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Post by The Jenn on Feb 27, 2008 22:22:16 GMT -5
Femi held his head against her furry, tufted chest and stroked his hair with one hand, the other wrapped firmly around him and holding him tight. He was crying and she really wasn't sure why, only that it had something to do with remembering Mili and his sister and being a doll. She supposed that was quite enough to make anyone cry.
She never really knew what to say in situations like this except what she always said, what she always meant. "Kazifel, dearest, I love you. Please... it's okay... I'm here for you. And I love you." Her nose buried itself near the top of his hair and her petting never stopped. She was so very glad that the children were asleep so that she could focus all of her attention on her husband. "So much has happened around you. It's amazing you can get by at all, much less be such a wonderful King and husband and father. I'm here, Kazifel, always. Always for you."
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Post by Kari Muffin on Feb 27, 2008 22:30:07 GMT -5
"I know..." he said through the tears. "I love you too... I just... I just don't want to lose everything again." His words were choked with sobs as he tried to calm himself down. The petting helped. It couldn't fix everything though.
He choked back a half sob and a whimper. He was overreacting. That's all it was. He would always be with Femi, and she would always be with him. They would always be in love, and nothing could change that. Nothing was going to come back from the grave to haunt him. His father, his mother, and his sisters were dead. Mili might as well be, since he would never see her again. Everything was going to be all right. He had a family now. He had to keep together for all of this.
But.... it still hurt so much. He gave a small whimper as the tears died down. He was miserable.
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Post by The Jenn on Feb 28, 2008 0:59:31 GMT -5
That whimper was just heartbreaking and Femi felt sympathetic tears pricking in her eyes, which she quickly blinked away. No, now wasn't the time for that. He didn't need to see her crying too, and for no good reason compared to what was upsetting him. She swallowed and kissed his head, pet his back, made soothing gestures as best she could.
"You have too much now to lose everything," she whispered, nuzzling at his hair. Holding him was made so much easier when she was a biped and he was a human. Plus he had the soft, warm fur to cling to and cry into. "You have the house we're building, the home we're making together. You have our beautiful little babies, all set to grow up into beautiful people. For all that you don't want her, you do have your Aunt. And you have me. And I'm never, ever, ever going anywhere without you by my side."
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Post by Kari Muffin on Feb 28, 2008 1:16:40 GMT -5
He heard her words loud and clear. He still sobbed a bit as he tried to focus. Everything was going to be fine in the future. He wouldn't have to worry about all the ghosts of his past. He didn't have to be reminded of his father when he looked at a mage, he didn't have to think about Cassiel when someone mentioned that he was a doll, he didn't have to worry about losing his family.
Most importantly he had Femi. She was always going to be there. The children, he knew, would probably want to leave the Wood. That's just how things went. But... Femi would always be there. He wouldn't have to worry. He would be okay.
"Thank you," he muttered as carefully sat up to kiss Femi on the cheek. "Thank you so much for making me whole." It was all he could think to say.
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Post by The Jenn on Feb 28, 2008 16:19:51 GMT -5
Femi moved so that her soft squirrel's nose was pressed against his cheek and kissed him in return. "When you're with me, love, you make me whole. I don't know what I was before I found you, but it wasn't someone I want to be anymore. Having you changes everything and I'll never let things go back to the way they were for either of us."
He was hers, her precious Kazifel. She was his Queen, and he treated her like a princess when he pampered her and allowed for her silliness, but at the same time, he was her doll and sometimes she needed to cuddle him close and kiss him and make everything better again. She liked it that way.
She heard one of the children moving around in their cot and then a thin, questioning whimper could be heard. Her arms wrapped tighter around Kazifel, not wanting to let him go to tend to the children.
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Post by Kari Muffin on Feb 28, 2008 20:10:27 GMT -5
Kazifel shifted out of Femi's grasp. Responsibility overshadowed his own grief. Everything was going to be okay anyway. Plus, if one of the children made a ruckus, the other ones might be close to follow suit. Five screaming children was something he absolutely didn't want to deal with.
He shifted back to his biped form and went over to the whining child. It was Sage, apparently she had gotten tangled in her blankets. Children were pretty special that way. He gave a small smile as he picked her up and and righted her blankets. "Of course you'd be the one to complain," he muttered as he cradled her in his arms. She was probably going to be the one who got to play dress up with Mommy the most. What would the other children think of that?
He looked to Femi curiously. Usually she liked to take a hold of the children if they were being fussy.
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Post by The Jenn on Feb 29, 2008 10:18:51 GMT -5
Femi sighed a little, shook her head, and smiled at him. Seeing her husband holding one of their children so carefully just gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. She had such a beautiful family.
Standing, she held out her arm for the baby and held her close, stroking her mane and making soft noises that hummed through her chest and seemed to help calm the children whenever they needed it. Having plush for for them to snuggle against really did help. To that end, she climbed into the bed and laid down, pulling the child closer so that she might think about taking a longer nap.
Actually, that wasn't such a bad idea. She pet the soft white fur, fingers tracing along the little biped's black wings before going up to comb through her mane again. So very, very pretty... her daddy often told her about how pretty her grandmother's mane used to be, but the old squirrel had died before she'd been born and she only had her father's pictures to go by. Maybe Sage got it from her? Or maybe it was yet another effect of the potion cocktail she'd accidentally downed.
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Post by Kari Muffin on Feb 29, 2008 21:47:50 GMT -5
Kazifel sighed happily for a moment. He closed his eyes. Briefly before coming up next to Femi and wrapping his arm around her. They had children to take care of, he had a reason to live, and he just had to get over all of it for their sakes.
He could cry later, he could worry some other time. He would have to deal with all of the pain later. He kissed Femi on the cheek lightly. Sage was content trying to fall back asleep completely oblivious of what her Mommy and Daddy were doing.
"I hope... we can do this right," Kazifel whispered in Femi's ear. He had so much to worry about, being a good parent was something to add to the list. He just hoped that the list would grow shorter sometime soon. Everything was just eating him alive. He kept his arm around Femi as he looked her in the eyes. "Sorry, I'm just being silly again."
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Post by The Jenn on Mar 1, 2008 2:50:08 GMT -5
Femi swallowed hard once when she felt a warm arm wrap around her and leaned into his one-armed hug, tilting her head at the feather-light kiss on her cheek and sighing very quietly. When he looked at her, his eyes were so beautiful a gold but filled to the brim with worry and other emotions she wasn't sure how to place.
"We'll do it right," she whispered back, blinking back a small prickle in her eye and smiling up at him. "I'm silly so often that I don't know why you put up with me sometimes, except that I love you. I think you're entitled to be silly sometimes too. It just never feels silly when you actually feel it, does it?"
She absently stroked her baby's hair and continued to sooth the girl to sleep. It was so nice to feel awake and refreshed for once, but the emotional drain of it all was starting to hit her, just like it was Kazifel. Raising them was such a joy, watching them grow and develop, start moving around and making more intelligible, or at least understandable, noises... but it also left her feeling like all of her emotions were being poured out and into them. She absolutely refused to be so wrapped up in her own tired that she couldn't give her love the attention he needed and deserved, though. The children were sleeping. They could wait. "Talk to me a little bit about what's so silly?"
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Post by Kari Muffin on Mar 1, 2008 3:07:01 GMT -5
"Everything," he muttered. "Fear of the past. My father was a mage, that's why they terrify me so much. I can't get over that small little part of my past. It just replays over and over again. Won't go away. Even after what I did to him, it won't go away." He whimpered slightly as he pulled away from Femi.
He was shaking slightly. He didn't want to wake Sage now that she had fallen asleep like the others. He didn't want to screw up so early in the game. The wolf shook his head before sitting on the bed. Why was he having so much trouble right now? Why couldn't he hide it like he did before? Why did it feel like he was going to burst into tears once again?
Unanswered questions he would never say out loud. He loved Femi with all his heart, but he knew she could answer those questions.
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