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Post by Greenie on Jul 24, 2009 0:49:34 GMT -5
"Good answer." The ferret replied with a toothy grin. Maybe she was being overly defensive, but these were her people and she didn't tolerate much interference with them. They technically worked for the Court, but everyone knew they really worked for Vessatha.
Vessie groaned at the image of herself as a fat-bottomed tree trunk. It was gloriously hideous. "It's sad that you're right. Irony would prevent any of it from hitting my chest. I'd be a tree with a really big trunk and spindly little arms... dear lord, I don't want to think about that." She retched a bit at the thought. No chocolate cookies for dessert.
"Pfft. They like their limbs where they are." She said simply, then made grabby hands as a tray wafted over their way. She stared for a moment, then grinned at the jar of salt sitting next to her unsalted fries. Perfect. "Well? Gardens?
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Post by The Jenn on Jul 24, 2009 0:55:47 GMT -5
"Your branches would be sadly lacking," Donnie agreed with a toothy grin as she accepted her tray from the mouse who had prepared the fries. They smelled fatty and delicious, even if they weren't. Fried foods were so horribly tempting sometimes. Sandwich, fries, cup of soup, glass of juice. Perfect.
"Garden," she agreed, waiting for the ferret to receive her foot before standing and balancing the stuff carefully. That red would stain the carpet terribly if she dropped it, or at the very least be an inconvenience. Knowing her, she'd get it all over her pale shirt instead. At least a quick transformation would fix that.
She led the way out of the kitchens and through a brief set of hallways before emerging into the early afternoon overcast. At least the breeze was mild so that her flimsy human skin didn't chill. She chose one of the garden seats that had been placed not too far from the exit and took a large, crunchy bite of the sandwich.
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Post by Greenie on Jul 24, 2009 16:51:42 GMT -5
"If I were a tree, at least I wouldn't be purple." She stated firmly, feeling that appropriately ended the conversation. A red tree, afterall, was at least plausible. She stood up smoothly and balanced her tray waitress-style before following the wolverine out, already dipping her fries in salt and munching on them.
The ferret chose not to sit on the bench but instead sat on the grass and set her tray on the chair. Nothing was blooming in the immediate area that was making her nose tingle, which was nice. She didn't really want to sneeze on her food.
"So," She started in between bites, "What are we discussing that you don't want chefs and dishwashers overhearing? Chaos? Murder? Mayhem? Sex scandal? I hope it's a sex scandal, those are so fun. We haven't had a good one in a while."
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Post by The Jenn on Jul 24, 2009 21:42:37 GMT -5
The sandwich was good, though it probably could have used a little more salty bacon to balance out the surfeit of lettuce. Or at least a little extra salt. Hmm. The mouse, no doubt. At least her fries were perfect. She smeared them in a dab of sauce and munched before replying, her cheeks going a touch pink under the yellow with a blush as she tried to hold in the snort until she'd swallowed.
"The sex scandal remains private, thank you very much," she replied with a good-natured smirk that was just a touch too embarrassed around the edges. Hooboy, Vessie wasn't going to let that one get away, now was she? "That hardly merits a scheduled appointment. Thank the Cliffs, I haven't heard about any important murders lately, but please feel free to share if I've missed something. I was actually wondering if you'd heard any juicy gossip through the grapevine that I may not have gotten yet, anything the servants can share more freely than the diplomats. Things are shaky with the Hearts and untested with the Diamonds. The Clubs remain stable, but I hear their King isn't faring too well. Whether that's rumor or fact, I don't know."
She paused and grinned before crunching another fry. "Also... it may amuse you to know that the Gardens are looking more favorably on this Court for trading now that the King of Spades is finally a woman to match the Queen. Apparently I have made a 'very wise and perhaps overdue decision', according to one representative. Go ahead. Laugh."
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Post by Greenie on Jul 24, 2009 21:51:43 GMT -5
Vessatha didn't catch the undertone immediately, but did a double take when she did catch it and gave the woman a very searching look. "The sex scandal, implying you had one? Something tells me we're not talking about that Solandrian chit you've been dottering with." Her eyes narrowed as she mentally searched through all the remotely attractive women that had come through the Court lately. No one of interest, she'd thought.. but perhaps she'd missed someone.
She shrugged noncommitally and took another bite of her sandwich. "I haven't heard anything particularly juicy in the Court circuit. Everything previously stated is true... though I'm not sure on the Clubs King either. Ask the obnoxious garden boy." The ferret said with a snort.
Vessatha just rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Glad to know I merit approval," She replied dryly. "Kinda makes me want to grow a penis and go sporting my manhood around just to see if it makes my ratings drop." She snorted, sticking her tongue out briefly in laughter. "They do realize I'm a Kahmden bitch, right? That practically makes me a man, since it takes balls to ditch that place."
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Post by The Jenn on Jul 24, 2009 22:13:51 GMT -5
"Just a joke," Donnie mumbled around a bite of sandwich. She couldn't have just let it go with pink cheeks, now could she? That would have been even more incriminating when and if the ferret had noticed. "The Solandrian chit is quite enough for me at the moment, thank you. I certainly don't need any juggling of affections. That shit gets old." Besides, she was having fun with a comfortable, casual fling. Less time and effort had to be put into maintaining it, which was ideal at this point in her career, and both of them were busy anyway.
The garden boy. That was certainly a different mental track. "Hmm. You know, a letter to him might not be amiss. Good for Courtly relations and all that crap, maintaining contacts with the nobility. He might let something slip. Definitely not the brightest bulb, that one. I wonder if we couldn't get his help in the gardens again for a week or two, though, if we were willing to trade some little goodwill service. It's been a few years and apparently he can 'talk to plants'. Did you know that one?"
She paused... and then laughed outright. "So long as you're practically a man and not actually a man, you're perfectly acceptable to the Yarrow Powers That Be. The vag is far more important to most of them is the mindset. Your son is a prime example of why that doesn't always work. He may as well be growing tits. Quite smart for his gender."
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Post by Greenie on Jul 24, 2009 22:22:52 GMT -5
Just a joke, hmm? Since when did Donnie blush over jokes? Nono, this topic was not dropping. "I'm not laughing. Just spit it out, you'll feel better and I won't have to worry that I need to send a spy crew to find out who fucked with your life." She paused. "Pun mildly intended." She sighed, and gave the wolverine a long look. "You know what I think about muffin girl, so I won't go there again, but. Well." The ferret paused, and took an overly large bite of her sandwich to stifle her unwanted words.
Vessie snickered over Hadrian's misfortune in working for them. "I think you're just judging his penis, my dear. Pretend he has boobs and the talking to plants thing won't sound so silly." She paused and wrinkled her nose. "Then again, maybe not.. But don't Clubs generally talk to weird things? Or was that just to each other? I can't keep track of their Suit abilities."
She rolled her eyes again for emphasis. The whole Yarrow thing made her want to gag, really, but since she had no intention of ever setting foot in the realm, she felt safe in merely mocking it. "Well then. I'll keep my secret penis locked away." She laughed, trying not to imagine herself as a male. Vessie liked her boobs where they were. "My son.. oi. Just watch, his balls may evaporate one of these days. We could switch genders and no one would notice."
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Post by The Jenn on Jul 24, 2009 23:38:15 GMT -5
Fucked with her life. Eheh. That was one way to put it. "Oh, just a fling in the Yarrow. You know how it is. Meet in a bar, bottle of wine, wake up with a shitty-ass hangover and an awkward goodbye. The sex was good, though." And she really wanted to leave it at that. The memory made her mind squirm uncomfortably with topics she didn't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. Especially not in the context of spies. Guh. No.
"Yes, enough about muffins. And penises, if you could." She snorted, fry halfway to her mouth before she considered the innuendo and rolled her eyes before biting the stupid thing. "Believe it or not, the plant bit is true. Just a little dumb. Either he can talk to them or he believes he can talk to them, so whatever floats his little hairy boat."
She loved this stupid banter. It was so satisfying to just chat, and to have everything thrown back at her. Except the scandal bit, but whatever. She could probably gloss over it somehow. "Considering he's even the one who bore your darling grandchild, I'm sure he could get away with it. I've actually been working on a favor to switch genders, at someone's behest. This Golfam lizard came up to me during session a few days ago and says he wants to be a woman, if you can picture that in your head. A Club, even. I guess he figured a part-Yarrow would be more receptive."
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Post by Greenie on Jul 24, 2009 23:49:32 GMT -5
Vessatha didn't believe it for a second, and toyed with how far she wanted to push it. "Not really. Never been to Yarrow, and bars aren't exactly my thing. I don't really have a thing, though. Quinn comes, I have sex, Quinn leaves, I don't have sex." She paused in her musings over Donnie to consider what her life could have been if she'd ever had these things called 'flings'. She'd have less children... possibly? It didn't differ much other than that. "Anyways, this isn't about me, this is about you being uncomfortable and trying to avoid telling me what happened. Do you really want me to snoop? Think about that before you answer." The ferret said with a pointed look. She'd damn well troop over to Yarrow if she had to, even if it meant being surrounded by those bizarre psycho control freak women.
"We should have gotten muffins. We could have pretended one was Raina and chopped off the top, since she has no boobs, and pretended another was you and have it squish the Raina one." Proud of her brief moment of immaturity, the ferret chuckled loudly and ended up stuffing her hand over her mouth to stifle it.
"Who knows. He was kinda cute, if you think of him in a fluff-ball neuter sort of sense. He should put on an apron and do domestic chores, it would be kind of adorable if he didn't open his mouth. If he was doing dishes, it wouldn't matter if he thought he could talk to plants." Vessatha stated, then pushed away her tray and laid on her back on the grass, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Darling? You aren't talking about Zether, are you?" She said with an eyebrow raised. "That's right, you haven't met the rest of them. I have hoards. Ungodly large amounts of piddling little obnoxious pitter-patterers. Thank the Suits they don't all live here or I would probably end up picking off the most annoying ones one by one." To prove her point, she picked a weed and began slowly and carefully pulling off leaves. "They tend to come up in shifts. I'll be sure to have them all invade your office at once."
She snickered at the thought of the Golfam. "I don't want to meet him.. her.. whatever, thanks. Just give me the Jack quests, you can have all the gender-favor fun you want."
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Post by The Jenn on Jul 25, 2009 23:12:36 GMT -5
"I really, really don't want you to snoop, actually," Donnie said with a touch of a frown. Having someone more seriously investigate things was the absolute last thing she wanted. Hopefully there wouldn't be rumors as it was beyond the fact that they had been in a relationship several years prior. "This one falls under the labels of 'private', 'stupid', and 'not happening again'. I'd rather leave it to bury itself in a nice, wine-soaked grave."
Her slightly sour expression gave way to an amused smirk and a snort at the muffin allusions. "Next time your insane mate comes around, I'm going to have to suggest she reenact your relationship with muffins. Then we'll see who gets squished." She didn't know much about the two of them, but from the general exuberance she'd noted on the part of the otter she figured there was probably something the comment could refer to.
The Hadrian comments earned another snort. "I don't think he'd make a very good domestic. I saw him trying to babysit once and it was awful. Speaking of brats, you'd better not. I can only imagine the energy levels of your grandspawn if there were a lot of them confined in an enclosed space. I don't have to meet them to be scared. The calm, gooey one is plenty. Children are such weirdly complicated things. Cute, though. I'm sure you have plenty of stories."
Remembering the strange, blunt Golfam and his request, the wolverine couldn't help but wonder when it had crawled out of the swamp and why. Still. "It's kind of a challenge. I figure if I can figure out how to make it then I can improve the world one sex-change at a time."
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