Post by Vyn on Mar 21, 2009 1:13:37 GMT -5
Author: Vyn
Characters: Mephit, references to Pravus, Xiven, Pale
Setting: Shortly after Pravus's death
Word Count: 820 (not including lyrics)
Lyrics: Parasite, Not Over by Deathboy
(Cauterized)
The sight of Pravus, broken and gone, left Mephit with a strange feeling budding in her chest. Fino's death had been one thing, but she hadn't been very close to him. Pravus though... The sight of him made something snap deep in Mephit's chest and, in its stead, a slow and painful void had begun to spread. Immediately Mephit blocked it out, the feeling was something she knew but hadn't felt and it simply wasn't time to deal with it. The Court was breaking down again, she had other things that needed attending to. Besides... Everyone had seen it coming, hadn't they? She'd cared about Pravus -- fine, whatever, it was true -- but in the end he was dead and probably much happier with his Queen than without.
It had been a long time coming, after all.
So she ignored it, and focused fully on Xiven. ...Or, rather, she tried to until the Torquehelm stormed off; she wanted to brew in her own misery. Being left along with Pale didn't help ignoring whatever mysterious feeling was building within her. She didn't know how to deal with him, sending him back to Rhi would have made him whole but Mephit wasn't even entirely sure she cared then and there. She probably wasn't allowed to either, but just standing there wasn't helping anything. So she simply excused herself and left.
She wasn't even aware of where she was going until she arrived at the door to her own quarters. The weird ache, the compressing emptiness, hadn't stopped but had only grown with each passing moment and, for the first time since arriving at the Court, Mephit wanted nothing more than to be inside and to be behind the safety of locked doors that held in secrets. The moment the sound of the lock clicking echoed through the room, Mephit felt all the pain in her chest suddenly amplify into something that was unimaginable, something unbearable.
The doe gasped, shoving away from the door and storming toward the bed. Everything was spinning and all she could see was red. Everything was wrenching in all sorts of horrible and confusing ways and getting worse by the second. Horrible, empty, aching,.. She'd never felt anything like it before, and she'd never wanted to. Stupid, sentimental, aching, lonely... Selfish.
Love.
The serpentine doe cursed loudly, wanting to scream but holding it in. Foolish stupidity! All of these emotions were supposed to have been cauterized a long time ago when she was a stupid child of this lifetime! Seething and frustrated, she bit down on her lower lip and forced down the feeling that continued to threaten to burst forth from her chest.
Stupid sentimental emotions, they made people vulnerable... they killed people.
They had killed Pravus, for he couldn't live without his Queen to hold onto, and it felt more and more like they were killing her. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her head and, try as she may, she couldn't ignore them. The emptiness in the pit of her chest just kept on aching, as relentless and unmerciful as she was. Somehow she had started to care and... somehow she had let herself believe that her presence might be enough to keep Pravus in the physical.
The disillusionment hurt.
In losing Pravus, it seemed she had lost what little connection she had to her more 'human' emotions. Or, perhaps, to the very last of what she had not been able to banish. The loss of them hurt in ways that she couldn't describe, in ways she'd never experienced before and in ways she never wished to deal with again.
Pravus was gone and he'd managed to take whatever bit of a heart she'd had with him.
Mephit didn't realize she had been breathing oddly until she racked in a horrendous and rattling breath, sucking air into deprived lungs. Even more unexpected was the sudden sting and flood of tears that suddenly assaulted her face, flooding down through dark fur. The doe jolted back as she untangled herself and began to furiously wipe at the tears that dared to pour without her consent. Never in all her memory of this life had she felt like this, had she ever cried and yet here she was now... Sobbing.
The frustration was too much. It welled up like a geyser, building pressure until Mephit was screaming.
No more!
No more of this sappy, disgusting, degrading emotion! She refused to subject herself to this wretched emptiness, that constricting loneliness! She didn't give a fuck if she was alone now, she had work to do and tests to run! If she really had to satisfy a need for socializing, there was Marie and... if she were truly bored, there was always another fluffy kitten to play with.
Characters: Mephit, references to Pravus, Xiven, Pale
Setting: Shortly after Pravus's death
Word Count: 820 (not including lyrics)
Lyrics: Parasite, Not Over by Deathboy
(Cauterized)
Passed out
while you drunk the last
of my humanity
Should have told you
there really isn't very much
of that
left
in
me
while you drunk the last
of my humanity
Should have told you
there really isn't very much
of that
left
in
me
The sight of Pravus, broken and gone, left Mephit with a strange feeling budding in her chest. Fino's death had been one thing, but she hadn't been very close to him. Pravus though... The sight of him made something snap deep in Mephit's chest and, in its stead, a slow and painful void had begun to spread. Immediately Mephit blocked it out, the feeling was something she knew but hadn't felt and it simply wasn't time to deal with it. The Court was breaking down again, she had other things that needed attending to. Besides... Everyone had seen it coming, hadn't they? She'd cared about Pravus -- fine, whatever, it was true -- but in the end he was dead and probably much happier with his Queen than without.
It had been a long time coming, after all.
So she ignored it, and focused fully on Xiven. ...Or, rather, she tried to until the Torquehelm stormed off; she wanted to brew in her own misery. Being left along with Pale didn't help ignoring whatever mysterious feeling was building within her. She didn't know how to deal with him, sending him back to Rhi would have made him whole but Mephit wasn't even entirely sure she cared then and there. She probably wasn't allowed to either, but just standing there wasn't helping anything. So she simply excused herself and left.
She wasn't even aware of where she was going until she arrived at the door to her own quarters. The weird ache, the compressing emptiness, hadn't stopped but had only grown with each passing moment and, for the first time since arriving at the Court, Mephit wanted nothing more than to be inside and to be behind the safety of locked doors that held in secrets. The moment the sound of the lock clicking echoed through the room, Mephit felt all the pain in her chest suddenly amplify into something that was unimaginable, something unbearable.
The doe gasped, shoving away from the door and storming toward the bed. Everything was spinning and all she could see was red. Everything was wrenching in all sorts of horrible and confusing ways and getting worse by the second. Horrible, empty, aching,.. She'd never felt anything like it before, and she'd never wanted to. Stupid, sentimental, aching, lonely... Selfish.
Love.
The serpentine doe cursed loudly, wanting to scream but holding it in. Foolish stupidity! All of these emotions were supposed to have been cauterized a long time ago when she was a stupid child of this lifetime! Seething and frustrated, she bit down on her lower lip and forced down the feeling that continued to threaten to burst forth from her chest.
Stupid sentimental emotions, they made people vulnerable... they killed people.
They had killed Pravus, for he couldn't live without his Queen to hold onto, and it felt more and more like they were killing her. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her head and, try as she may, she couldn't ignore them. The emptiness in the pit of her chest just kept on aching, as relentless and unmerciful as she was. Somehow she had started to care and... somehow she had let herself believe that her presence might be enough to keep Pravus in the physical.
The disillusionment hurt.
In losing Pravus, it seemed she had lost what little connection she had to her more 'human' emotions. Or, perhaps, to the very last of what she had not been able to banish. The loss of them hurt in ways that she couldn't describe, in ways she'd never experienced before and in ways she never wished to deal with again.
Pravus was gone and he'd managed to take whatever bit of a heart she'd had with him.
Mephit didn't realize she had been breathing oddly until she racked in a horrendous and rattling breath, sucking air into deprived lungs. Even more unexpected was the sudden sting and flood of tears that suddenly assaulted her face, flooding down through dark fur. The doe jolted back as she untangled herself and began to furiously wipe at the tears that dared to pour without her consent. Never in all her memory of this life had she felt like this, had she ever cried and yet here she was now... Sobbing.
The frustration was too much. It welled up like a geyser, building pressure until Mephit was screaming.
No more!
No more of this sappy, disgusting, degrading emotion! She refused to subject herself to this wretched emptiness, that constricting loneliness! She didn't give a fuck if she was alone now, she had work to do and tests to run! If she really had to satisfy a need for socializing, there was Marie and... if she were truly bored, there was always another fluffy kitten to play with.
