Post by Satra on Oct 5, 2009 0:30:39 GMT -5
Because we need MOAR WANGST.
Title: Silence ((#8 prompt)
Characters: Heilyn, Seth, Bernard
Werds: 1097ish
Forgot to mention: It's a reply to this I can't guarantee the writes even compares, but the muse demanded I write this. XD
She blinked in surprise when he told her. She’d wondered. She saw everything she’d gone through in him. She just didn’t think it was possible for them to have children anymore. While in a small way she regretted not getting a vasectomy herself, or get him to get his tubes tied, she couldn’t help but feel happy. More children! It was overwhelming, but as joyous as it could be. She kissed him almost relentlessly and promised him she’d help him stay sober throughout. The reminder of that didn’t quite go over so well, but her reiteration of the fact they were having more children brought him back. He knew it would make her happy. He was keeping them for her, after all.
Some time passed and some doubts began to emerge and settle. She knew there were complications involved in male pregnancy. She knew Seth was getting on in his years. He didn’t show it that much, the man was incredibly healthy, but she understood there were risks even through that. She wondered, turning the pros and cons over in her mind. The thought of him getting an abortion made her shake. There was life inside of him. It was her reflex to reject the idea of the abortion of perfectly healthy children. Posterity was the future of society. It was survival. It was a cultural belief that was far more ingrained than Heilyn realized.
It was... too early. Too early to think about this. Yeah, that’s right. Too early. They didn’t even know how many children there would be yet.
More time. Seth was beginning to show. Thoughts weighed heavy on her mind. She’d stopped herself several times over the past month from asking him if he’d considered not seeing the pregnancy to term. There was still time, and she still hadn’t come up with her answer yet.
She and Seth had already done their part in population (Seth especially). Five children was more than any Bog Dweller could have ever asked for, and that wasn’t even counting all of her step children. The world here Outside was easier to live in. The number of children here that saw their first birthday was far greater than that of Bog-born children. These children weren’t really necessary, logically speaking. If anything, considering the amount of children and pregnancies that were currently around in the Court, it would probably take some of the stress off of their home to not have them.
Still, whenever she thought of the result directly, she felt sick. They were their children. There was no way she could... she shuddered and withdrew from the thought. Unimaginable. Completely and utterly unimaginable. But what was to be done, then? Seth was in danger. She knew this. Did it really boil down to whose life mattered more? There were very few times the thought of death bothered her, but this made tears well up in her eyes. With her elbow propped on the table and her head in her hand, she cried, her sobs breaking the silence of the empty room.
“I see, so that’s what you two have been doing,” she said, a tone of remorse coming in near the end. Bernard looked up at her. There was a heavy silence between them. Seth had been thinking about the exact things she had. She couldn’t use his thoughtlessness as an excuse to save him.
He knew what he was up against, and he accepted it.
Her head buzzed, trying to figure out why. Why would he accept these terrible chances? The fact he’d discussed this with Bernard and was working to tie up as many loose ends as he could meant he at least accepted there was a chance he wouldn’t make it, right? She became lost in her thoughts again, Bernard’s loaded gaze forgotten until she brought herself back. Her eyes met his again. She couldn’t find any words to say. His entire expression said he was thinking the exact same thing as she was.
“Thank you,” she said quietly after a while, putting a hand on his knee. He returned a weak smile, pulling her into a hug.
She spoke with the doctor. She wasn’t quite listening as he explained to her that there may be a cure outside of the Bog for her heart disease.
“Your Majesty, this is important, please pay attention,” he said, gently. Despite his annoyance, he knew better than to get snippy with her of all people.
“How could Seth increase his chances of survival?” she asked, completely ignoring his last statement. He would have felt more annoyed, but he understood. Something like this was not easily cast out of the mind.
“Here, I can give you a list,” he told her in a gentle tone then went to find paper and a pen.
It was a rare thing for Heilyn to fall asleep alone, unless at her desk. Her paranoia usually prevented that from happening. Tonight, however, it was the thing that put her to sleep. She debated with herself again while lying in bed waiting for Seth to come back to her. The inner debate lead to crying and exhaustion. She was woken by what seemed like moments later by a body joining her on the bed. As soon as her fingers touched the fur she was so familiar with, her body seemed to move of its own accord to greet his. Her eyes slowly opened a crack as she realized she was awake. He seemed... off somehow.
“’mething wrong?” she asked in a tired voice. She half wished there was. That there was some complication with the children. Something. Anything. Anything that would make it possible to end the pregnancy and be able to keep Seth. To take this awful decision out of her hands.
No. All he wanted was her ring. She took it off, something she’d only done a handful of times since he gave it to her. She was curious, but didn’t ask. She figured he had a reason. She sighed, relaxing against him. They fit perfectly together, years of coexistence teaching them how they best fit tangled with each other. She drifted to sleep, unaware she’d been left to sleep alone again.
Title: Silence ((#8 prompt)
Characters: Heilyn, Seth, Bernard
Werds: 1097ish
Forgot to mention: It's a reply to this I can't guarantee the writes even compares, but the muse demanded I write this. XD
She blinked in surprise when he told her. She’d wondered. She saw everything she’d gone through in him. She just didn’t think it was possible for them to have children anymore. While in a small way she regretted not getting a vasectomy herself, or get him to get his tubes tied, she couldn’t help but feel happy. More children! It was overwhelming, but as joyous as it could be. She kissed him almost relentlessly and promised him she’d help him stay sober throughout. The reminder of that didn’t quite go over so well, but her reiteration of the fact they were having more children brought him back. He knew it would make her happy. He was keeping them for her, after all.
Some time passed and some doubts began to emerge and settle. She knew there were complications involved in male pregnancy. She knew Seth was getting on in his years. He didn’t show it that much, the man was incredibly healthy, but she understood there were risks even through that. She wondered, turning the pros and cons over in her mind. The thought of him getting an abortion made her shake. There was life inside of him. It was her reflex to reject the idea of the abortion of perfectly healthy children. Posterity was the future of society. It was survival. It was a cultural belief that was far more ingrained than Heilyn realized.
It was... too early. Too early to think about this. Yeah, that’s right. Too early. They didn’t even know how many children there would be yet.
More time. Seth was beginning to show. Thoughts weighed heavy on her mind. She’d stopped herself several times over the past month from asking him if he’d considered not seeing the pregnancy to term. There was still time, and she still hadn’t come up with her answer yet.
She and Seth had already done their part in population (Seth especially). Five children was more than any Bog Dweller could have ever asked for, and that wasn’t even counting all of her step children. The world here Outside was easier to live in. The number of children here that saw their first birthday was far greater than that of Bog-born children. These children weren’t really necessary, logically speaking. If anything, considering the amount of children and pregnancies that were currently around in the Court, it would probably take some of the stress off of their home to not have them.
Still, whenever she thought of the result directly, she felt sick. They were their children. There was no way she could... she shuddered and withdrew from the thought. Unimaginable. Completely and utterly unimaginable. But what was to be done, then? Seth was in danger. She knew this. Did it really boil down to whose life mattered more? There were very few times the thought of death bothered her, but this made tears well up in her eyes. With her elbow propped on the table and her head in her hand, she cried, her sobs breaking the silence of the empty room.
“I see, so that’s what you two have been doing,” she said, a tone of remorse coming in near the end. Bernard looked up at her. There was a heavy silence between them. Seth had been thinking about the exact things she had. She couldn’t use his thoughtlessness as an excuse to save him.
He knew what he was up against, and he accepted it.
Her head buzzed, trying to figure out why. Why would he accept these terrible chances? The fact he’d discussed this with Bernard and was working to tie up as many loose ends as he could meant he at least accepted there was a chance he wouldn’t make it, right? She became lost in her thoughts again, Bernard’s loaded gaze forgotten until she brought herself back. Her eyes met his again. She couldn’t find any words to say. His entire expression said he was thinking the exact same thing as she was.
“Thank you,” she said quietly after a while, putting a hand on his knee. He returned a weak smile, pulling her into a hug.
She spoke with the doctor. She wasn’t quite listening as he explained to her that there may be a cure outside of the Bog for her heart disease.
“Your Majesty, this is important, please pay attention,” he said, gently. Despite his annoyance, he knew better than to get snippy with her of all people.
“How could Seth increase his chances of survival?” she asked, completely ignoring his last statement. He would have felt more annoyed, but he understood. Something like this was not easily cast out of the mind.
“Here, I can give you a list,” he told her in a gentle tone then went to find paper and a pen.
It was a rare thing for Heilyn to fall asleep alone, unless at her desk. Her paranoia usually prevented that from happening. Tonight, however, it was the thing that put her to sleep. She debated with herself again while lying in bed waiting for Seth to come back to her. The inner debate lead to crying and exhaustion. She was woken by what seemed like moments later by a body joining her on the bed. As soon as her fingers touched the fur she was so familiar with, her body seemed to move of its own accord to greet his. Her eyes slowly opened a crack as she realized she was awake. He seemed... off somehow.
“’mething wrong?” she asked in a tired voice. She half wished there was. That there was some complication with the children. Something. Anything. Anything that would make it possible to end the pregnancy and be able to keep Seth. To take this awful decision out of her hands.
No. All he wanted was her ring. She took it off, something she’d only done a handful of times since he gave it to her. She was curious, but didn’t ask. She figured he had a reason. She sighed, relaxing against him. They fit perfectly together, years of coexistence teaching them how they best fit tangled with each other. She drifted to sleep, unaware she’d been left to sleep alone again.
