What to do with a baby bump? [DONE]

[Greenie]

Dysthymia stared in horror at his stomach, for perhaps the fifth or tenth time that day. He was not fat, he was sure of that if nothing else; the distinct lump in his mid-section assured him that he either had a massive tumor in his stomach lining, or he was decidedly pregnant.

Stupid doctors, not diagnosing him with tumors.

At first he had ignored it, figuring that perhaps he could use to lay off the muffins and cherry pie for a few weeks until it went away - it wasn't often that he gained weight, afterall, and it usually shed off fairly easily. The only problem with that solution was that he couldn't keep food down between the hours of two a.m. and ten a.m., and often it didn't matter if he ate at all - the 'nothing' came back up regardless. He started getting splitting headaches out of the middle of nowhere that would disappear just as fast, and his hind paws would swell up at odd times, and generally would switch off, making him look like he'd tried to kick a rock and just hurt himself in the process.

After all of that, the lump just got bigger and bigger until he was forced to take a trip to a doctor he knew in the city - a discreet man, known for actually keeping the privacy of his patients, especially the occasional Noble he saw. Queen's knew Mia needed privacy.

Despite this, he almost cut the poor weasel's head off once he confirmed his dreaded thoughts. Mia was most definitely pregnant, and unfortunately (or perhaps luckily?) there only could be one father. Being celibate for several years and then having one glorious night tended to make it rather, er, obvious. At least he knew who to call when he needed support, though the ferret wasn't entirely sure what type of support he was considering. It was there, anyways.

His luck was about to run out, though. The stupid child was getting too big to go unnoticed in the Courts, and the last thing he wanted was word to get out that he'd gone and gotten himself pregnant. His brothers would laugh, his sister would croon (and whine, because she wasn't pregnant - Saethre could have the damned thing(s) for all he cared), his mother would more than likely mock him if not outright guffaw, and he didn't even want to consider the Court itself. That was a bit too painful to think about.

The ferret finally concocted the idea of a leave of absence of sorts; essentially, he told Lysaras that he needed several months off inorder to deal with some personal problems, though he'd added on that he'd be willing to take some work with him wherever he was going - he just needed to get the heck out of the Courts. She'd agreed, if somewhat confused and hesitantly, but it was all he needed.

Now all Mia needed was to get by Vessatha unnoticed.

[Greenie]

Vessatha knew something was amiss. She could smell it, like one smelled bad eggs from several feet off, except this was more of musty scent and had something to do with one of her spawn.

Unluckily for her favorite-est son, he was the only one in the Courts, and it had to be him. Lysaras had casually dropped that Mia was taking a leave of absence, and while Vessa hardly expected him to inform her personally (the stupid child avoided her as much as possible) a note would have been nice. He probably wasn't even going to pack clean underwear, either. He hadn't left yet, that she knew, and she was determined to find him before he did.

No child of hers took off randomly without Harlequinn being involved. Quinn was somewhere off in Torquehelm, and that meant she wasn't involved (the otter was too chatty to not have dropped something like leaving with Mia) and nothing Vessatha's doom-and-gloom mind could come up with for why he would be leaving was remotely positive.

Growths on his face? A bad hickey somewhere visible? Permanently-hunched-over figure from horrible posture at his desk? His eyes were falling out?

Nothing seemed plausible, given that Mia wasn't prone to strange diseases and was so against sexual activity it made her nearly giggle just to think about it. Even she wasn't as bad as he was.. which might be her fault, but hey, he wasn't her problem anymore.

Until he decided to pack up and leave for seven months, in which case he became her problem again, goddamnit. Stupid spawn, just stay in one place!

The ferret marched her way down to his rooms and opened the door without even thinking to knock. Mia was stuffing objects into a suitcase, not bothering to hide his condition - why would he, when he wasn't expecting visitors?

Vessatha snickered. Once.

[Greenie]

What did he need? Clothing - it might be cold, where he was going.. wherever that was, he hadn't quite decided yet. Clean undies, a hat, a jacket, a scarf; did he need gloves? Sure, why not.

Mia busied himself absently tossing items into the case, not bothering to really see how they were falling. He doubted anyone would care if he wore a wrinkled hat, afterall; they'd be too busy staring at the strange birealm ferret with a massive bump to care what he was wearing. Even if the hat was a tad rainbowy.

He'd just about finished when he thought he heard the door open - but it must be his imagination, because he'd locked it.

Hadn't he?

The abrupt snicker quickly denied that idea. He hadn't locked it because he'd lost his key - and his fardling mother had just walked in and promptly ruined any idea of secrecy he might have had. "Shit." Mia swore, then covered his face with a paw and mentally groaned loudly. "Please don't tell anyone. Please." He pleaded, turning towards her with a grudging look.

"And I'm leaving, I don't care what you think. I'm not staying here like this."

[Greenie]

Vessatha had to keep from grinning widely when he slowly turned towards him - and she even dismissed the swearing, because it was just so damned funny.

He was pregnant! She hadn't even considered that, what with him thinking sex might kill him or something stupid like that, but he'd gone and gotten himself knocked up. Judging by his expression it wasn't an overly lasting relationship, but who knew? Perhaps he was running to his lover's arms. It wasn't like Mia to run to someone else, but after this, she wasn't going to dismiss any possibility.

"No promises," She replied in a sing-songy voice, automatically moving over to his case to start folding the sloppy mess he'd started. "Lysaras deserves to know, and I'm sure Varestes would get a kick out of it.." She mumbled to herself, a smile breaking out on her face despite herself. This wasn't something she could keep secret, oh no. "And what about your sister? Saethre will surely be thrilled."

Vessa continued folding, neatly setting things into the case in piles. "As for your leaving, I couldn't give a rat's-ass. Do what you want. In fact, I think it's a good idea. Knowing you, you'd probably kill the poor things by running into a desk or something equally as clumsy." She stated disdainfully, rolling her eyes.

[Greenie]

Had there been a desk in the room, Mia would have cheerfully slammed his stomach into it, then beat his head over it until the wood was nicely stained red. Sadly, the desk originally present had been taken out once he started showing highly visible signs of overworking himself, much to his chagrin. He'd thought he'd been hiding it well. The only remotely-sharp object remaining was a small lamp, and he wasn't about to break it in order to gauge pictures into himself, as much as he rather wanted to.

"Sometimes," He started bitterly, "I really hate you." The ferret swivelled around and began digging around in the closet, doing his best to not hear who she was planning on telling. Lysaras, no doubt, and Varestes - he did not want to think about that - and probably the entire kitchen staff, which meant everyone would know within a matter of hours.

The sooner he left, the better.

"If I had a desk in here, I would gladly kill them just for you, mother. I know how much you hate children, afterall." He said in his best fake-cheerful voice.

Leftover childhood bitterness, where?

[Greenie]

"Love you too, my dear," Vessa replied blithely, not bothering to take the statement to heart. It wasn't the first time she'd heard it from him afterall, and it surely wouldn't be the last.. especially not after she told the entire Courts. "Momma Quinn is proud of you, I'm sure, wherever she went to this time." Quinn would be more along the lines of estatic, actually, but she decided now was not the best of times to remind him just what he was in for once those kids were popped out.

"Oh, one question. Who's the daddy? At least, I assume it's a daddy and not a mommy, I can't see you actually interacting with a girl long enough to get pregnant," She said thoughtfully, then shrugged. Anything was still possible, afterall - but if he'd gotten pregnant by a girl, she would drop and start laughing right there, decency begone.

"Hate children? Nonsense, I just hate being pregnant. It's not my fault you all turned out half-crazy, that was all Harlequinn." After all these years Vessie still had yet to figure out exactly what the hell was up with her mate and lack of a rank, but she had literally forced herself not to think about it, ever, so it rarely came up in conversation anymore.

[Greenie]

"Right," He said with a snort. "Maybe she'll knock me over so hard that the babies will just pop out right there, hm? Where'd she go, anyways? Midori again?" He rolled his eyes, then abruptly began tossing things out of the bottom of the closet at his mother. If she didn't want to get hit in the head, she would catch them.

He froze at her question, though, and didn't turn around. "That's none of your business," Mia said frostily, then slowly resumed his digging. It was bad enough everyone he knew would soon know he was pregnant, they didn't need to know who it was by, too. It would be a rather unfortunate wake-up call to him as well, 'Hey did you know Mia's pregnant? HA, good job!' ... yeah, it wasn't a situation he really wanted to walk into.

Mia just rolled his eyes. "Whatever," He agreed, just as frostily. As far as he was concerned, she hated him and his siblings - though Sae might top the list, being an utter failure as a female and all.

That, at least, he had nothing to do with.

[Greenie]

"No, I don't think so," Vessa repied. "Torquehelm, I think. Or was it Tulgey? I don't know, some place I'll never go I'm sure." The ferret shrugged, then rose an eyebrow when a sandle went sailing over her head. She managed to catch the next few items, and breezily sidestepped a few others. If he wanted to give her a concussion, he was going to have to try a bit harder.

At his frosty answer, she couldn't help but snicker again. "Was it that bad? I mean, you got pregnant, so there had to be something there.." She trailed off, another snicker escaping again. He hadn't elected to tell her the gender of his lover, but Vess was positive it was a guy; he never so much as glanced at girls, but she'd caught him eyeing a few men a tad more than most would. Not that she had a problem with it - her mate was her own gender, afterall - but he could at least admit it publicly, save himself some time later on down the road.

"Whatever," She said in a stupid voice, doing her best to make fun of him in a motherly fashion. When it didn't come out quite right, she shrugged and threw one of the shoes back at him.

[Greenie]

"Hidebound much?" He muttered, then began untangling a shoelace from his bindings. It was unfortunate that this half of his parentage had no such restrictions - it meant he had nothing to tie her to the doorknob with unless he wanted to take down the nice curtains.

At her later words, he froze once more, but in disgust. A slow shudder worked it's way down his body before he turned to scowl at her, "I am not discussing this with you! Ever! In fact, this conversation is over. Right now. I'm leaving." He got up and grabbed a few of the items in her arms, stuffing them in the suitcase, then zipped it up and nudged it onto the floor. He didn't bother looking up when a shoe hit his back, but instead grabbed the tether needed to pull it behind him and made his way out the door.

[Greenie]

"I'm not hidebound," Vessatha rejected with a pouted-frown. She wasn't, was she? No, she couldn't be. Quinn dragged her all over the place, and it was hardly strange she didn't want to go to Torque or Tulgey. They had weird people in them, afterall, and who wanted to be around weird people?

She couldn't help but crack up when he started shuddering. By the Queen, you'd think she'd asked for specifics of the night, the way he reacted! Certainly she hadn't raised him to think sex was quite this private, though she supposed it wasn't something she would have ever talked to her own mother about - but then again, her mother had been gone long before that opportunity ever came about. Oh well. Mia was just weird.

The ferret followed after him with an absent smile, and leaned against the doorframe as he scattered away from her, then strode down the hallway.

How long did it take to spread a juicy bit of gossip throughout the Court? She was about to find out.