he did, no matter how much he threw up. He couldn't bring himself to do it as often as he thought he should, hating the taste and the smell and the sight of it. But... he supposed that if he didn't do it, he would just get chubby and then fat and he would never be able to fly, just like his uncle warned him about. He was a cat, which meant he wasn't supposed to normally fly anyway. So he had to be extra careful. He heaved, tasting bile and all sorts of other unpleasantness.

[Spiderfly]

Linda watched her brother slip from the table. She didn't eat like the rest of them but still she sat with the family when they had a chance. It was a good time to catch up on court doings and politics. Papa and Lior weren't much for it but her father, when in a good mood didn't seem to mind discussing things with her. Though a lot of the time, he minded very much. She always seemed to be able to tell when she should ask and when she could leave it alone.

She nodded a slight apology before lowering her body from the chair and onto the floor. Quietly she followed Lior out and into the gardens. Linda smiled a bit, perhaps he was going for a quick walk to help settle dinner. She had been watching him for a while and he always seemed to be so careful of what he ate. Dreams of flying as an adult she guessed.

He disappeared from view and she raised up above the flowers quickly, worried. Until she saw his form hunched over a little ways away. She moved over quickly, had he hurt himself? That's when Linda heard the sound of wretching, and noticed the tip of his wing being removed from his mouth.

"Lior!" She screamed, horrified and worried beyond belief. What would possess him to do something so foul to himself?

"Lior no! No no no Don't do that to yourself!" Her voice broke, barely audible between hisses.

[The Jenn]

The feline choked on his vomit mid-heave and coughed, making a horrible mess and hunching his shoulders further to try and hide himself from view until his stomach stopped heaving. It was a futile attept, his sister in a prime position to see his shame, and he took a few deep breaths as soon as he was able. Then he spit once or twice to rid his mouth of residue and wished desperately that he could run to the pond and rinse it out. But... not with her there, so close, golden eyes wide and taking in every action.

She saw it. Of course she saw it. She seemed to see everything with enough gentle coaxing or harsh questions, depending on the person.

One wing came up to shield him from view for another few precious seconds, the action in and of itself shameful in its weakness, much less what it was trying and failing to hide. He closed his eyes, tears threatening but he pushed them back where no one could see them. One more spit, and then he pulled his wing back, turning to face her with a small smile. He was getting very good at smiling when he felt miserable.

He couldn't lie to her... he hated lying, could always feel when people did it, and it just made things worse most of the time. "Hello... Linda." His voice was smooth and calm, not even a tremble. He felt disgusted with himself for being proud. She never had to put up a front. When she did something, she meant it. He could always feel when they didn't mean it... and she almost always meant it. He wished he knew how she did it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull you away from dinner."

[Spiderfly]

She wibbled, slightly unsure for once. Unsure if what she just saw had really happened, it was so horrible. Unsure of how to proceed to not break what she knew was a fragile front for her brother. It was that front that would save him in the future, and she couldn't shatter it. But, she always got the feeling that he knew when she was being too nice, and it hurt him more. Honesty it was, perhaps it was the only thing that could fix a problem before it got too bad.

"Lior. . Why?" She slithered closer, tears in her reptilian eyes. Desperately Linda wished she had limbs, arms like their parents. She wanted to pick him up and craddle him close. To whisper to him until whatever demons possessed him to do that were gone.

"You know I love you right?" She asked quietly, tears now streaming down her scales, glistening unshed as they hung at her jaw.

"I don't care about dinner, are . . are you okay?" She asked, so very worried. "What would ever possess you to do something like that? Flying is not worth hurting yourself. We can not fly together? Okay?" Her voice continued to break, but she didn't want to move closer to rub against him if he didn't want her to.

[The Jenn]

Those tears, they cut him to the quick. He kept his little smile in place, but inside it was like a knife shoving itself into his heart. Not only could he not avoid the food like he wished he could in order to be as beautiful as the rest of his family, but he was upsetting his sister to the point of tears in the process.

Every word she spoke rang with truth. He just knew she believed every word. "I know, and I love you too, Lin. I'm sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to. Please don't cry. I'm sorry." Sorry he wasn't the brother he knew she deserved. No... he was the brother who made her cry. His wings clung to his back like a second skin, so tightly drawn in that it was almost painful. They served as a constant reminder. "I just need to watch what I eat. You know that. Uncle tells us all the time, and I ate too much today. Really, it's okay."

He stood, feeling trapped in her tear-filled gaze, desperately wishing there was something he could do to calm her down and stop her from crying. She didn't need to cry or to worry, not over him. She had enough to worry about. He refused to be another worry on her plate. He would have to be more careful next time.

[Spiderfly]

". . Please don't smile Lior. I . . I can tell you don't want to smile." She moved forwards the rest of the way and curled around his leg, fighting to get beneath his wings to make him relax. She could tell it must hurt, to pinch anything that tight. Like sucking in your gut too much for too long. Linda pulled away enough that she could see his face from a comfortable distance.

"You know you can be sad right? It's not a bad thing. Who cares about father and papa? You can be sad around me and I won't mind." More tears fell but now her voice was under control. Maybe if he could be sad around her he wouldn't have to hide it and hurt himself. Maybe they could go on a new diet together. She was lucky as a snake, barely having to eat to maintain herself, her body weight never really fluctuating.

But he had a hard time. She was sure if Papa remembered to eat during work he'd be at just the same size as Lior, but he forgot. It wasn't his fault it just wasn't a priority. But to Lior, a young boy growing with a body that heated itself so much, food was important. She hissed, knowing Bernard only put him on a diet to try and help. So he could feel the beauty of flight even though he wasn't truly built for it. But it wasn't this important.

"It's not that important Lior. . it isn't. Please just, don't do it again? I . . I can help! I can do something with you, exercise! Then you don't have to cut your food!" She said excitedly, hoping she had found an answer to the problem.

[The Jenn]

Lior's muscles would feel tense as she slithered around his leg, but he forced himself to relax a little bit. If she was going to touch him, she'd know very well that his smile was a complete lie just by feeling how uncomfortable he was. His wings slowly released their tense grip on his back and sides, leaving small imprints behind on his fur and the skin beneath. Nothing too bad; it probably wouldn't even bruise. He'd done far worse by accident when he was younger.

His smile flickered at her words, wavering somewhere between a smile and a grimace before it just went out, leaving him with something very... sad in its place. He wished he could hold onto that smile, but it just wasn't coming. He couldn't get excited right now. It was so sweet that she was trying to help and he knew it should feel good, that some part of him should feel happy even with guilt, but he just couldn't feel it.

"You may not mind, but I do. You're sweet, Lin. I don't want to waste your time. If it makes you that unhappy, I won't do it again. Okay? Just don't worry about it anymore. It's okay." He leaned over and licked her cheek, then tried to carefully disentangle his legs from her lithely muscular grip.

[Spiderfly]

She relented with a tilt of her head and moved down and off of him. Linda had always felt so comfortable wrapped around her brother, stealing warmth and comfort through her young day's nights. But lately more and more he had been drawing away from her and it broke her heart. She knew that father and papa were in a way cruel, especially to Lior. But she also knew their softer sides, perhaps something Lior hadn't seen in a long time, if ever, from Father.

"It's not a waste of time Lior. You're my brother remember? Neither of us have to be happy all of the time. And when we're not we can come to each other right? . .. We just can't let papa or father find out." She grinned at what to her was an obvious joke. Anyone that knew their parents would know she spoke the truth.

It wasn't that she wanted to hide the fact that she was helping her brother. She simply wanted to keep their relationship their own, with no one else's opinions counting for anything.

"I love you Lior" She smiled softly as best she could with her reptilian mouth.

[The Jenn]

"Love you too, Lin," he said again with a quiet sigh. Damn... he needed to dredge that smile back up, if only to show her that nothing was wrong, even though everything seemed to be more and more wrong of late. He didn't know what it was, whether things really were getting worse or whether it was something in his head or what, but it seemed harder and harder to mean it when he smiled.

Still, if he could smile for anyone, he could smile for his sister. "I'll come and see you more often when I feel this way, since you won't... tell anyone." Anyone including their parents, their uncles, their half-siblings, the whole palace... anyone. Linda was good at keeping secrets. He wished he was half so good. Not even this purging could be kept a secret from her. Again, though, that just seemed an intrinsic part of 'Linda'.

He would come to see her more often about it, but now that they were getting older it seemed that Father and Uncle Bernard were taking up more and more of her time with lessons. He knew Papa would be more than willing to show him a few things, since he wasn't any good at magic and politics made him unhappy, but he didn't think he could watch Papa work for long without getting upset.

"We should probably go back inside for dessert before anyone starts wondering if anything's amiss," he finally murmured, a small smile on his furry muzzle.

[Spiderfly]

She closed her eyes and let her tongue flick out, tasting the air. They opened again and she watched her brother and nodded. "Good. I never want anything bad to happen to you." She smiled warmly and moved back and forth a little, a happy habit of hers.

It definately wouldn't do for either parent to find out what had happened out in the courtyard. Father would be angry, though probably not for the reasons he should be. And Papa would just sneer and start pushing Lior harder. He seemed slightly determined to claim his son as his own in every way.

The cat wasn't good at magic and therefore Pravus figured he should work with him in the dungeons. Or be out helping to gather suspected traitors. Pravus seemed to want so very badly for his son to grow up like him, even though at first he had tried to shield his children from what occured in the dungeons.

Linda nodded again absently. "Yes lets. And tonight, we can read through some of our books together!" She turned happily to lead the way back to the family table.

(want to end it here? ^^)