First time for everything... [End]

[Tigeress]

[To help advance Astyana slowly into a more 'teen' stage before she grows up <3]

It was late, the stars were bright, and it was everything a developing young woman could want for a first kiss. No wonder she found as she strolled around that several couples were taking stolls, giggling, and talking quietly, rapidly with gasping inbetween. Astyana wasn't interested though, this was no 'pleasure stroll' so to speak. She had far too much class for that. Besides, she found that most of the people she'd met so far had been... a little weird.

This was her chance for her, to find what she liked, to explore life as she was being thrown into it head first. Not the tiny doe she had once been, she had less to fear and more to know and understand. It had taken hours of pleading, but she'd finally convinced Syraelia to let her do this on her own. Just a short walk, just to see and explore in the quiet wake of the city's night life... which was practically nonexistant tonight. The only reason her request had been granted.

Fear was far from her mind, her personal safety and well being was often left behind in her travels and tonight was no different. There was so much to see and do, no one to judge or hinder her experience... and yet, she couldn't help but feel bored and a little alone. She'd never really had anyone to talk to about... everything. All that she could remember. The memories that held her back, and the knowledge that made her self conscious. She had been rejected, cast aside, unwanted.

Somehow, she resented the pain her thoughts caused her, and couldn't imagine how talking to anyone had ever made these strange feelings better. There was so much she didn't understand about herself and where she belonged, she couldn't move past it to see what the world had to offer her. She didn't yet understand what she could offer to herself. Her confidence was there, yes, but it was uncertain, fickle in a way. Sitting down on the edge of a fountain, she sighed, allowing one hand to dangle into the cool, obsidian depths.

It was peaceful here, maybe she would just meditate on better thoughts for a little while. Syraelia would just have to understand that she wanted to take her time on her first real night out.

[FlyingPanther]

By now, Igal was also a growing teen, not far from reaching adulthood himself. Despite the fact that he was close to adulthood however, he was still to be found in his animal form. If he was going to gain a bi-pedal form, it wasn't going to show until he came into adulthood. So he continued to pad along on all fours. His body was beginning to look alot more rattie, the only things vaguely reminicent of his canine lineage would be his ears, paws, and slight subtlties in his face. He might not grow to be the most handsome male ever, but that was still yet to be known. Often teenagers go through an awkward stage, where they can look a little gangly, or worse, then grow to be very good looking individuals. Only time would tell.

Igal wasn't paying much attention to the lovers that walked along this late at night, giggling and looking at eachother with such intencity. He tossed around the idea of a girlfriend...or possibly boyfriend?...in his mind, only to realize he really didn't see either in the near future. He couldn't really imagine ever being with someone really, it just didn't seem like a plausible thing to happen to him. He was not good looking enough...and it was just not in his blood to love someone like that. Or at least he really didn't think he was able to love someone like that.

Silvanus had let him walk out alone several times before. The buck knew that Igal could take care of himself just fine now, though he did have a curfew, which is why Igal was slowly making his way back home. The last time he had met someone on his way back home...well...it had been someone he was hoping never to see again. In the distance he could see another recognizible face, and it certainly wasn't as unwelcome. She seemed to be sad about something, which didn't seem like her. Astyana had been very much like her adoptive mother in his eyes, seeing every cloud with a silver lining. It seemed that philosophy had managed to waver tonight.

Igal padded over towards her, an eyebrow raised as he spoke, "Brooding does not become you, Astyana." his familiar voice and tone ringing out through the silence.

[Tigeress]

She had been so absorbed in her own thoughts that she had allowed Igal to practically sneak up right next to her. So shocked was she that someone had somehow appeared near her without her noticing, that she cried out in shock and fell over a little, doe legs scrambling on the stone of the fountain to regain her balance. It was unladylike and rather... undignified, and she looked sufficiently embrassed afterwards, coughing away her discomfort as she settled the last few pieced of upset hair in her short and plush coat.

It was easy to say she wasn't the least surprised to see Igal out at this hour, he had always seemed to have a bit more freedom than she, but perhaps it was the advantage of being a male with a male father figure. Mothers seemed to be generally more... paranoid. After this night she would be allowed out on her own with a rather nice curfew, she had to admit it was quite a stretch from what she was allowed up until now. The condition was, of course, that she would have Sevatt with her at all times. She didn't mind that at all, she loved having the little Slithey Tove with her. Just not tonight, tonight was supposed to be all her.

"Really? I could have said the same for you." Her smile was sly and faint, somehow seeing a familiar face never stopped cheering her up. A childhood friend was even more appreciated, someone who knew her, yes, isn't that what she'd wanted? But, she didn't really know much about Igal come to think of it. It had been so long... was he the talking type? Or were deep conversations really too boring for him to endure? He could be a completely different person than she remembered... or he could be just the same.

"What brings you out so late tonight?" She didn't bother to ask if he was allowed, she felt they were a little beyond that. One could only assume that things were as they had been- he was one step closer to freedom, even though it seemed she'd craved it more. Now, it didn't seem to matter as much, because she had no idea what she would do with that freedom. She would never be truly welcome in her own realm, she was not like them. Here, it seemed she was tolerated, fairly accepted by the general population, but she had nothing to go to, nobody who waited to visit her or talk to her. Igal was really the only friend she had, how strange was that?

[FlyingPanther]

It might have been the first emotion he ever had shown. His usual dispassionate self kept him from showing most emotion in his voice and facial expressions, but he couldn't help but give a very small smile at the female suprise. How completely strange both of them were acting! 'It must be the hormones', he said to himself, and the smile was lost. "Sorry to sneak up on you.", he said as a weak appology. No harm had come to her out of being suprised, so it was more a niceity then anything. He could thank Silvanus for his manners.

The corner of his mouth twitched a bit, when she said that about himself brooding. "You are one who sees everything through a rose colored glass, or so it was when last we met. You seemed determinded. You had goals. Tell me that wasn't just your childhood? I was never like that, and continue not to be. Brooding suits me better then most..." he flicked an ear, but that was the most physical movement he made. To him at the very least, this was true, though he wasn't completely a Brooder...he didnt think of Morose things all the time, but his demenor seemed to carry the idea of it. One couldn't really blame him.

"I like to take walks at night. The cool air is refreshing." he said honestly to her. The truth was that he really didn't have any reason for being out. He didn't really have friends, those near his house had more been childhood playmates then actual founded friendships, and he wasn't going to visit Ophelia, who he did go to visit from time to time. He had really just been out on a bit of a stroll.

[Tigeress]

The smile was even more shocking than him sneaking up on her, and in a strange blunt fashion not common to the female, she squinted her eyes, insprecting the male before mimicking his smile with a similar, somewhat confused one of her own. "You smiled. I think that's the first time I've ever seen that." She didn't mean to come off as rude, it was just... alarming in a way. She'd gotten so used to him being one way, and now everything was changing... everything. He'd said it aloud just to remind her...

"Yes, you're right... I don't really know what's happened but I... see more. I think it has made me feel... lost. Old rules no longer apply, and new ones are not suiting to whatever goals I might have had. I don't think I belong where I would have wanted to be." She was staring intently at the water, her expression one of evident confusion and slight pain. Growing up had made her begin to face all the demons Syraelia had told her to ignore. Her past wasn't going to just dissapear, and it would affect her life forever. This was really only the beginning.

"I don't think brooding suits anyone, especially not one so kind. At least, you have shown me kindness in the way of companionship, I don't think I ever thanked you for that." The smile was back now, a polite tilt of the head following suit. Really, she was grateful to be able to confide in anyone, but their past made it especially worth being thankful for. Though they really hadn't been near each other in a year or so, certain memories never fade.

However, she still couldn't bring herself to burden him with all her petty problems, she would overcome them with time, surely. "I agree, I much prefer this to day, I think. You're bigger than I remember you." This brought out a full-fledged grin, she hadn't realized how much she missed just talking and hearing her own voice. Syraelia was too busy lately to sit around and do idle chatter, and when she tried, Astyana found herself bored and wishing for different company. Perhaps this was simply a daughter thing?

[FlyingPanther]

Igal said nothing about his smile, or the comment about his smile, prefering to pretend it never even happened. Smiling and showing such emotions was a rare thing for him, and one he thought very out of character...or just plain confusing. He didn't choose to be the way he was, it was just the way he always had been, and would continue to be. Igal was rather predicible in that way, and he didn't really mind it. There were ways in which he was unpredicible to, he knew, though the occation hardly ever called for anything out of the ordinary. His life was rather droll...day in and day out. Nothing really fluctuated or changed. He assumed once he was part of the royal courts, if he was to become a part of it at all, that would swiftly change, and maybe prompt more change in himself as well. But for now...it was as she said...He hadn't changed much, except maybe his hight and looks.

Igal felt a great amount of pity for Astyana, although he didn't express it in any facial features or even in his words. She was coming into the knowledge of the world around her, something that Igal had faced almost immidiately in childhood, and it had changed him from what could have been a childhood similar to his friends. Full of hopes and dreams. He knew though that the world was to cruel to foster those things realistically. It was a blessing simply to be born into the status he was, probably the only thing he could ever possibly thank his parents for. He snorted, remembering his father with contempt in his heart. But the thoughts quickly faded. Unlike Astyana, he had learned to just accept the facts for what they were and just...let them be. Of course they still bothered him, but he was able not to brood on them nearly as much as Astyana thought.

Well, he couldn't really say that about his friend. He didn't really know how she dealt with her problems. She could be just as skilled as he in 'forgetting', probably better...because at least she had good memories to block the bad ones with. All his memories that he would consider good...were rather mediocre. But he supposed they were better then nothing. Finally he spoke to Astyana. "There is no need to thank someone for being your friend. To need that would probably mean that they are not your friend in the first place." he said rather sagely.

At the comment about how he had grown he looked at himself. He had grown quite a bit, but not really in any way that he would have hoped. He was envious of Silvanus for his good looks, something that at the moment he didn't think would be bestowed on him. However, he was a teenager...an awkward looking one. He could very well still have a chance of looking slightly better. He looked at Astyana and couldn't help but let his mind wander a little. He was a boy afterall, and one pumped full of raging hormones not unakin to Astyana's. "You have grown in rather nicely yourself. I have no doubts that in adulthood you shall be the belle of the ball." he ment it sincerly, though with his monotone voice, it might be hard to tell what the intention of the compliment was. Astyana was a looker, but she would never be interested in him, and honestly Igal wasn't sure that despite his hormones, he really liked her enough to pursue her for anything more then friendship.

[Tigeress]

His pity was well placed, though Astyana might have lashed out at him for it a little if she had known. The experience he'd gone through early on was coming now at a more difficult time for her. Teenage years were confusing enough without worrying about the state of the world and one's place within it. However, she could say that she did have kinder memories she could meditate on, not ones involving her parents however, as they had not wanted to keep her. They were placed on her experiences with Syraelia, and Igal, and the few others she'd met in her life briefly, but long enough to be remembered.

The fact that she had something to look back on a smile for was a blessing, especially when she was as confused as she was now. However, having a better past than Igal also meant that the emotional turmoil now stung a little more. She wanted to go back in a sense, to relive her dreams and childhood philosophies that had seemed to be so perfect at the time. But she was smart enough beyond her years to know she had to face this head on, and eventually come to a neutral acceptance of things she didn't like, but could never change.

For all the bad she'd seen and heard, there just had to be equal good. Syraelia had told her so, and she wanted badly to believe it. Yet watching Igal made her wonder just how much good there really was, and why some people had to suffer so much more than the others. She knew little about his past, practically nothing, so she couldn't tell if he'd truly just lived a life of dissapointment, or if he was of the kind to be overdramatic about the dissapointments he had actually faced. So many mysteries.

"You're right. I suppose I was more thanking you for being you, and approaching me when you did so that I might actually have someone to turn to in difficult times. I hope I can assume that our bond is strong enough that you will continue to be there for me, despite the fact that we haven't seen each other in a fair while?" She wanted reassurance at this point more than anything, to know that if something went terribly wrong in her venture out into the world on her own, she could come back and have someone who at the very least listen and give honest advice.

He seemed the kind to not sugar-coat things, and she knew she was ready to see the dark side of everything which had seemed to be full of light. Astyana hadn't really 'rated' Igal in her mind, seeing as right now she was much more focussed on just having something simple and honest, a good friendship, it would be too much to complicate that and risk loosing it altogether. Then she'd be alone... and if one thing hadn't changed, it was her fear of being alone. There was a story to that, one she didn't feel like sharing. She missed his roving eyes, though had she noticed it would be hard to guess her reaction. She had a pride about her looks, but not so much as to enjoy being a piece of meat in the eyes of others. The compliment was well-received however, and brought another instand grin to her face.

"Thank you so much Igal, that really is very sweet." Her eyes fluttered unintentially, the youthful charm that teenage girls absent-mindedly flung around seemed to be very present in her. It made her even more beautiful than she was, really, (though she was already considerably attractive especially considering how much growing she still had to do) the fact that she was undeniably quite innocent yet the growing woman inside her had bestowed upon her a bit of charm that came out whenever it pleased. She had the potential to be quite the heartbreaker, though if she knew her effects over Igal (or any future companions who fell victim to her unintentional flirting) she would have been... considerably embarassed to say the least.

[FlyingPanther]

It wasn't until he was asked by Astyana to be there for her that it ever really dawned on him what being a friend really was. This might be sad to hear for anyone else, but it was not something sad for Igal, nor was it really something that made him happy. He had always assumed a friend was someone that you recognized, and would talk to on occation, maybe sare some sort of event with them. But a friend was much more then that. A friendship was a responcibility. You really truely had to be there for that person whenever they needed you, regardless of what was happening in your own life. Indeed, he wasn't happy or sad at the realization of responcibility, merely suprised by it because he had never needed to have responcibility for someone else.

"I am what I am, and I can be no more or no less then that. There is no reason to thank me, though...I suppose the gesture is appreciated. I will be there for you when you need me, if you so choose to seek me out." he seemed to say with an adult certainty. He liked Astyana, while their pasts might not be completely the same, they came from the same place, and had very similar experiences. They may not see eachother very often, but he had considered her a friend, and it only seemed right to continue with that. What kind of person whould he be if he said no? Certainly not her friend as he had thought, and certainly not the person he wanted to grow up to be.

Her flirtatious behavior made him feel awkward, and unsure. The batting of her eyes seemed like some sort of invitation, but...she just wanted to be friends? He sat for a while, rather confused, though his face didn't betray his thoughts. It was his normal stoic look as he thought of what to say in responce to her. Was she trying to play with him? Igal like most men, didn't understand that sometimes being flirtatious was just in one's nature, and that they didn't really intend sometimes to even be flirtatious. He only saw that her eyes had invited him to persue her, and her words had been silky and equally as inviting. Still confused, he remarked rather bluntly to her statement about him being sweet., "I suppose."

[Tigeress]

It seemed he liked to think over both his responses and hers before contributing to the conversation at all, a trait that she found curiosly intriguing. While she tended to just speak her mind, it also had landed her in quite a bit of trouble in the past, mostly just being disliked by her parents for her outspoken-ness, despite her apathy. It was a strange combination, a youthful determination to be unique, smoldered by the general lack of anything which surrounded her. People just drifting through life, because it was easier to accept than to ask questions.

"Alright, I won't say thank you, but merely... I appreciate it. I am glad I have someone I can trust and turn to. It makes my drab mood much less drab." A weak smile was given, evidence that there was still much on her mind. She had moved on from her past for a while to wonder about the future again. This turning point in her life was both exciting and terrifying, she couldn't wait to be on her own, and yet... what if she really was unsuccessful in all her endeavours? What if the slight unique personality she had picked up from living with Syraelia rubbed too many people the wrong way, as it had to the only other people who had mattered before?

Was there any point in trying to predict the outcome? Would she find some way to avoid these obstacles? Was not the point of life to overcome anything that came into one's way, no matter how difficult? So then perhaps this was all just a stage that she would overcome as well. She worried because she was young and unsure of herself, so she just needed to get out more, do more, continue to grow instead of trying to stop herself and make sure she was ready. It was foolish the more she thought about it.

Taking a big breath in and out, she managed to catch the discomfort that Igal practically radiated, and stopped a moment to consider her actions. Had she done something offensive? Only one way to find out. "Have I said something to upset you? You seem... perplexed." It was an honest concern, from friend to friend, she didn't want her current state to make her babble out something rude or over share anything.

[FlyingPanther]

"I suppose we all need someone who we can trust, I'm intreged as to why though, out of all the people in the world, why you trust me? I thought Syraelia and you had a rather trusting relationship?" he asked. It seemed that Igal hadn't really learned the idea that a person needed to have more then one person they trusted in their lives in order to live a happy life. But then again, he never really had anyone he knew he could depend on other then Silvanus, but that was more just a given now. He couldn't quite understand why her foster mother's love and trust wasn't enough for her.

He had no way of knowing what Astyana's internal struggle was. While she asked for his friendship to soften the blow of things that were happening, she wasn't much into talking about them. It suited Igal fine, whatever came out of the friendship did, and he wasn't about to expect more or less.

When she asked him about his confusion, he shook his head, trying to figure out what he should say without alerting her that she had been slightly flirtatious. Both he and she would be embarrassed if he tried to explain, so it was best left unsaid...but what to say in it's place? "Oh no, you have not offended me. I'm sorry...I got distracted by something behind you.". Unfortunately what lay behind Astyana if she looked was a snogging couple, much to the embarrasment of Igal. He most certainly hadn't even noticed the couple until he had said his lie. What would Astyana think?