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Post by Tigeress on Oct 7, 2007 18:56:34 GMT -5
[Not only do I love this song XD but it explains a bit of Artemis' history... especially involving men ;D]  Her hooves touched the bank softly, wings swinging back and forth twice in long, heavy sweeping motions as drops from the lake caressing her wings dropped heavily onto the ground. Sighing softly, she sat down onto one hip, staring with an empty gaze over the shimmering water. Her head rested lightly in one hand, silver mane sweeping the earth like liquid silver being spilled, ethereal as the scene around her. This was normally a place of comfort for Artemis, but tonight she felt restless. There was so much on her mind, things resurfacing from spotting locations where memories were made, some pleasant and some not. Her sisters were an ever-present weight pressing into the back of her skull, telling her to try and make amends with everything that had happened. She was the oldest sister, wasn't this her duty then? Like the parent away from home, she understood the conflicts, knew some were her fault, and felt like because she understood these things, only she could make any progress in solving things. But that was not the case. Things may never be the way they were with Sekhmet ever again, and she still hadn't had the nerve to talk to Dympha privately... But even past that, things the middle sister had said to her, had triggered unfortunate events in her mind. Betrayal, so much betrayal, and one of the reasons she could never return home again... shame. Embarassment, years of insecurities and hatred, and a solid resolve never yet broken in all her years. She was careful with her heart and her body, neither were things treated lightly in the sway of romance. It was bitter of her to punish so many others for what only one had done, but bitterness became her these days. It hurt her to know that so many demons tore at her, she felt they were changing her from the inside out, but she couldn't seem to remember the last time she was happy enough to get past it all. She hadn't been ready to come back to the scene of the crime, and yet she was here, looking for something, a piece of her she'd lost somewhere along the way. Maybe that piece was right now sitting in the palace of hearts, or maybe it was a different peice entirely. She could only sigh once more and tangle her fingers through the long silvery mane in frustration, too much to think of on such a beautiful night. |
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Post by FlyingPanther on Oct 18, 2007 15:43:59 GMT -5
[OOC: Sorry if this is short...my muse for Silvanus is lacking lately >.>;. He wants to sulk alone XD;.] Silvanus was particularly tired tonight. He had been plagued by so many things for so long that it was beginning to slow him down and weight him. His strides were no longer so long and confident as they once had been. His sholders slumped. His head tilted were it would get the most support, which was hardly anything. His eyes were nearly always half lidded when not in company. Even his fur and mane had begun to dull. He seemed completely drained. Since Dymphna left after their short tea party, he really had nothing much to look forward to...expect maybe the festival...but it was far enough away that his mind had time to think of other unhappy things. The day had proved to be a thought driven day. There was not much to do, and since it was not a good day to visit either set of kids he had or their mothers, it had left him to contemplation. The only thing he had managed to accomplish today was make 5 dozen cookies, some cinnamon rolls, and a cake. Well, he supposed that wasn't nothing. He could give the sweets to his children when next they met. But it wasn't anything that would do anything long term. He had decided on a walk to finish off the day before bed, smelling faintly of baking, and was on his way home when he saw a sight that made him stop. An almost angelic figure lay on the bank of the river near his cottage home. He couldn't help but stare for a little bit as the light of the moon reflected off the figures silvery wings and hair. After a few moments he realized he was staring, and blushed slightly, turning his head to begin walking once again towards home. But there was something about the female that lay on the bank, she seemed sad... If he did one productive thing today, maybe he should do this? Maybe in the process...he to could find consolation. He started heading toward the female, who upon closer inspection, revealed herself to be an absolutely stunning doe. He nearly gulped, thinking this may possibly be a bad idea. He couldn't trust himself around does anymore, and he didn't want to hurt Dymphna...It was to late though, he was already in a range that the female could clearly have seen him. He gave a small smile, "Forgive me for intruding, and the pun, but....Why so blue?" |
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Post by Tigeress on Oct 19, 2007 10:43:47 GMT -5
She had finally managed to clear her head, thoughts fleeting though emotion lingered, dancing through her eyes as she stared blankly forwards. She was interrupted in her empty staring by a moving form somewhere off to her left. Not used to anyone coming by this way so late at night, she turned her head quickly, propping one hand up in case the traveller meant her harm so that she might stand to defend herself. But no, she could tell from the smile he had caught her in a vulnerable moment and knew she was upset.
The comment was exactly what she'd been expecting, and inwardly she sighed. She'd been wanting someone she could talk with about everything, but her sisters were out of the question, and she had no one else in the city that she knew. Or rather, no one worth visiting. Perhaps this was just what she needed, a long talk with a stranger who probably wouldn't really care in the end and forget about her and the entire speal by the morning. Yes, that might work perfectly.
"Family issues, actually. Having reunited with my third sister this very day, I am... torn by old memories and the knowledge of events which have seperated us all. You seem faintly distraught yourself, perhaps we are both in need of someone to talk to." She smiled at this, noticing the way his had been very half-hearted when he first approached. She imagined if caught in a better mood without whatever was bothering him to get in the way, he would probably have been extremely friendly. It suited him, for he was more attractive coming closer than she had initially thought. Foolish thoughts, it would be Uraket all over again, deceivingly sweet to compliment his trap of attractiveness. However, a little talk would do no harm as long as she remembered to not forget...
"Please, join me. My name is Artemis, might I ask yours?" She patted a spot on the ground next to her as she spoke, sitting up and putting her slender legs out to the side, wings folded in close though she wasn't cold. She was almost never cold, though Sekhmet slept with heavy blankets even in the middle of summer. They truly were like the sun and the moon sometimes... and Dymphna was the star who circled her moon, so much alike they were. She let out a slow sigh, trying once more to put the thoughts away and sort them, trying to think of how to speak with this stranger without blurting everything out in one confusing run.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Oct 19, 2007 12:49:28 GMT -5
Silvanus stood, looking down upon the doe, listening to her speak. It was an odd moment, as it seemed that he to, was having the same problems as the female, though scewed. He was having problems with 'family' though in the form of betrayl and massive amounts of children with friends he had no intention of having children with. He was also torn by memories of the past...also relating to family...and betrayl. He felt like he had stabbed so many people in the back, that he had hardly any knives left to do anything with. "I suppose we both do, however, it might be in your intrest not to hear what I have to say." he looked out onto the river, for a moment not able to say anything else, and leaving his enigmatic comment at that.
He sat where she indicated, crossing rather awkwardly his legs and sitting up straight, breathing in and out once before slumping slightly. He turned back to her, "That is a very lovely name, Artemis. My name is Silvanus." he said simply, watching as she moved her silvery wings around her, and realizing that it was a bit cold. He silently wished he had brought a jacket or something similar. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night. "What memories plague you? I am all ears if you would like for me to listen." he said looking at her, and beginning to get a bit nervous, as if by simply touching her he might get her pregnant, though it was to late now to scoot a bit away unless he wanted to apear rude, which he never did.
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Post by Tigeress on Oct 19, 2007 15:08:53 GMT -5
His comment made her merely nod her head, if she had been anyone else her face might have contorted momentarily into a look of confused intrigue, but she remained neutral. "Though I am curious what you mean by that, your secrets are your own and I've no right to pry or coax them from you." Again her lips formed that simple, pleasant smile. It was her way of being friendly, though as Sekhmet had noted, only Dymphna had been able to make her show real emotion, a real smile, true happiness. Nobody could explain why that was, except for Artemis herself.
She noted his awkwardness in the back of her head, but again said nothing about it. This was a creature with many burdens, and while she felt bad for him, it pleased her to know that he might truly understand her pain. "Thank you. I am fond of yours as well, very elegant yet masculine." She would have admitted out loud that she found it suited him, except that could be taken as flirting, and we all know where that leads... So she'd decided against it and left her comment as it was, an honest compliment but nothing more.
"My sisters and I used to be inseperable. Myself and my youngest sister especially. But really, back then I suppose I loved them equally, my memories of the present have made my words biased." She paused and coughed, trying to think of a straight way to say things without wandering with her words, as she was beginning to do. "Everything started the moment my youngest sister said she wanted to be in the court of Hearts. She had big aspirations, but being born an 8 made my parents scoff at the idea, they were more partial to my middle sister and I, both born natural tens. I knew she meant to leave one night, she'd kept it secret from my parents, and she probably would have kept it a secret from Sekhmet, my middle sister, and I, had I not approached her. She wouldn't have wanted to hurt us, and some days I think I should have let her leave quietly...." She paused again, staring out over the water. Ever since she arrived here, her mind had been filled with 'what if?'s and she was growing tired of that mentality.
Sighing, she managed to clear her head enough to continue. "However, I didn't let her leave quietly, I had a small council with Sekhmet to discuss things while Dymphna, my youngest sister, was finishing packing. Sekhmet... didn't take the news very well. She said cruel things about my sister leaving so suddenly, she felt that Dymphna had taken advantage of our kindness throughout the years and was betraying us. It was true, we shielded her from the cold realities of the world by giving her the love our parents denied her, it was enough that she didn't end up growing up with the hate she might have otherwise, but... Well, what are siblings for? I've never lost my head the way I did that night, I let Sekhmet's words flow through my mouth without thinking, and she left... just like that." Sighing heavily, she laid her head gently in her hand, eyes winced shut at the frustrating memory. When she opened them again, there was a dark light in those silver depths that spoke of many weary years spent mourning her decisions. "I realized later, Sekhmet's words were out of jealousy. I had told Dymphna once, that if she left I would go with her. I suppose when I was young, I fed off of her aspirations and decided I wished for the same life. Sekhmet found this out eventually, and feared loosing me to her, so she did the only thing she could think of to keep me with her." She laughed softly, the sound bitter and filled with pain.
"I spent years regretting the decisions made that night, and my inability to see through the games being played upon me. I do blame Sekhmet, but she's tried so hard to make up for those mistakes... which is why we're here. I met up with my sister today and it was... nice. I felt whole for the first time in years, as if nothing had ever happened. But things will never truly be the same, and I'm coming to understand that. When I'll accept it... I do not know. I thought I would come to the city and leave Sekhmet to join Dymphna in the courts, but I don't know if that is the path I really want, or simply the path guilt is leading me down." She glanced up at Silvanus suddenly, searching his eyes as if she would find all her answers there. In reality, she simply wondered what he would say to her history's story. It seemed kind of silly to her sometimes, like a bad drama, but the pain was as terrible as she could have ever imagined.
"Are you sure you have nothing you wish to talk about? I feel... strange, having just said all of that, admittedly. I've never had anyone to say it to. I do not speak to my parents except to keep the peace between them and us, and my sisters... well, I don't think that need be explained." She might have laughed if she were in better spirits, but as it was, the chuckle was stifled at her lips so that the sarcasm reached it before any true humour could.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Oct 22, 2007 18:02:55 GMT -5
"My past is not so friendly on the mind." he said simply when she seemed confused by what he ment earlier. Not that this answer was any less cryptic, but he hoped that it was enough of an answer that she would be hesitent to ask any further questions about it.
He didn't really look at her in the beginning of her tale, instead opting to watch the moonlight play against the flowing waters of the river in front of them, as if somehow they were going to illustrate the story for him before his very eyes. They didn't however, but it was nice to look out upon them nonetheless. It also made him less anxious, as looking upon the doe was giving him chills. He had proven to not have much self control...and not that the lady had any intention of doing so, but if she at all forced herself upon him, he knew he wouldn't be able to resist. The waters were calming his mind of such clouding thoughts.
Silvanus listened, but wasn't quite sure what to do. He had a brother when he was younger...as he had told Ophelia so many many nights ago, and they had never gotten along...He could not empathize with the female doe, but maybe that was not what she needed. Maybe she really just needed to tell her story to someone, maybe getting it off her....chest...was all she needed. Not to mention, he more recently noticed the bright red 10 when she spoke of it, and meeting those high enough to be in the court of hearts always gave him the jitters. Dymphna had been the only one he had not completely been immidiately intimidated by, ever...in the court of hearts.
Speaking of Dymphna, the discribtion of her younger sister was hauntingly reminicent of his shining beauty. No they were not really together, he supposed, but he still considered her extremely beautiful. It was then that the profile was matched up with his loves name. It made his head turn to the creature sharply. So this involved Dymphna as well? And this was her sister? No wonder she was a stunning doe. Their mother and father must have been so proud to have such a beautiful bunch of daughters (he could only imagine that sahkmet was a looker as well...seeing as he had not yet met her). Well...except for the fact that Dymphna had been born a 8. He understood now her increadible need to be so busy within the palace, and inside himself he felt very sad for her. How could parents care so deeply about the ranks of their children...
He sighed...the question bringing back a slightly different question which troubled him to much.
Parents were picky with their children, was finally what he had come to the conclution of. He only hoped he would never turn out that way. He put away his tangent thoughts to listen to the rest of the female's story. "I know your sister, Dymphna...she is a lovely lovely lady...and if I know anything about her, I would say you have no need to fear her or her thoughts. I...didn't know she had siblings, but I can't imagine she would hold a grudge against you two. Despite the odds she has accomplished her goal, and she is extremely happy. I think she would absolutely love to have both of you around in the courts, not just Sakhmet."
He truely didn't know very much about his lady love if she had a set of sisters that she had never mentioned, but he hoped that he would be right about his point. He showed his confidence in a small smile he gave the doe, warm with his feelings for Dymphna. She didn't strike him as the vengeful type or grudging type. Maybe thats why he liked her so much. She appeared to be forgiving, one of the things he needed most in this life. Forgiveness.
He noded a bit at her last question. "I have a habit of loosing people when I devulge my past. I'm....not a very...good person." he finally admitted, then...felt immidiately sorry he had said anything. The words were forboding...and not exactly something that he wanted someone so close to Dymphna to know...he looked a little frightened at the doe. "You can't tell Dymphna that....please...I'll tell her when the time is right. I...don't want to loose her to..." not that he really had her, but she and Ophelia were the closest things to friends he had right now...and losing one of them would be a very devistating blow. His worry show painfully upon his face and body...as he seemed to grow duller and greyer as he spoke.
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Post by Tigeress on Oct 22, 2007 20:18:28 GMT -5
His expression calmed her, never alarmed or bored, mocking nor impatient. This not-so-stranger truly had the time and desire to listen to her woes of the past, and for this she was grateful. She didn't know what she was expecting when she became silent, she certainly wasn't expecting him to try and give any sort of advice. Just hearing it aloud had opened up many trains of thought she hadn't presented to herself previously, and she realized how much her fear was holding her back. Sekhmet, she was still concerned about, they might never be the same again, but this was Dymnphna... the star to her moon. If there was anything she'd ever counted on, it was that they would walk together through their journeys in life and always be understanding to any hardships. They'd said something like that in conversation once, one of the many heart to hearts she could remember.
"You are right, truly. I think I was simply overwhelmed... Sekhmet and I may never truly be the same again, though I have forgiven her I don't think she's yet forgiven herself. It is... awkward at times to be near her in the silence when I can almost hear her thoughts and I know she wants to say something to me to make it better. Dymphna however, well, she and I were always closest, though I tried to hide it so that Sekhmet did not become jealous of our relationship. I should have known better... I should seek her out perhaps, actually talk to her about it for once. Do you think that would be best? I can see no other way, she is too shy and timid to bring it up herself, unless much has changed, so I must try then." She nodded her head, once, twice, sending long tresses of silver flowing across her form.
She raised one hand up to brush the hair away, but let her hand linger there a moment as she caught his eyes on her, just for a fleeting second. It was polite, but it made her heart race nonetheless. It was fear that gripped her, though intrigue told her to perhaps get to know him better, for he seemed to be quite fetching thus far. When he mentioned Dymphna though, he seemed to breathe easier, and all the signs of romance were visible in his eyes. It surprised her slightly, and brought on sharp pains of jealousy and longing. To be so free... she would have to get to know this male anyway, then. To protect her sister, she would see exactly who he was when out of her sight.
Ah, already he had let slip a little secret. Though it confused her, enough that it registered on her careful features. "I don't believe that's true, Silvanus. Though... I suppose... neither am I. And not just for my past with my sisters, there is more that chases me through this city." Her was soft at the beginning as she spoke his name, soothingly almost. Though that same voice had taken on a cold tone towards the end, careful and slow so as to control any other emotion that might run through. She was a forgiving creature, much like her sister, but there were things that affected her to this day, betrayal she could not run from that affected her life now in the present. That, was still unforgivable, to break such trust and to hide such a disgusting true face...
She shook herself out of her nightmare reverie visibly, sighing out as she did so and then laughing uneasily towards her companion. "I don't think we have a close enough relationship right now for casual gossip, even if I did believe that betraying the trust of others was acceptable. Which, it is not, in my opinion." It was her not so simple way of letting him know his words would not be repeated. It seemed they were both letting more and more slip in what could only end up as a downward spiral of ugly truths they had probably never told anyone before. How strange that this should be with a stranger, baring her soul and exposing herself in such a way for the first time ever. Even her sisters didn't know about... him... that had been a path she'd walked alone and regretted deeply.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Oct 23, 2007 18:57:05 GMT -5
Silvanus shruged a bit at her question, though considering it nonetheless. "They say time heals all wounds. I'm sure that your sister will come to forgive herself in time, especially if you and Dymphna show her the love and support she needs. I'm sure that even if she pushes back at first, she will finally come to accept that you two actually do forgive her, and that will really begin the healing process." he looked down at the grass a bit between them, leading down to the muddy banks of the river. Absently, he picked a flower and inspected it, speaking once again, "Talking might be the right first course of action, but it also depends on the person. There are some people that...well...you just can't talk to." he through the flower into the river and watched as it slowly spiraled downstream with the current, his head turning to keep his eyes upon it. "That usually only counts for people that you aren't related with though. Relation changes everything." when the flower was out of sight he turned his attention back to Artemis.
But finally the topic had turned to a place he didn't really want it to go. A place where he became to afraid to speak. She was, after all, Dymphna's sister and despite he claim that he could trust her not to speak a word, he knew that if he spoke of anything, she would probably tell her. She had been attempting to protect her before...why in the world woudn't she protect her sister now? Even with their relationship seemingly on ice, a sister hearing the story of a man intending to date a sibling would most likely let the other know of anything...strange or worrysome.
"What is it that chases you?" he asked...in attempt to avoid the less favorible part of the converstation that seemed to suggest that she wanted to know more about his past.
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Post by Tigeress on Oct 23, 2007 21:42:34 GMT -5
She took his advice in, allowing her eyes to focus on the flower he tossed into the water as she began to run through a series of scenarios in her mind. Yes, it did depend on the person, and being related meant she stood a much larger chance of fixing things by speaking up, as opposed to ignoring them and hoping they would just fade from existance. If her sister was anything like her in that respect, she would never truly forget, no matter how good an actor she was. She was tired of the acting those in the court did, she didn't want to see Dymphna's fake face turned towards her.
"You give good advice, I find it strange that you seem so generally distressed." She left it at that, for he had several times tried to avoid any talk of his predicaments. It was understandable, she was normally like that, but she found him to be a stranger whereas he saw her as a potential relationship sabotage. Obviously her words hadn't been enough to convince him of her loyalty to her beliefs and opinions, so perhaps it was worth sharing with him the story. No, this was far too personal, and yet, it was another thing she could never tell anyone else. After this night she may never get the courage again, she was already on a roll, having received positive input from her first tale of woe.
"The love of my life... or rather, whatever is left of the man I used to know in that body." Her arms wrapped about herself, pressing the cold steel of the moon pendant into her breast. She obviously was not cold, her body didn't hunch into itself for warmth, this was the kind of cold that came from the inside. The kind best kept contained until something could warm it and melt it away. "I only ever let my guard down for love once, and it was just long enough to learn my mistake." Her eyes seemed misted and faraway, though nobody could attest to having seen Artemis ever cry before. Sekhmet had only been able to spy from afar when the moonlight doe had assumed she had privacy, she would never loose her composure in front of someone.
"Suffice to say, I gave him everything. My heart, my loyalty, all the promises of honesty and faithfulness. I even went as far as to allow him the honour of being my first... well, pretty near everything." She was blushing at this, not having ever admitted it out loud before. It made her sound pitifully inexperienced for a female her age, though she should have been proud of the fact that she was far from a whore like her sister. Sekhmet had no problems with sharing her body to all that caught her eye, however, it simply never crossed her mind as being even remotely shameful.
"Leaving with him was the only time I ever left my home, and we were to buy a house together in the city, this very city... We did, and at first it was wondrous, until I met... her. Sleeping in the bed that we bought, on the same spot where my body would usually lie." She had lept through the story in great leaps and bounds, the little details were too painful to go into. Though this was proving to be just as hard, her voice growing increasingly quieter, yet harder like concrete slowly forming into a solid cold mass. "Every girl when young imagines an ideal man, her knight in shining armour I suppose. He had been everything I had pictured, a gentleman who never pushed or pressured, with a cultured way of speaking and a smoky, masculine voice to thrill. His looks were as bespelling as his charm and compliments, his romantic vows enough to steal my breath in awe that he could feel so much for me." Her voice was beginning to give out, and she had to pause, taking a moment to look long and hard over the water.
"I gave everything, and I thought he did the same. The different was, his was all an act, and one he repeated to another audience. I do not blame her for falling for it, him, his lies and deception, but in that moment when I saw her lying next to him, I understood that to love was to know agony." Her head tilted up towards the sky, letting the chill night wind brush over her and crystallize whatever moisture might have crept into the corner of her storming eyes, wild with emotion long tamed. "I shall not make such a foolish mistake again. I lost everything and was left with only a hole, empty and longing for things I cannot afford to fill it with." Her hands were clutched tightly to her, as if she didn't quite trust herself to touch or be touched by anyone or anything. It wasn't far from the truth. She knew she wanted to be held and told that everything would be alright, but she also knew that lying to herself was only as bad as asking someone else to do it for her.
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Post by FlyingPanther on Oct 28, 2007 19:27:24 GMT -5
"I do not always practice what I preach. I try to be the best person I can be, but often I find myself not in that category." he said, being careful not to continue to speak about such things, less he let something slip. The doe didn't need to know about his brother...or about Ophelia and Astyana. No one needed to know who was not directly involved. He dreaded the day he would have to finally tell Dymphna. Perhaps then Artemis would find out his most guarded secrets. He didn't doubt that Dymphna would be livid with him, if not worse, and he wondered if she wouldn't share her anger with her sisters. He hated how the rest of his life was now tainted by the horrible things he had done in his past. He either had to tell people...or they would eventually find out themselves. Either way...it left him with very few people who cared about him in his life. It was simply a miracle he had the people he did.
Silvanus listened to the heart wrenching story silently, beginning to feel a coldness inside of himself. "Suffice to say, I gave him everything. My heart, my loyalty, all the promises of honesty and faithfulness. I even went as far as to allow him the honour of being my first... well, pretty near everything." if that didn't seem to echo Astyana he wasn't sure what did. It made him shudder slightly, and he hoped that she hadn't noticed. Granted he didn't know to what extent Astyana felt about him, but there was just something inside him that felt as if those very sentances could have been spoken by her. He wondered mildly how she and Igal were doing. Had the children arrived yet? He hated to think that he had hurt someone so lovely and sweet as Astyana, but he was sure that along with Igal he had hurt her to some extent as well. How cruel a person he had turned out to be.
His head lowered as her story progressed, eyes closing solemly. Why did he feel as though he was the one who had done this to her? Her words echoed in his mind, twisting and changing into the voices of Astyana and Ophelia. He was tied to neither of them, yet he was. He had not cheated them, and yet, he had. He had attempted to be a chivalrous gentleman all his life, and he had failed them...and himself in turn. He had burdened them with pregnancy, an a man in their lives that would never be theirs. Had he not done exactly the same thing as this man had done to Artemis? What made this man any different and less monsterous then he? Nothing. He was no better. He could hear the angst in her voice, hear in her heart what the man had done to her, and he felt like weeping. It was then he realized to, for the first time, that he was seeking to fill a whole to. It is what had lead him to give pain to so many people in his lifetime. But what would sadate it?
He couldn't help himself. In that moment, he didn't care what the consequences were. He needed to consol himself. He needed to indirectly appologize, because he knew he may never get the chance to actually appologize to anyone he had hurt. He needed to let her know she wasn't alone. He threw himself at her, his arms wrapping around her tightly, as if to never let go. He was so deep within his own mind, he probably didn't realize it was completely inappropriate and startling. He held back burning tears that wanted to flow so freely. "I'm so sorry." was all he could manage to say without his voice cracking from utter sadness. He didn't let go, and he wondered if he could.
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