Explaining Her Actions (Finished!)

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((Jenn, if you feel like popping in later just lemmie know. <3))

The journey back to the courts was a long and rather stressful one. When Rhiannon had been making the trip on her own, she could move at her own pace, long legs letting her run long distances without getting too terribly tired. She knew her own limits perfectly.

This was a very different trip. She was accompanied by her two 5-year-old children, and they wore out far faster than she ever did. The entire journey was divided by long periods of rest and distraction by new and interesting things. She could feel Apocalypse getting more and more irate with the frequent side-adventures, but Rhiannon did her best to keep her temper in check. After all, it was their first trip outside of the apartment and she was sure the world was huge and absolutely incredible to their young eyes.

When the trio finally arrived at the Court, the children were exhausted - too tired even to question their mother, which Rhiannon was ever so thankful for. It was the middle of the night and the woman slipped in quietly, bringing the two children into her own bed with her.

They would sleep better this first night by her side.

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Thin and shaky limbs were stretched luxuriously as the first beams of morning sun fell upon them, and the child stretched out happily. Ever since they had arrived at this wonderfully rich place, Kieran's mother had seemed much more at ease with the world, and the sunlight here was absolutely divine. He had never felt so absolutely full and happy in his life! He had his own bed, even, though it was fairly small and sometimes he tried to sneak into bed alongside Rhiannon and, if she was around, Rhiannon's pretty Queen Xiven. Only when he had nightmares, of course.

There was something that was missing, though, something that bothered him more than his five-year-old vocabulary really knew how to express. Where was his papa? Where were Jak, Dell, and Amhal? Why had he been told not to tell anyone about.. any of them?

It was with a purposeful expression that he set off down the hallway, looking for his mother. He wasn't paying much attention and his sense of sight wasn't very good to begin with, and so he let out a quiet mewl of surprise when he tripped over something... Squishy.

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Rhiannon scanned the papers again, her brows furrowing slightly as she mentally crunched the numbers one more time. This wasn't exactly what she'd been expecting when she signed on as Xiven's King, but she didn't mind the work one bit - it was important, and she was helping the feline out by putting the time into it. It also provided her with a convinient excuse to avoid talking to the children about where their and siblings father were, when they were coming back, and why they had taken so long to return.

Well. Why their father had taken so long to return, at the very least. She hoped that if she put off telling them for long enough, she would have the answer to at least that question.

She jumped at the feeling of tiny paws tripping across her own feet, blinking wide amber eyes at the strange mewl that filled her mind. "Kieran?![/b]" she exclaimed, sounding more than a little surprised when she found herself staring down at the hybrid that was peering up at her and smiling nervously. "Baby, is something wrong?[/b]" she was quick to jump out of the chair and nose her child. He has been sound asleep just a minute ago.. had he had another nightmare?

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Kieran quickly realized that the limb he'd tripped over did, in fact, belong to the person who he had been looking for, so he stopped his confused crying quickly and stared up at her. The mask his mother and father had given him was large but comfortable, and they had told him that it would be good for him to wear it... so he believed them, and now he hardly ever complained about having to wear it. When his mother nosed at him he began to purr softly, butting his head against her own reassuringly.

"No, mama, nothing's the matter." he replied, not wanting her to worry, his long tail giving a small and reassuring wag as he continued to rub his long body against her snout. "But I miss papa and Amhal and Dell and Jak. When will they be here? Why couldn't they come with us?"

He knew he was asking quite a lot of his mother, especially since she'd worked so hard to say nothing at all in regards to the rest of their family. He looked up at her expectantly - he'd cornered her, hadn't he? She couldn't get out of answering his questions now.

~~~

Treasa was watching.

She stood on her hind legs, forelimbs hooked over the windowsill as she looked out on the garden outside. It was bright and beautiful, and her wide golden eyes ate up every little bit of the view. Kieran had gotten up to leave, but she had opted to stay where she was - sometimes, the gardener would walk by around now. She loved to watch him hard at work.

She loved to watch people doing what they did with their lives. Her entire life, short as it was, had been spent locked in the apartment, which had been fine, but was a little stuffy. Here in the court, life bustled all around her. She saw people of all different colors and delightful shapes - all she'd known was bat, coyote, and feline. Here, she saw birds, domestic canines, people with hard feet that clopped against the stones, and once a person with horns and no legs!

She was enamored with the world.

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At Kieran's words, Rhiannon stiffened. So it was finally time for that conversation, was it?

She stared down at her son, knowing that he was a smart boy and it would be very difficult to get anything but the truth past him. Unless, of course, his sister was around. Treasa would believe whatever her mother told her without question and her emotions would help to sway Kieran towards believing whatever Rhiannon told them. Her yellow eyes went dull. So first she abandoned three of her children, and now she lied to the two that she had left and attempted to emotionally manipulate them into believing her?

She was a disgusting person, but she needed to keep strong.

"Where's your sister?[/b]" Rhiannon said faintly, gently nudging the purring boy again. "Go find her. We'll all sit in my big bed and I'll tell you, okay?[/b]"

While he looked for the girl, she'd have a chance to gather her thoughts.

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Kieran's ears flicked backwards slightly and his unseeing face continued to stare up at her. He could make out the fuzzy outline of her body and could see the way her posture had changed at his question. What in the Hills was going on with her? He could feel a little bit of fear bubbling up in his chest, and he rubbed his face all across his mother's broad chest. He wanted to know what had happened, but he didn't want her to be sad... Growing up with Dell, he'd grown to fear sadness in all its forms, for not only did it leave his belly aching it caused the full-bat to fly into senseless rages.

"Sa is looking through the window again, mama," the boy relied a little softly. At the promise of laying in the big bed together he felt his mood brighten. It would be like it was when they were little, just missing the other half of the sandwich and most of the filling - their papa and siblings. It would still be better than nothing. "I'll be right back, mama."

And with that, the little Highlander went skipping off as best he could in search of his sister.

~~~

Treasa was right where he'd left her, staring with joy through the window. The gardener had come, and her tail was wagging with excitement as she watched him walking around the yard, watering and tending to all of the plants. When her brother entered the room, she swung her head around to look at him, mouth open with a smile. "K-Kieran! T-the gardener's o-out there again, K-Kieran!" she exclaimed joyfully, leaping down from the window and trotting over to her brother. "Come watch him with me!"

Her brother shook his head, nudging her softly. "Not now, Sa... Mama wants to talk to us." the little canine's brow furrowed with worry at those words, but she only nodded in reply, following her brother to their mother's room without another word.

Was papa coming back?

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Rhiannon waited in her room exactly where the boy had left her, lost in her own thoughts. They would be back soon. She knew what she was going to tell them, but she had no idea how exactly she should go about it. She also had no idea what to tell them about Lior. Apocalypse sighed softly, comforting her. "Just tell them he's dealing with it and that he'll be back as soon as he can.[/i]" The scythe was as logical as he always had been. She had grown to rely on his advice whenever her own mind was clouded with emotion. "Lie if you have to. Tell them he sent you a letter and that he's fine.[/i]"

Rhiannon could feel her hair bristle slightly. It was a good thought. The children didn't need to know that she had heard absolutely nothing from the man, didn't need to feel the worry she felt every time she went to sleep. "Stay close, Pale. I need you for this.[/b]"

She could hear footsteps approaching her door so she perked up, putting her mask up once again, lifting her head. The smile that crossed her face wasn't entirely falsified. She really did feel joy whenever she saw her two children. As soon as she'd gotten them away from the... others, her fondness for them grew exponentially. She knew the same would happen for Lior once he returned. "Come on, my loves, I got out the fluffy blankets. We'll cuddle in them.[/b]" her voice was gentle. How could you prepare children for what she was about to tell them?

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The fluffy blankets? To the two Highland children, this could mean one of two things. Either the news she was going to give them was very good, or very bad. To Kieran, this was fine. He could deal with bad news, and was excited to snuggle in the silky blankets with his mother. He needed that kind of closeness. He trotted into the room, nuzzlign his mother before leaping up onto her bed, rolling onto his back and waving his paws in the air in an attempt to lure them into the bed beside him.

Treasa's face creased with anxiety and she hesitated in the doorway as Kieran cheerfully stepped in. She was a much more sensitive child, and the idea of bad news made her heart flutter uncomfortably. She didn't make any moves towards slipping into the room until her mother came to her side, gently brushing the child into the room with her snout and helping her up into the bed.

Treasa and Kieran snuggled close, innocent faces turned towards their mother as she curled around them comfortingly. When they were close like this, they could take on the world and all its bad news.

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Looking down at those upturned faces, Rhiannon felt sure that her heart would shatter into a million pieces if she went through with telling them what she needed to. For a minute, she considered telling them that everything was just fine and that papa and their siblings would be here soon, very soon. Apocalypse snarled in her mind. "Lie to them, but don't make them think that.[/i]" he growled, sounding very dangerous to her ears. "You'd get their little hopes up, and then what would they think when Lior returns without their beloved siblings?[/i]" She took a deep breath, nuzzling both of the children.

"My loves... Remember how you always had to stay in the apartment when you were younger?[/b]" both children nodded, and Rhiannon gave them both a kiss on their golden heads, sighing softly. This was far harder than it should be and she dimly wondered if her ability would protect her from emotional pain as well. "You and your brothers and sister were all very sick. You're finally better, and that's why you're here now.[/b]" she smiled reassuringly at them, as she could see the fear that had begun to cross their faces at the notion they had been sick.

She was quiet for a moment, and the pangs of sorrow she felt only grew stronger, making it impossible for her to speak. "D-Dell, Jak, and Amhal... They were very sick. Your papa took them to Corvistowne, but...[/b]" she couldn't say it. She just couldn't say it. Shit, what was wrong with her that she would put herself in a situation where this would be necissary? She was so stupid, so stupid... And she was crying. This was so bloody embarassing.

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The woman didn't need to finish for her children to understand. Treasa blinked wide and horrified eyes, staring at her mother. Their siblings were... gone. They knew about death - there was no way for them to get around it with their father's condition - and with the way the normally stoic hybrid had broken down, it meant only one thing could have happened to their siblings.

They had died.

The girl began to sob, great, violent sobs shaking her thin frame as she thought of her siblings. They couldn't be dead, just couldn't be... Her emotion filled the room. "B-but... they c-can't be! W-we survived, w-why not them?" Rhiannon couldn't answer, only cradled the girl closer. She could hope that her children, young as they were, would be able to recover from the pain of loss faster than Rhiannon could.

Kieran's face continued to stare at his mother. Gone? It didn't seem possible... but with Sa as emotion as she was he couldn't consider it, just flicked his ears back and set about comforting his sister as best he could.

The trio fell asleep like that, clinging to each other, sorrow exhausting them.