Unconditional Love [Dark][Finished]

[Bee]

Jin didn’t know why he had been putting off the discussion. Usually when Rin did something that bothered him, he was very quick to lay into him and set him straight, but this was something that had puzzled him. Something that merited observation, just to make sure what he was seeing was real, before he set out resolving the issue. He liked to consider himself sensitive and cautious where his children’s feelings were concerned.

So it was with great and tender care that he barricaded the spawn off in the room they would be least likely to hurt themselves in while he was gone and headed off to Rin’s, right down the hall. There was no denying something weird was going on with him and one of the kids, and they were going to Discuss it. Perhaps vehemently, if need be. Rin would not be allowed to stunt Milena’s emotional development. That girl was wrong enough in the head as it was.

He let himself into Rin’s apartment, made a beeline for his study, and parked it in one of the chairs.

“We have matters to discuss,” he said, seriously.

[Dark]

Rin glanced up from the crossword he had been perusing with trepidation and the slightest bit of irritation. At this point in his life, he knew he should be used to interruption, but his patience wasn’t what it used to be it seemed. He must use it all up at the diner, he mused; that was the only explanation why he hadn’t murdered anyone yet. It did not, however, bode well for his family.

“Do we?” he muttered, wondering with a tired sort of bitterness what is was this time. He sighed--he didn’t want to start a fight--and tried again in more docile tones: “What about?”

He had been rather irritable lately, he knew: lack of sleep could do that to a guy. And, really, working side-jobs between shifts at the diner wasn’t the wisest decision, but he had needed to do something that didn’t drive him complete insane. If he could get away with it, he’d go back to detective work full-time, but he knew he couldn’t.

[Bee]

Rin did not appear to be in the mood for this discussion, but tough shit. But he decided to go straight to the heart of the matter. Keeping the talk quick and dirty was probably the best way to keep it from becoming an argument. Not that Jin was particularly good at phrasing things delicately.

“Oh, nothing important. Just the fact that you’re ignoring your daughter.” Not Coralie, of course. She was a sweetheart and they both doted on her, though she seemed to be more of a daddy’s girl. Other Daddy’s girl, he corrected himself. He had not yet given up on that battle.

But it was Milena he shied away from, for some reason. He never looked comfortable around her. And it made him angry that one was his children might not be getting the love she deserved, no matter how strange she was.

With any luck they could figure out what Rin’s damage was and correct it.

[Dark]

Rin winced. He had been expecting they would be having this discussion eventually, and was actually surprised it had taken Jin so long to address the matter, but being confronted by it was entirely worse than the anticipation had been. And having known didn’t make it any easier to talk about now that it was required of him.

“Would you like to be more specific?” he asked, in attempt to buy time.

How did he explain that creeping, itching sensation every time he caught Milena staring at him? because that was all she ever did. Or how her perfectly white coat caused such a deep unease in him? like a ghost, watching with big, blue, calculating eyes from the corner of his eye, under the bed, behind the shower curtain.

He knew his behavior towards their quieter daughter was unacceptable, but it wasn’t as it he actively avoided her. He just--never spent any longer with her than absolutely necessary; and gods, it made him sound like an ass, but there was something--off--about that girl.

[Bee]

“You act like she has a contagious disease,” Jin said, pointedly. It made him uncomfortable to watch it. He had been part of a very large brood, and his mother had cared for all of them and tried to spend time with them, no matter how fuckwitted Jin thought some (Abner) of them (Abner) were (Abner). Jin had even gotten especial attention on account of being less abundantly furred and muscled than his siblings, to toughen him up. His mother had tried to help all of them overcome their deficiencies. (Well, Jin’s had mostly been solved with a bad attitude and a thick coat, but who had helped him cultivate that attitude?)

“Maybe if you didn’t act like spending too much time with her would give you typhoid, she’d be better-adjusted. What the fuck do you have against her, anyway? She doesn’t have typhoid, you know. Kaz and Zhenya and Coralie would get it before you did.”

[Dark]

Typhoid. That would be--tragic--but, overall, easier to deal with. Rin squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, and resisted the urge to voice the thought aloud.

In the beginning, though her unmarked fur had been a source of unease--a silly superstition, really, and one he did his best to ignore--he had tried his very best to treat all his children equally. Even as a baby, Milena had been--different; quiet--but it wasn’t until she was older that it really started to get under his skin. At what point had that vacant, wondering gaze taken on such a calculating stillness?

And it wasn’t just the way she crept after him. Listening to her interact with her siblings made him uneasy, even more so since Coralie was so easily manipulated. Milena’s imagination was very--active.

“Does she follow you?” he asked, wondering if he really was just an asshole, or Jin sensed it on some level too.

[Bee]

“Of course she does,” Jin said, giving Rin the incredulous are you retarded? stare he had honed to perfection in the last few years. “She’s a little fucking kid, they follow their parents around.”

It was standard childhood behavior. The children just wanted to be near their parents and mimic them. Sure, Milena was…slightly more predatory about it than most kids were, but Jin just put that down to Glacier influence. She may not have gotten any of the coat, but she could have gotten some of the psychological tendencies. Maybe that was the disconnect here. Lakelanders were supposed to be laid back, right? Except for their superstitious nonsense. And Jin knew that he was a shining example of benevolent sunshine or whatever, but his home region could produce a lot of aberrant and abhorrent behavior. Kaz seemed to have picked some of it up, albeit in a much different vein than Milena.

[Dark]

He supposed he should have phrased that differently, considering, yes, little children were in the habit of following their parents around. However, the way Coralie followed him around was of an entirely different nature than the sort done by Milena. Coralie just wanted to spend time with him; Milena, he…wasn’t so sure about.

Jin, obviously, did not feel the same reservations about their daughter. It was, in a way, probably better that way; though Milena wasn’t the type to enjoy coddling, at least she had one parent she could talk to without having them backing towards the nearest exit.

“How do you suggest I deal with her?” he asked, because Jin was always full of wisdom concerning how Rin could stop being a waste of air and become a better doormat. He had made the decision to live in the same apartment building so he could be close to the kids, but there were times he wondered at the wisdom of that action; it might be healthier for all concerned if there was a little bit of space between Jin and he.

[Bee]

Some part of Jin felt that trying to work out solutions without fully addressing whatever was going on Rin’s head would lead to disaster, but, well—if they could reach a solution without having to delve into Rin’s emotional issues, that was probably for the best. The result would be the same either way. And if he failed to make progress, there was always time for another vehement discussion until Rin got it right.

“Your best bet,” Jin said, “is to go deep inside whatever part of your brain thinks Milena is some kind of plague rat and fuck its shit up until it behaves itself. But until you’re ready to take that personal journey of discovery, you could probably stand to look a little less like she’s going to make an afternoon snack of your soul when she comes near you. Give her hugs or something. I don’t know. Just try to be…more like you are with Coralie.”

[Dark]

Sweet, innocent, loving Coralie. It was easy to love her, hug her, amusing to listen to her little anecdotes, even if over half of them were concerning her dolls. He had--a hard time, trying to transfer those same feelings onto Milena. Creepy, stalking, staring Milena.

He gave himself a mental shake; he really needed to start looking at the situation from a different angle. Perhaps if he found some sort of--constructive--outlet for her innate desire to watch people; she had already expressed a desire to “find” people, though he thought that might not be the best direction to send her in. But--it might be the only way he could connect with her on any sort of level.

He sighed, knowing it was hopeless. The best he could do was work on suppressing the intense desire to flee from her presence, and providing a more constructive role in her life.

No, definitely not the same as Coralie.

“I’ll try,” was all he said.