A Lost Kitten [Finished]

[Kari Muffin]

With her teacup held in bare hands she took a sip of hot tea. It almost burned as it went down her throat, but she honestly didn't mind. Somehow it made her feel a little bit better. Still broken and useless though. That wouldn't go away.

It was a rather random thing for her to do, but she moved over to sit in Hatter's lap. He still had room to drink his tea of course, but she just wanted to be close. It felt better this way. Someone who could hold her was just what she needed. Just what she wanted. Why was this hurting so badly?

"It's good, better than me that's for sure," she half sighed as she snuggled close to him. She took another small sip of tea. "I screwed up. There's no other way to describe it. I.... It shouldn't hurt this badly."

[Vyn]

When Peaches shifted to sit in his lap, Hatter accepted her with welcome arms and a small smile. He was more than accustomed to being a chair, thanks to his meetings with Murmur, and wouldn't have turned Peaches away for the world. Besides, he really wanted her as close as possible anyway. So he absently returned his tea cup to the tray and focused the whole of his attention to her.

"It will, though." He kissed the back of her neck, closing his eyes as he nuzzled up against her. "It's...going to hurt. For a while... It's always hard to watch someone suffer and struggle."

By the suits, did he know how it was! His struggle with Marchie was an exceptional torture. To watch him deteriorate year after year and to be able to do nothing... It was frightening, heartbreaking...and you felt useless.

"It'll be alright. Just, don't...give up on them entirely." He kissed her again, doting concern and affection on her. Oh how he loved his Peaches, if only he could properly express that for her! "Off the deep end or teetering on the brink, they'll appreciate you being there."

[Kari Muffin]

It was the truth. He wasn't going to lie to her like so many other people would. Why that made her feel better, she wasn't sure. It just felt better coming from him. "That's the thing... I don't know if I can be there without breaking down. I've been holding it in for so long and I could never... ever tell him what I think. He wouldn't understand. He was never capable of understanding in the first place I suppose."

She took a long drink of the tea. There was more to the story. Not that story but the whole story. A strangled mew escaped Peaches as she put the tea down on the table. She looked up to him with watery eyes, hugging him. "But I think the real problem is that I miss my brother, Basil. I keep equating this to... him."

To say it out loud to someone else was strange.

[Vyn]

Hatter couldn't lie to her. She didn't need it, wouldn't appreciate it. There was ways, though, of saying what needed to be said and giving love and comfort and support. Hatter put all he could into giving that to her.

"Oh love, holding it in isn't good." He held her against her, cuddling her firmly in his arms. He didn't know who it was she was trying to support, but he wanted to help. If they meant that much to her that she would let them break her heart like this...he had to help. "If there's someone else there that can look out for him, then don't go back. Stay here, for as long as you need. My home is yours, Peaches. Always."

When Peaches turned back to him, meeting him with those big sweetly sad eyes, Hatter smiled weakly and drew her up against his warmth again. "It's completely understandable to miss him. Greatly so." He kissed her nose, her cheeks. Doted affection on every soft inch of skin before him. "You can't hold yourself responsible for these things, darling. It's not your fault, none of it is."

[Kari Muffin]

He was right. It wasn't good to hold it all in but she had been doing it for so long it was the only thing she knew how to do. How could she fix that after so many years of damage? It just seemed impossible and she couldn't stay here for long. She had left so abruptly she couldn't just stay away. "I have to go back though. I have a job to do, and I can't let it suffer just because I'm miserable..."

She almost sighed, but she was surprised by his next statement, and the kissing. That caught her completely off guard. It made her feel quite a bit better. Someone that actually cared about her. Someone who... loved her maybe? The Perfect Stranger at the very least. She purred a bit, reaching up to lick Hatter on the nose. "It's easy to say Hatter, but it's not easy to break the habit. My brother meant the world to me and now.. now every time I see this other man I start equating him to my brother. I don't want to lose him like I lost Basil. It feels like my fault..."

[Vyn]

"Of course, that's very true." He sighed a little, pouting for a moment before a pleasant idea filled his mind. "Then why don't I come back with you? I'll only stay for a little while, just to be sure everything is okay...?" If she couldn't stay here, then he would just have to go there. Or, perhaps, just have to take to more frequent visits to his favorite feline's Court home.

His pout vanished instantly when her purring swallowed up his attention, as did the lick, and he grinned widely. He absolutely adored the sound of her purring and so, of course, he determined to hear it whenever he could. For now his fingers trailed over her body, stroking and cuddling his Perfect Stranger. One day he really would have to tell her that he loved her.

"I know, and I don't really expect you to, either. You're too terribly sweet and you care deeply for people." He could say that with confidence from simply hearing what she was saying now. His hands rose up, cupping her cheeks and wiping away any lingering tears. "It's not your fault, though. Even if you can't break yourself of it, I want you to know it."

For a moment his eyes would meet her, surprisingly sharp but still full of affection, and then he'd quickly drop them. He couldn't hold eye contact like this, he saw everything too sharply. It was a state of mind meant only for his Queen, and yet he found Loreta and Peaches so capable of triggering it.

[Kari Muffin]

It pulled on a heart string when he looked away. There was something different about him that she couldn't quite place. She wouldn't try, it just didn't seem like the right thing to do. "Thank you so much for caring. You have no idea how much this helps."

She wanted to smother him with affection in that moment. However the problem was still tugging on the back of her heart. The pain wouldn't go away so easily would it? Closing her eyes for a moment she moved closer to Hatter, digging her face into his shirt. Peaches just wanted to stay like this for a few moments. Why had this happened to her? Why had she gotten so close to people? It wasn't supposed to work like that. She had been so careful before, how had she slipped up.

Oh heavens Xiven didn't know she had left.

"Yes, you can come back with me if you want," she said as she pulled away from his shirt. "I can't promise the state of things and... you have to be careful."

[Vyn]

Hatter smiled softly and when she buried her head against his chest, he held her tightly there. Gently, he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head before sighing quietly. Happy just to have her close and to know that he was helping even a little.

"I couldn't help myself from caring, Peaches... Even if I wanted to." The words 'I love you' rushed to the tip of his tongue and then, to his dismay, caught there and stayed forcefully put. He wanted to say it, wanted her to know...and yet his heart tugged at him.

What of His Queen? He couldn't love them both, not like that.

Or so he thought. His heart very decidedly didn't agree. Good job, Hatter.

When she pulled back, he blinked slightly and then broke into a pleasantly wide grin. "I will. I promise I won't cause any trouble, none at all." He meant this entirely, for he really could behave himself when he put his mind to it. "When do you have to go back?"

[Kari Muffin]

"I'm glad someone can care about me, and I can care back. Thank you really... I can't say it enough." Her voice wanted to give out. She wanted to say so many things out loud, but her mouth wouldn't let her and her heart couldn't agree with her head. Stupid complicated things.

But the other matters had to be dealt with, right? When did she need to be back? She hadn't really told Bernard anything beyond "I need to go before I have a mental break down" with a teary eyed expression. She hadn't even grabbed her fan, or bag, or anything for that matter. It was lucky that she managed to grab some of her money. She almost felt stupid for doing that. Almost, she was surprised she even made it to Hatter's without breaking down like she did at Basil's grave.

"I don't know. I didn't exactly say when I would be back. I was close to having a break down and... I just blathered everything at someone before leaving. I even forgot my fan."

[Vyn]

"You're welcome, Peaches." He grinned at her, and his tension seemed to relax a little. His voice was still off, but he was meeting her eyes more again and seemed more himself with every moment. "I'm just happy I can give you that. You're my Perfect Stranger, after all..." That was the closest he could come to admitting how very much she meant to him, but with the way he clung to her and doted kisses upon her it should have been obvious.

"How about you stay the night, at very least, and then we can go whenever you're ready." He nodded his head decidedly, giving her nose another gentle kiss. "I really only need to let Marchie know that he needs to feed himself for a bit, which...well, that isn't hard, because Loreta makes me keep food now." He ran his fingers through her hair and let them come to rest on her hips.