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Post by Satra on Jul 30, 2009 22:28:22 GMT -5
Hadrian was very surprised at the sudden growling and teeth baring. Then again, he'd never seen her really in pain. If she hurt enough to ask someone else to get a doctor for her... that was serious. He just stared at her for a moment, then backed away. He'd spent enough time with her and made her angry at him plenty of times. Added to the fact that she was a Canine as well, he picked up on the nuances of her growling and body language. There was "you fucked up and I expect you to fix it"-angry and there was "you need to get away from me know"-angry. This was definitely the latter.
He'd learned over the years that trying to remedy what ever got her to that state usually only got him into worse trouble. It was best to leave her alone until she calmed down.
"C'mon, kiddo," he muttered, a little miffed she was mad at him for something he clearly didn't do. He walked over to the boy and picked him up by the scruff of his neck and carried him into the bedroom and placed him on the floor. He gave Anoushka one last look. Her reaction would tell him whether to leave the kid out of the living room or leave the living room as well.
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Post by The Jenn on Aug 28, 2009 10:36:43 GMT -5
Oh, oh fuck. Oh fuck that hurt. Anoushka felt weak and frail and hideously mortal in that instant, unable to move without pain or walk without collapsing. She closed her eyes when Hadrian moved back, relief making her stomach clench in anticipation of further embarrassment. When she opened them again, she met his look with one of mortification. It very clearly said 'leave me alone to embarrass myself in private'.
The doctor that tended her said that the pain could be from a number of factors, especially since she'd noticed stiffness and discomfort in that leg before in the mornings, evenings, and following exercise. Most likely it was a case of hip displasia combined with a poorly healed injury from several decades ago and the resulting excess of exercise to re-strengthen the leg muscles. It wasn't something that could be fixed. It wasn't something that would go away. It was here to stay, and it would only get worse.
Losing mobility. Gods, that terrified her. She was practically mobility incarnate. She moved constantly. It was how she lived. Her way of life centered around activity. And here this woman, this doctor, was telling her that she needed to curtail the most strenuous of motions as much as possible to avoid further aggravating her condidition.
The humiliation was acute. Never mind that she was fucking old and medical problems happened to everyone. They weren't supposed to happen to her!
But she wouldn't live forever, and that fact was never more obvious than in the weeks following her hip's sudden vocal protest.
She probably only had a few years left, didn't she? Maybe a decade if she was lucky, more if she was ridiculously optimistic. Less, most likely. She had a long discussion a few months later with that same doctor, who proceeded to give her a more thorough physical examination.
...maybe five years, she said. Maybe. Possibly as few as two. There were hints that other areas of her body were beginning to wear out. The news was enough to shock the King into silence for several hours following the discussion. She didn't know what to think.
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Post by Satra on Sept 5, 2009 20:36:13 GMT -5
Hadrian made no other acknowledgment to the look he was given then to turn and walk away and close the door behind him. The look scared him a little. He'd never really seen in on her face before. He tried to put it out of his mind as the demon sprog bombarded him with questions (silencing him immediately when he asked a little louder than he should have: "Is Daddy going to die?")
Over the next several weeks, Hadrian did his best to not bother Anoushka too much. If she wanted him to know her business, she would tell him. It didn't stop him from worrying. How could he? He looked up to her so much, but he noticed the ways she was falling apart. She'd slowed down considerably. She was always on the move, always to lively an energetic, always making her age hard to believe. Now as everything came to a grinding halt, the realization of the truth hit him very suddenly: Anoushka was old, regardless of how much he'd forgotten this fact in the past. He couldn't imagine how much harder this must have been for her.
It was another several months before he was able to muster up the courage to say the words he'd spent so much time on figuring out how to say them. Of course in this time it was business as usual, but today was the day he needed to get off his chest what he'd been holding in.
"Anoushka? Can I talk with you?"
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Post by The Jenn on Oct 3, 2009 11:39:58 GMT -5
The last several months had been torturous for the wolf, more for her own attitude towards her encroaching immobility than for anything truly awful happening. She slowed down. She had to take a nap in the middle of the day to be competent in the evenings. She felt drained and worn, and in her mind it was a consequence of not exercising properly. How was she supposed to have any energy if she didn't work herself into a good sweat?
But she couldn't. The fact of the matter was that she just... couldn't. She was physically incapable. It was slowly driving a metal spike deep into her spirit and morale.
She looked up from the report she'd been reading, realizing as she did so that she had no idea what it was about. Had she been focusing? She thought so, but it seemed that she was wrong. Damn it. That was happening more now. It had happened before, but she'd been able to ignore and excuse it. Now there was no excuse. She was just that... fucking... old. Her eighties were creeping up on her. She was no pup. And she had a child under ten years of age. Ugh.
"Yes, Hadrian, of course. Come in."
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Post by Satra on Oct 30, 2009 19:02:57 GMT -5
Hadrian took a breath in and entered. He gave her a small smile and closed the door behind him with his hindquarters. He walked up to her, approaching her with his head lowered more than usual. He licked her fingers when they were in reach.
"I want to talk about something I've been thinking about for a while. And as much as I don't want to get my ass kicked for saying it... I want to say it before it's too late to get my ass kicked for them." He gave her a meaningful look, then continued. "I don't know if I've ever told you -- I probably have and if so, forgive me -- but I love you. Not in the mushy romantic sense of it, but it's probably the best word I have for it. I like it when you're happy, I like it when you reward me for doing right, I love your company and respect you more than I can say, you're probably the best teacher I've ever had my whole life, I hate to see you unhappy in anyway. I feel guilty whether or not I'm the cause. I... Suits, I feel so awkward now... but I have a request." He was hoping he wasn't letting on what he was on about before he got a chance to say it. He had a feeling she'd kick him out for bringing up the subject.
"When you-- I mean-- can I h-- er, uh,.. let me start over," he cleared his throat, "Y-you know me. I remember best with a physical reminder. I don't want anything you teach me to get washed aside because I let myself get too distracted with petty things... Can I-- will you leave me one of your bindings? So that when I do something stupid, I can hear your voice admonishing me for my stupidity and I can keep learning even when you're not here?" He held his breath. He was not expecting a pretty answer.
[I'm so sorry this took so long I know you're trying to move along this character's plot to the end and I was holding it up. >> ]
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Post by The Jenn on Dec 9, 2009 10:54:50 GMT -5
...suck a good boy. Anoushka rubbed at his nose after the lick. "I couldn't kick your ass right now if I tried," she replied with a tired grumble to the look.
The declaration honestly surprised her. Pillow talk and snuggly mutterings were one thing, but a look-you-in-the-eyes was different. Some of her Queens had murmured it to her in the heat of passion. The one bastard of a peacock and told her to her face as he kissed her. This was something else entirely. She nodded for him to continue.
And then he started talking stupid. She gave him a funny look and raised the leather straps to stare at one. "These stupid fucking things? You vant von of these to remember me by? Vhy?! These aren't vhat I am. I overcame these decades ago. I just vear them out of some misguided feeling of... of sentiment! I've never been bound for as long as you know me. Vhy on earth, out of anything I have, vould you vant von of these old leather straps?"
Granted, they were in good conditions. Bindings had to be enchanted to last so that they didn't wear out on their unsuspecting wearer. But they were more like... like kills, like trophies of a past victory, than anything else.
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Post by Satra on Jan 1, 2010 2:20:14 GMT -5
[warning: Hady banter ahead]
Hadrian instantly shrank away from her. Ears back and tail tucked as he stepped backward a few paces.
"I... Anoushka. I..." he stuttered, looking a little flustered, "It's just they... they represent more of you than you know. Your... your strength and, and how you always face your problems, never run away from them. There are people who are born with misfortune and never face it, they always give some excuse or blame someone else. Or when they overcome it, they pretend like it never happened. But you were born with a curse, and you not only overcame it, but to rose up to a level that so many could never hope to achieve." His ears twitched, "It... it sounds childish and stupid, but I look up to you because of it. I was born a Jack and in all the 25 years of my life, I've never achieved any other form. I was born with a Noble mother and father who always pushed me to do something with myself. I've always felt like I've just been coasting along, very really striving for anything. Watching you makes me want something more for me and the people in my life. Your bindings are a symbol of that. A symbol of a life that did not push or even encourage you, and that you think nothing of. Every problem that comes your way now is laughable."
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Post by The Jenn on Jan 1, 2010 10:22:43 GMT -5
Something in Anoushka rather wanted to hit the foolish pup upside the head. Think it as she might, she wasn't able to act on the impulse. A confused and slightly miffed stare was the best that she could do.
"You know I've never held much store by all of that symbolism shit the mystics and clerics preach," she growled, watching him shrink in on himself and look - rather adorably - flustered. "They vere put on me by foolish parents who vere never able to overcome their own problems and couldn't imagine a child of theirs having any more vill than they did. I vas a lazy ass about it for years, and you've still got plenty of time to get off your own. I'll regret not seeing it happen, but if you let Radek coast through life then I'll bite you from the grave." Which she didn't particularly fancy visiting, but she wouldn't have much say in the matter.
She stared at the binding for another moment before turning back to him with a growl. "Fine. If von of these is vhat it takes to get you to do something, for yourself or for the monster, then it vill be yours in the end. Hells know that I von't need it by then. Now vas there any other stupid shit you vanted to be spouting?"
All this thought of death had put her in a sour mood and she wondered how much the Court doctor would squawk if she got herself a vodka. Did she care? Heh. No.
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Post by Satra on Jan 9, 2010 18:30:03 GMT -5
I'll regret not seeing it happen,
Yeah, me too, he thought, looking back up at her. He didn't dare say it out loud, though. She seemed to be getting a little tetchy, and the last thing he wanted at the moment was to make her more so.
"Duly noted," he smiled. Hadrian was never sure he believed in ghost (he was something of a "ghost agnostic"), but if Anoushka threatened it, he was sure she would find a way. "And no. No more stupid shit for the rest of the year, just for you," he winked then put his forepaws up on the arm of her chair. Tentatively, he reached his snout up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Is there anything you need or want? I'd be happy to get it for you."
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Post by The Jenn on Jan 10, 2010 19:24:54 GMT -5
And he wasn't in the least bit intimidated. Grr. Good boy. Anoushka closed an eye as he leaned up for a peck and let him, feeling some part of her heart squish a little. Metaphorically, thank the gods. He was such a good boy, and so easy. She was going to miss him more than she'd thought. If she was able to miss anything.
She hated thinking shit like this. Time for a distraction. "If you're able to keep that von then I'm going to be utterly shocked," she said with a snort, leaning back in her chair and trying not to look as generally uncomfortable as she felt. One hand reached out to scratch a bit of his ridiculous mane and she tugged his head onto her lap for a quiet scritch.
When she was done, she pushed him off and sat a little straighter. "I vant a bottle of vodka. I need a shot. Something in betveen the two should be fine."
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